Fun, Food, and Fever

Good Evening!  I'm sitting looking out over the night lights of Addis Ababa as I type.
I was able to sleep until 7am this morning (and all God's children said, "Amen.").  We needed to be ready to go by 8am, so it was a bit more hectic than most mornings, but we were able to get going in time.  Mark woke up at 4am with some stomach troubles, but we both attributed it to a steak he had yesterday that came with gravy.  Rather than sending it back, he "scraped the gravy off" and for someone with serious gluten intolerance, that wasn't a good idea.  It caught up to him (due to the wheat in the gravy).  He was able to take 22 kinds  some medicine to try to feel better before Mengistu arrived at 8am.  I was pleasantly surprised to see him come downstairs a few minutes before 8 looking somewhat better.  The plan today was to go to cultural training at the Bethany office here in Addis.  So, we all piled into the van with one other family (love them so much.  Gonna miss you, Kim and Brian!).  We spent an hour and a half some quality time in the van getting there in the morning commute traffic.  We finally arrived around 9:30am.  We were escorted around the main building, up outdoor steps, and into a room on the second floor.  Inside we found many interesting things: wood carvings, clay pots, leather coasters, etc.  all unique to Ethiopian culture.  Waiting for us were plates of traditional Ethiopian snacks like cookies (they call biscuits), Kola (a roasted mix that reminds me of trail mix.  but it's not), and dabo (bread) that was baked to be crunchy, similar to a crouton.  There wasn't much I could eat, but it all looked delicious.
Soon enough we were able to get started into the cultural training, learning about the history of Ethiopia, the tribes (but not all 86!), regions, languages, climate, religion, government, holidays, customary greetings/etiquette, etc.  Then, after that part was over, in walked a beautiful, older Ethiopian woman carrying a tray for a coffee ceremony.  Before I knew it she had coffee beans roasting and she asked us if we wanted to roast them.  We took turns moving the beans across the hot plate in order to evenly roast them all.  While we were roasting coffee beans (let me just say... the smell was to die for), she started making lentil wat.  Wat is any kind of sauce you put on top of injera (the spongy bread that is traditional to Ethiopian cuisine).  Wat can be doro wat (chicken), beef, lamb, lentil, etc.  And, I took detailed notes (and pictures) on how to make it.  It seemed fairly simple and smelled divine really, really good.... lentils, oil, onions, garlic, tomatoes, and berbera (traditional spice made from ground red hot peppers and combined with many other spices.  Often berbera recipes differ from family to family, almost like a secret recipe, all depending on what spices are added to the peppers).  The lentil wat took about 30 minutes to make, which gave us plenty of time to roast the coffee beans.  After the beans were finished roasting, we had to set them aside and let them cool off before we could grind them.  BY HAND.  The coffee ceremony is one of the many (but the most common) ways Ethiopians honor guests or show hospitality.  Let me tell you... it isn't just throwing some beans into a grinder and then turning on the coffee pot.  THIS IS A LABOR OF DELICIOUS LOVE.  And, we will be having some coffee ceremonies at our house soon enough!
Next, while the lentil wat continued to smell like heaven in a pot  simmer and finish, we were able to make injera!  All Ethiopians know this isn't as easy as it looks.  There is a specific texture and technique for this unique bread.  The sweet lady demonstrating said we did great and it looked good, but suffice it to say, hers put all of ours to shame.  By the time we all gave injera making a try, the coffee beans had cooled long enough to grind.  So, we all took turns grinding away.  The beans were placed in a wooden bowl with a pedestal, almost like a small vase.  The beans go in the top and then, you just grind using a wooden or metal object.  Today, we used a long metal dowel, but I believe wood is far more common,  traditionally.  It took all us grinding to finally get the consistency right.  All of us, except Mark.  About the time the cooking started, he stepped just outside of our room into the fresh air, but we had the door propped open, so he could still be in our conversations.  I knew he wasn't feeling well.  One of the main components of a coffee ceremony is popcorn.... popcorn is always served before or with the coffee.  Mark had eaten a few pieces of popcorn, but not much.  Soon, we were drinking buna and eating injera and lentil wat.  It was a fun, educational day.  Meanwhile, Tyson was running around outside with Mengistu acting like he owned the place.  He has done a great job answering to "Tyson" all day and we continue to stand back in amazement at how far he has come in just a week of being in our care (can y'all believe it will be a week tomorrow?).  He nearly always says, "please" and "thank you" without prompting and without demanding.  That's a big change in a week!  He laughs so much and his giggle melts me every. single. time.  It really does all of us.  It was a great treat to be able to see Sebilu, Bethany's Africa director, while we were at the Bethany office for training today.  The last time we saw him was 4 years ago when him and his beautiful wife were at Chilhowee Hills visiting with us.  He commented on how happy he was to see us on this side of the globe this time.  We couldn't agree more.
As we were leaving our attorney's, Abdi and Tesfahun, both stopped to tell us about the update from the kebele, the government office that hasn't printed birth certificates (even for natives) since July.  So, even Ethiopians wanting a birth certificate can't get one, which means they can't apply for passports, get visas, or any other type of thing that may require a birth certificate.  The new news is that Tesfahun had plans to go by MOWCA today after lunch to get a letter from them that will be required to get our exit visa.  Typically this letter comes later in the process, closer to our departure, but it isn't nearly as hard to get as other things from MOWCA.  He also got a letter from the court asking them to print our adoption certificate (which is the new document they are giving rather than new birth certificates for adoption cases).  Then, his plan was to take those letters and our adoption decree (from passing court) to the kebele and ask them if they would print it since we had everything we needed and since we are staying in the country.  Tesfahun was successful at obtaining both letters (despite the power being out at MOWCA on his first attempt), which is great news.  He took the documents to the kebele that has seemed the most promising on producing us an adoption certificate, but he waited for the director until 5:30pm with no success of getting to see her.  Tomorrow morning two other families with Bethany have court appointments.  As soon as those court appointments are over Tesfahun is going to back to Kebele to present our documents.  He is going to ask if our coming will aide in speeding this up.  If so, they will arrange transportation for us and we will meet him at the kebele in the afternoon.  Your continued prayers for this one document are so appreciated.  Once we get this one document we will primarily be dealing with the US Embassy, so it is a much more streamlined, predictable process and is expected to take about 2 weeks.  SO, that means once we get the kebele document, we should be 2 weeks from coming home (maybe less.... but the US Embassy only sees adoption cases on Tuesdays, so if we get everything we need on a wednesday and the only thing remaining is that appointment, we have to wait to the following Tuesday to do that.  That's the final thing.  After the US Embassy appointment, we fly home... maybe even that same day!).
We are so incredibly grateful for the persistence and diligence of the team here on the ground in Addis to work so tirelessly with agencies that aren't super cooperative.
Moving on... after training, we walked just up the street to a pizza place that was SO CUTE.  We sat outside under a thatched roof that had chandeliers hanging overhead.  We agreed it looked it like something you'd see at Disney's Animal Kingdom.  Tyson did well at lunch, but it got really long, as Mengistu walked another family back to Bethany for their court orientation in preparation for tomorrow and we waited for him at the restaurant.  All in all, we survived and I tried not to think about what the surrounding Ethiopians thought about our parenting techniques.  I don't want him to wear a shirt that says "I have only been with them a week," but part of me thinks it might be helpful.  I'm laughing just thinking about it.
I could tell Mark needed to get back to the guesthouse and rest.  He was unusually quiet and pale.  We arrived back to the guesthouse around 2:30pm and we played outside while Mark took a nap, hoping to sleep "it" off.  I came back up to the room to grab some water and check on him around 3:30 and he had a 101 fever.  Fearing he might have the plague be contagious and have more than gluten exposure, I went to the other families to see if anyone had Cipro I could give him.  Turns out another family did, so I gave him Tylenol and Cipro to try to knock every germ and bad microbe OUT OF HERE.  I ended up going back downstairs until dinner, hoping he could sleep and wake feeling better.  TURNS OUT IT WORKED.  He's definitely not 100%.  I think his exact words involved him and something about a Mack truck.  But, he managed to eat a few potatoes from dinner and no trips to the bathroom afterwords (insert Hallelujah Chorus here).  Tyson couldn't wait to carry "Daddy's medicine to him."  At one point Ty even looked at me and said, "Is Dad home today?"  Haha.  I reminded him he was sleeping upstairs and then he was good to go.
Tonight I sat with Tyson on my lap and Brycen, Regan, and Tyson played a LEGIT game of GO FISH.  We were able to actually teach him to play (by the rules!) and with his beginner's luck, he really did win every single game.  Nothing beats hearing him say (with those killer rolled "r"'s), "Regan, do you have dis one?"  as he holds up what he's wanting a match for.  The only thing that beats the GO FISH domination, are his dance party skills.  Brycen and Regan have taught him a line from the movie, "Despicable Me" where Vector says, "I am Vector, I commit crimes with force and magnitude" ( or something like that).  Then it's followed with a loud, "Oh, Yeah!" while doing this little dance that involves hips, hands, and thrusts.  AND IT IS HILARIOUS because Tyson gets so tickled by the time he gets to 'magnitude' it takes all he's got to say "Oh, yeah" and actually do the motions.  He laughs for days.
He has pushed our rolling luggage all of the room with his "motors" on top and we've played hide-and-seek, and he got a shower because, well, all the dancing caused all the sweating.  He is sound asleep in the bed beside Regan with his "Mr. Clutch" t-shirt and comfy pants on, covered up in white sheets and a white comforter looking so cozy.  And, smelling so good.  Between his cocoa butter lotion and his hair milk, I am not sure which smells the best, his arms or his hair.  He had a fun, action-packed day that ended with the feature selection this evening being "Home."  Which, is where we are wanting to go, ASAP.  I will keep you posted on what we hear from the kebele tomorrow.
Our hearts are overflowing with gratitude for this opportunity and these people.  But we miss our people.  Thank you for walking with us and for encouraging us so much while we are away.  It means so much to us.  I am off to bed!  Tomorrow is supposed to be a guesthouse day, unless we end up going to kebele in the afternoon.
Hugs from Addis....

Until WE'RE home,
carrie

Names

Good afternoon!!  It's past my bedtime in Addis. I fell asleep during tonight's movie (Zootopia) as did Asnake!  So, I may be a bit shorter today as I fight back sleep.  We started the day with snuggles in bed!  This was the first morning Asnake has come into our "room" (it's one big room, but two large closets act to divide our space for the kids' space) and crawled into bed between us!  SO FUN.
We played together this morning before church, but right now all I can remember doing was watching him write his abc's.  Also, when I put his clothes on him today, I put him in a shirt he got for his birthday last year from the McAffry's  that simply says, "dude," in black font on a gray t-shirt.  I told him, "This is from Johnny's family for  you."  His instant reply (in English), "Johnny in America.  I see him soon."  (hi, Sarah!).  Then, we made our way down for waffles for breakfast.  I'm sure by now you can guess what Asnake ended up eating... a banana.  Can't sweat the small stuff.
At 10:45 this  morning, Mengistu came to pick us up for church.  We went back to IEC (same as last week).  As we all squeezed into our row and took our seats it was the first time I realized we were at church with Asnake for the very first time.  We thought going into it that it was likely his first church experience, but Mengistu asked him and he might've gone a few other times.  I was trying not to cry at the mere thought of being at church with him, but he was perched between Mark and me and about the time I started to think too much about it, the music started.  All was fine and good until song 4.  Y'all.  I literally can't make this stuff up.  "Good, Good Father" started and we all sat there looking at each other with our mouths open... seriously?  Of all the songs on all  the days.  God IS SO in the details.  It was THE sweetest thing to watch his eyes stop from looking around the room and taking it all in to being totally focused on the music and singing.  It was a sweet gift.
We headed to a place called, "Rodeo" for lunch.  I have tried numerous times today to upload a video of Asnake riding one of those front-of-the-supermarket horses.  Maybe it will eventually work.  He loved it.  On the way to lunch, though, we were all discussing the message as it had been on generosity and giving.  It was a powerful morning to hear the faithfulness of God recounted (again) when we simply learn to live with a open hands, even if we are in poverty (as noted in 2 Corinthians 8).  One of the dads in the van reminded us of how yesterday some of the older girls at Asnake's orphanage made us (Mark, me, Brycen, and Regan) bead bracelets and hand-written small notes that said, "I love you," as a way to tell us how grateful they were that Asnake had a family.  Generosity in poverty.  It's a powerful thing.  And, the red, green, and yellow beaded bracelet still on my arm is a tangible reminder. I will treasure it forever.
At Rodeo, we ate lunch....Asnake got a fire-roasted pizza, Brycen and I stuck with chicken stir fry, Mark got a steak (don't think American steak), and Regan went with usual, simple dish of rice and chicken.  It was all delicious and it turns out Asnake ate pizza leftovers for dinner tonight and saved two pieces, "for tomorrow, please." As we ate at the restaurant Mark as Mengistu if today would be a good day to discuss with Asnake about his name change.  We weren't sure if we would just introduce it and then gradually ease into it by calling him "Tyson Asnake" for a while, but we knew after a more formal conversation with Asnake about it the best way would be clear.
So, when we returned to the guesthouse Brycen and Regan came on up to our room and we stayed with Mengistu and Asnake in the living room.  I sat in an oversized black leather chair with Asnake, holding hands.  Mark sat across from us in a relocated dining room chair while Mengistu sat beside Asnake on a black leather couch whose arm touches the arm of the chair we were in.  Mengistu asked us if we wanted to tell him and Mengistu would translate, or if we wanted Mengistu to just do the talking.  Mark was gracious to explain our reasons for wanting to change his name (apart from the fact that the spelling of his name makes life in America a bit more challenging).  So, he explained that first of all, all of our kids' names end in the letter 'n.'  Mengistu had Asnake say each of their names and let him hear it outloud.  Next, Mark explained that many times in the Bible when God changed someone's life in a profound way, He gave them a new name.  So, Mengistu with all grace and compassion, holding Asnake's other hand the entire time, explained all of that and then looked up at us and said, "can I tell him his new name?"  We nodded that he could.  When Mengistu said, "Tyson, " Asnake looked up and smiled and said, "That's a nice name."  We wanted him to know we weren't taking his Ethiopian, African name away, we were simply adding to it an American name.  He is, after all, African American in the truest sense of the word.  We also had Mengistu tell him that we would still call him Akuye sometimes, too (this is his preferred name).  So, we asked Asnake, "do you want us to call you 'Tyson Asnake' or just 'Tyson'?"  Without delay, "Just Tyson.  No Asnake."

So, there you have it.  He now knows he is Tyson.

It would be stretching it to say he knows who "Tyson McKeehan" is, seeing as how he didn't even know our first names yesterday and in Ethiopia they don't have last names.  But, my motto all week has been: you can't fight every battle on day 1 or week 1.  We will fill him in on our family name later!  As for now, we spent the rest of the evening calling him "Tyson" and he answered and responded like he had known it for years.  Sigh.  So many pieces coming together.  So many things I have pondered on and prayed over the last several years that the Lord is fleshing out in these days.  And, He's doing it extravagantly.  Mengistu was kind to let us know that when he told Tyson he had something to talk to him about, even at 5 years old, he sat there making eye contact and knew it was something to take it.  We are grateful and asked Tyson if he had any questions or reservations about the whole thing.  He said he didn't and life went on.

Dude.  Your name just changed.

It literally didn't seem to phase him.  He has played cards with us, used the best manners today saying, "please" and "thank you" and "families stick together" while waiting on us when it was obvious we weren't moving quite fast enough.  At one point today after a mean game of Crazy 8's downstairs with Tyson and Regan, we were all walking up the steps and Regan tripped.  It was like slow motion watching the Captain Crunch berries fly out of the bowl in her hand while she tumbled.  Ty and I were just a few steps ahead of her, but he was to her aide in a millisecond.  Helping her clean up her mess and saying (with his adorable rolled 'r's), "Regan, are you ok?  I get it."  His heart is kind.  And his mind is tall.  The name change didn't change any of those things.
We spent the evening (after eating and cards) having some massive dance parties in our room.  The older kids taught Tyson how to dab.  Hysterical.  We  they jumped around for an hour or more dancing and singing and teaching each other things. Oh the giggles.   Then, Tyson got a shower and chose "zootopia" for the before bed movie.  He fell asleep during it (again) as did I!  But, he's sound asleep in his bed now.

The plan for tomorrow is for us to do some cultural training at Bethany and to get an update on the plan for the Kebele.  We are thinking if there is still no movement on adoption certificates by Thursday (after we have gone there in person early in the week) we will involve the US Embassy since we are his parents and we are US citizens "stuck" in this country unnecessarily.  Praying it won't come to that and that tomorrow morning they will open and use us a guinea pig to print the very first adoption certificate.  I will keep you posted on what we hear!

Grateful to have you along each day!  More tomorrow!
Chow, from Addis Ababa!!

Until WE'RE home,
carrie

Breakthrough

It's 9:30pm here in Addis Ababa and we are trying to figure out how to watch listen to the UT game that won't even start for FIVE MORE HOURS.  It'll be 2:30am for us, but we feel fairly confident we should at least be able to listen somehow.  Before I get started about our day, here are three words: GO BIG ORANGE.  Enough on that....
Our day started out beautifully.  As I woke at 6am (my standard Africa wake time.  NOT my standard America wake time), I was thinking and praying about yesterday.  Our breakdown breakthrough yesterday was such a blessing.  While we are still here with interpreters and house staff who love adore Asnake, it is a blessing to have them helping us in these early days.  Knowing there would certainly be transitions that are hard on all of us, we feel grateful to have yesterday behind us.  Here is what the breakthrough taught Asnake:  we are going to love him no matter what.  Even when he is disobedient, disrespectful, or shuts down.  We aren't going anywhere and we aren't taking him anywhere.  It's ok to be sad and we are a safe place to say that.  Here is what it taught me:  We will survive.  We can have moments in days that are hard, but those moments don't make the whole day bad.  We can communicate and everyone walk away feeling more confident than before that we are family and we are glad about it. It wasn't a breakdown.  It was a breakthrough.
So, that is how my thoughts started today as the beautiful sunrise came up through our huge picture window on the wall opposite our bed.  It's quite a view.  One I won't soon ever forget.  Literally every morning it takes my breath away.  I tried to quietly get up and run to the bathroom and as I walked back through the room, I saw the cutest brown eyes open and making eye contact with me.  We both smiled to be starting our day with each other.  I snuggled him up in his a bed a few minutes, while his eyes were still glassy with sleep.  A few minutes later, he was up and ready to get put on his clothes.  He chose his outfit today (SO CUTE) and grabbed his socks and shoes.  Next, he brushed his teeth and we put hair milk in his hair.  When he has that in his hair everyone wants to eat him up because it smells SO GOOD.  He was ready to go by 7am and he sat playing with "motors" and stickers until breakfast at 7:45am.  TODAY WE HAD DONUTS for breakfast.. homemade, gluten-free donuts.  SO GOOD, but Asnake doesn't (obviously) prefer sweets for breakfast.  And, when I showed him the alternative breakfast of oatmeal, he nearly screamed, "NO."  I think it must've been what he ate every morning of his life until last Wednesday morning.  He's over it.  I can't blame him. So bananas is was.  again.
We had big plans for the day and they got started at 9am. Mengistu arrived and we all piled into the big (SUPER NICE) van.  We had to upgrade because another family arrived yesterday with their two biological children (both older teens).  So, with us, them, and the couple that has been here all week, we had a big van full.  We were heading out to Africa's largest market.  Y'all. THIS PLACE IS CRAZY.  Much of the market has recently been deemed not safe for foreigners to explore alone due to so much theft.  However, we (as in Mark and me and Mengistu) exited once to enter one small tent to look at some baskets I had wanted.  The young girl working was willing to cut us a deal while also making a profit, so MOMMA DID SOME CHRISTMAS SHOPPING.  We hauled it all back to the van and kept driving.  I wish I could adequately express to you HOW MASSIVE this place was.  Miles and miles and miles.  You can google it and get the exact dimensions I am sure, but suffice it to say it took us at least 45 minutes to drive it....give or take a few minutes for the cows, donkeys, and horses to get out of our way in the street.  I love Ethiopia.
Next, we made a few stops along the way at a sports store.  Brycen has his heart set on an Ethiopian track suit (jacket and pants).  We have found what he wants, but Mengistu is dead set on getting him the best price since Bry is using "his own" money to buy it.  After that, we drove to a place where women make scarves.  The women working in the dark, cool, "workshop" were once working carrying huge bundles of wood on their backs down (or up) mountains.  They knew the more they could carry, the more money they could make.  These bundles weigh hundreds of pounds and we have seem countless women still performing this laborious task. Every. single. day.  Older women and younger women.  So, a lady came and visited Ethiopia a few years ago and noticed this back-breaking job.  She allowed some of the women the opportunity to learn to make scarves as a way to earn money instead.  The workshop is full of looms and the work is tedious and repetitive, but it's not in the sun and it's not killing their bodies.  This was an eye-opening stop for us all.
After that, we went to a local market to try to collect some pieces for our traditional coffee ceremony kit for our house.  Nothing says Ethiopia like a coffee ceremony.  So, Mengistu started us out at street level in this market.  We meandered through until we found part of what we were looking for.  But, he wasn't pleased with all of it so he asked if anyone else in the market sold what we were looking for.  They pointed down.  It was the first time I realized the market extended DOWN THE MOUNTAIN.  We were able to use steps hewn out of the rock of the side of the mountain to tumble walk down to where the "kitchen store" was.  All along the way we continued to draw a crowd.  We were a lot of white people at once and for this market, that was unusual from what we learned.  Like, the police came to watch us by the time we arrived at the "kitchen tent."  We found some of what we needed, but not all. Mengistu was dead set on finding it all, but I assured him since we were 14 miles a long way from the van, that we could certainly look for the rest another day.  And, besides, our donuts were LONG GONE.
So, we all piled back into the van and off we went to Sishu... the same burger and fries place we took Asnake to the first day we were able to take him out of the orphanage.  It was packed (it's Saturday) and we had a larger party, but it was all great.  Throughout the LONG car rides, Asnake was in my lap or Mark's lap by the window (of course).  It was on these long rides that I realized that Asnake hums or sings all the time.  Now, this may not sound like a big deal to you, but this is a normal conversation at our house (some of you KNOW this is true):
Me: hey Babe.  Can you be quiet for just a second while I listen to this?
Mark: Oh.  Was I making noise?
Me: Yes.  you are always making noise.
Now... I don't typically mind Mark's hums or singing at all, but on occasion I NEED IT QUIET.  So, to see Asnake do the same thing brought tears to my eyes.  God knew when He was knitting this sweet boy together in his birth mom's womb that he would be in our family.  And, he hums and sings constantly, just like his dad.  He sang "Good, Good Father" a blue zillion times and it was the sweetest sound.  I am sure if it sounded sweet to me, it had to be a sweet, sweet sound to Jesus.
Oh! And while we were at Sishu, we all drank out of glass bottles and Asnake learned to make his a whistle.  This isn't a really big deal, but when his world opens up in the smallest ways and SHEER DELIGHT covers his face, I can't help but take notice.
We have known the past two days, especially, that Asnake is imitating everything he sees (good and  bad).  This morning Mark said, "You are my baby," and Asnake repeated it back to him.  We all laughed. Then, when Mengistu heard him do it he whispered something to him and then when Mark said, "you are my baby," Asnake replied, "you are my daddy."  And then I died.  Again.
You all will think this is funny... the ladies that work at the guesthouse are amazing.  They love on us and on him and serve us so well.  Tonight after dinner one of them said, "Asnake, what is your mom's name?"  He looked at her so funny, raised his little hands with his palms up, and said, "Um. Mommy!"  Like, how could you not know?  That's when I realized he didn't know we had other names!  So, now he knows (hopefully) that I am Carrie and his dad is Mark.  SO CUTE.
After Sishu and playing music with our glass bottles we headed to Kaldi's for "buna."  Asnake ate every bite of his lunch (an adult meal) and when we got to Kaldi's he seemed relieved to know he didn't have to get something.  It was so funny. We all sat, getting to know one another and then we decided to head back.
While we were at Kaldi's Mengistu mentioned something to me that he had shared with Mark last night.  I will try to type it without crying, but if I do, you won't know it anyway!  Apparently at Asnake's original orphanage there had been a girl older than him (quite a bit older, like 10 years older).  She apparently read to him when he was a baby and toddler and was the one who looked after him.  Mengistu told me today, "She was the first one to ever read him the Bible or tell him about the bible."  Apparently, she heard through the infamous grapevine that Asnake had left with his family and her nannie called Mengistu saying this sweet girl was so upset thinking he had already left for America without a chance to say good-bye.  I was sitting in Kaldi's with my mouth gaped open and tears hot in my eyes.  Mengistu asked, "Do you think it would be ok if we took Asnake to see her before you go."  YES.  I want to hug her, kiss her, and tell her SHE TOOK PERFECT CARE OF HIM.  She told Mengistu he is the closest thing to a brother she has ever had.  OH MY GOODNESS. These kids look after one another and become family....brothers and sisters.  So, we have plans to go to her orphanage next week so they can see each other again (it's been since Oct 2014) and we can take 7,000 pictures make memories with her that will last a lifetime.
We came back to the guesthouse after Kaldi's and had a couple of hours to sit and relax.  I don't know what it is about sitting in traffic a van for hours, but it wears me out!  The boys played a bit more football inside and then a serious game of hide-and-seek.  Nothing slays me like hearing Asnake say, "Mom, Dad, you go here and close your eyes.  Then, count."  Got it.  Then, he hides and find him and he giggles to no end.  Then, we repeat it 72 times.  Or, we throw his t-shirt at each other when he takes it off and roll our r's while it's in the air.  I don't know why it is so funny, but apparently it is HYSTERICAL... especially when the t-shirt accidentally lands on the top of our (tall) closet and Asnake is searching for it everywhere.  When he finally spotted it, he fell back on our bed laughing SO hard.  We FaceTimed a few friends and talked to Corbin and Hudson.  They had big weekend plans and seemed to be doing just great (in other news, Corbin passed his 5 minute multiplication test this week and we all WENT NUTS.  Because, that is, after all,  kind of like winning a noble peace prize).
At 5:30pm we headed downstairs to dinner and discovered Asnake isn't a big fan of super spicy food. They ladies here spoil adore him and made him injera with I-don't-know-what, but it was red with berbere (Ethiopia's staple spice).  We had an entirely different meal than him.  The entire time we eat everyone at the guesthouse table was tickled because we could here him breathing hard and drinking trying to get the heat out of his mouth with every single bite.  It was the cutest thing.  Just after dinner, the adults were all sitting around the dinner table talking and the family who leaves tomorrow to fly north to meet their three new children, were confessing they were anxious (UNDERSTATEMENT).  Who wouldn't be?  But, we all grabbed hands spontaneously and started praying for them, for their three kids, and for their family (they are the ones with their 2 biological teenagers here).  This road has been beautiful and it has been long... they get it.  And, the excitement you feel meeting your child for the first time (just like in pregnancy) is enough to make you lose sleep.  But language barriers, culture shock, unknown or unrealistic expectations, and undoing institutionalized care IS NO JOKE.  TIMES THREE.  We reminded them of the truth of the scriptures... that they are equipped for what God has called them to and it's going to be overwhelming.  And beautiful. And hard.  And rewarding.  There were so many times in our wait I couldn't understand what God was up to.  I often confessed to Him that I know He owed us no explanation for why the wait was so long, but if He could give us a glimpse, I would be forever grateful.  Hand-in-hand around that table, He whispered to me, "THIS WAS PART OF THE WAIT."  This exact group of people, in this exact season, at this exact guesthouse, going through the exact same emotions.  Turns out, yesterday wasn't the only one.... I was able to thank Him for that clarity and that

breakthrough.

He is so trustworthy and kind.  Even when the way seems lost and the light is dim.  Even when we are overwhelmed with uncertainty or unsure of what He is doing...
Yesterday a friend of mind (looking at you, Angie Tyner) posted a photo on Instagram of her margin in her bible at Psalm 77:19, "Your way was through the sea, Your path through the great waters, yet your footprints were unseen." In her margin she had written this:
Your road led THROUGH the sea, Your pathway THROUGH the mighty waters, a pathway no one knew was there.
And my eyes immediately filled with tears.  HE IS THE WAY-MAKER.  His path was unseen by us, but all along, HE KNEW THE WAY.  It's easier to go around or give up when it seems impossible.  It's something altogether different when we lean in, hold on, and watch Him MAKE A WAY.

I am just loving this place of sitting back, resting in His promises, taking Him at His word and watching him

BREAK THROUGH.

Praise You, Jesus.

Until WE'RE home,
carrie

breakdown

Hello from Addis Ababa!  We are 10 days in and finally starting to get into a rhythm with Africa life. Everyone slept until 8am, so that was a great start to the day.  We woke and headed straight down to breakfast... Brycen was even still sporting his bed head at the breakfast table.  Breakfast today was crustless quiche and it was delicious.  I don't normally eat eggs, but today I made an exception... they had spinach in them and they were delicious.  Since we didn't have plans to go out today, we came back up to the room and played some games.  We played "uno," but when Asnake plays Uno, all we really do is divide the cards up somewhat evenly among all the players and we each lay a card down in a pile when it's our turn.  It's really not a game, but he thinks it is and he gets to win every time.  Another family arrived at the guesthouse who are also staying for one trip.  They are adopting a sibling group of three and they brought their two biological children (both teenagers) with them.  So, we spent some of the morning out getting to know them.  The guesthouse was so quiet our first week since we were the only ones here.  It has livened up and we welcome the company!
After Uno, we did some English and math, played with blocks, and gave Asnake M&M's.  I am not sure if he had ever had them before, but he seemed to enjoy them very much.  Mark played "tackle" football with Asnake in our room and got tons of giggles.  Asnake also watched VeggieTales and Thomas the Train videos from the guesthouse today!  Lunch was ready, as usual, at noon and today the meal CRAZY GOOD.  We had a veggie mix of cucumber, tomatoes, onions, and avocados with an avocado dressing of some sort.  There was another veggie combo of zucchini and cauliflower that had been cooked and we had a choice of pasta or rice with it.  There was also chocolate cake... Asnake did NOT miss that!  It was all AMAZING and we stayed in the dining room chatting with the other families for a long time while Asnake played with some baby toys that are in the living room for another family that is here with a one year old.
After the lunch festivities, we headed back upstairs and then decided to go play outside.  So, all 5 o us went outside and kicked around a soccer ball.  At one point, Asnake said to Mark (in English), "Dad, can we go upstairs?  Families stick together."  This nearly made me cry, because the book I am re-reading ("The Connected Child"), says to teach this saying when children have a tendency to run ahead of their parents or not stay with their parents.  I started saying it to him day before yesterday whenever he would start to walk out of the room without one of us or when he would get too far ahead going up or down stairs.  Turns out, it works!  And, his English is so good! Then, we gave him his iPod to play with for a designated amount of time (the iPod he has had every day, but today he didn't want to put it down, so we made time limits).  He struggled being patient while games loaded and he struggled by telling us "no" when we asked him to be all done (and we had given him time warnings in advance that his time was almost up).  Finally, Mark got firm (without yelling) and took the iPod away.  Asnake withdrew and went to sit in front of the bathroom door alone.  I went over and offered other suggestions of things for him to do, but he remained quiet.  I finally reached for him, put him on my lap, and for the first time, felt a tear on my shirt.  His tears were quiet and my heart broke, but I knew we had to be consistent in establishing we are the authority and we make the rules.  I was so grateful that during his breakdown, he allowed us to hold him and kiss him.  He hid his face a few times, trying to keep us from seeing his tears.  I repeatedly told him it was ok to be sad or angry, but it wasn't ok to be disrespectful.  All of this happened around 5 and I knew Mengistu was coming back around 5:30pm.  The majority of the 30 minutes we sat holding him in silence.  This is just all a lot to process for us all.  Mengistu has repeatedly told us to let him know if/when we need him for these types of things.  Brycen and Regan decided to hang out in the lobby to wait for dinner, so about 5:20pm we had a knock at our door.... Mengistu.  Regan had informed him we might need him.  And, we did.  He came in and when Asnake saw him, his tears really fell.  Mengistu asked if he missed his friends.  He answered, "no."  So, Mengistu went on to explain to Asnake that we, as his parents, set the rules, and the way we do that is by telling him "no" sometimes.  I don't know everything he told him because I couldn't understand it all.  I do know Asnake hung on his every word and in just a couple of minutes, he was smiling again, sitting on our laps, and Mengistu said, "He wants to learn to the right thing.  He says he wants to."  So, we explained to Asnake (through Mengistu) that we are learning, too.  It's just all new for all of us.  We assured him we loved him all the time, no matter what, forever.  Mengistu was wise to remind us that in Asnake's particular orphanage, there were lots of "white" visitors and missionaries who would come to visit.  So, when "white people" came, they brought donations and candy and the kids knew they could get what they wanted.  It's so sad, but it's so true.  So, it's a hard transition to go into a "white" family and then, all of a sudden, you are told "no" and boundaries are set.  It was a great reminder of what, perhaps, Asnake's expectations might be.  We know our own expectations, but to think about what his expectations might be was a good thing.
After Mengistu's encouragement to us that this is all "normal" (which we knew, but the reminder is good), it was time for dinner.  PIZZA.  We even had GF pizza.  We had made plans walking down the steps to dinner that the plan would be (remember holding up fingers for each one?) dinner (1), iPod time (2), shower (3), movie (4).  And, he had already picked out "Toy Story," for tonight's featured selection.  So, that was the plan and we stuck to it! After dinner, Mark and Asnake opened a window downstairs and watched the birds.  They made bird sounds and tried to (pretend) to catch birds out the window.  It was funny and full of giggles.
In way of paperwork today, we did find out our agency is waiting on a letter for the kebele (I don't know from who, but I think court).  Once they receive that letter, we will take the letter and our court decree to the kebele with our attorney's in order to try to get them printing what we need.  Having a plan is good.. so, let's continue to pray they print the adoption certificate one way or the other.  I prefer the "just do it because it's the right thing to do" approach rather than the "let us threaten you or try to intimidate you into it" approach.  But, at this point, I think, "Whatever works."  We are really hoping we could maybe do that Monday, Tuesday at the latest.
The kids were ready for bed as soon as the feature presentation was over tonight and they all fell asleep in less than 5 minutes.  Tomorrow we will head out around 9am for a trip to the largest market in Addis.  So, it'll be a shopping day and then out to lunch.  Your prayers for us are a gift and we are praying for "our people."  I am so thankful God hears and knows and continues to unite and knit our hearts together from 8500 miles away.  He isn't intimidated by our distance, our needs, or our breakdowns.  For that, I am so grateful!!


Until WE'RE home,
Carrie

Today

Today was fun!  Asnake slept until 7am (hip! hip! hooray!).  We were dressed and ready by the time breakfast was ready in the lobby at 7:45am.  Today was pancakes, syrup, toast, & bananas.  When we first arrived, the sweet lady who showed us around and checked us in, asked if we had any food allergies or preferences, like being gluten-free.  I wasn't expecting that...so we told her 3 of us didn't eat gluten and they have made us great gluten-free meals.  They even make us GF pancakes!!  And we love them.  Well, all of us except Asnake.  Ethiopian food is all eaten with your fingers (no utensils), so we think he didn't want it after he put syrup ALL OVER on it.  The idea of eating a "bread" with a fork wasn't appealing, so he ate three bananas and called it breakfast.  His potassium should be good and intact.  His blood sugar, a whole other thing.
We knew the plan was for Mengistu to pick us up at 10:30am for a day out having fun.  So, everyone finished getting ready, Brycen and Regan did schoolwork, and Asnake played soccer, listened to music, and popped green balloons after he has been playing with them for 3 or 4 days (he loved blowing them up).  He laughed and laughed about popping them.
We headed down to the lobby to meet Mengistu and the other family that is here (the ones who just met their daughter on Tuesday).  We headed out to what Mengistu called "an indoor games place."  I had NO IDEA.  We walked in with mouths gaped open.  It's like THE nicest arcade I have EVER seen.  Games galore. Bumper cars. Merry Go Round.  Slides and climbing area.  SKEE BALL.  Air Hockey.  And, if you are really bored, you can head on upstairs to the 7D movie theater.  We have NO IDEA how you can have a 7D movie, but it makes America seem behind the times.  We walked through at first, trying to get an idea about Asnake might want to play.  After we made one full walk through, he knew: Bumper Cars.  So, we grabbed tickets for Bry, Regan, and Asnake to ride.  Turns out he needed an adult to ride with him, so Mengistu hopped in.  HIS SMILE WAS HUGE the entire time.  He loved it.
Next, he rode his very first Merry Go Round.  These are things that make me tear up.  The small things.  Watching him (the only one riding the ride) on the Merry Go Round, looking around smiling trying to take it all in.  Then, he played Skee ball (McKeehan through and through.  That's his momma's favorite).  He won 4 tickets and we all acted a fool over it, like he had won a gold medal.  Finally, he rode a airplane game and a racing game.  As we were heading out, Mengistu had a shoot out in basketball with Brycen (winner: Brycen).  With only 2 tokens left, Asnake and Regan went head-to-head in air hockey.  So many firsts today.  He had the most fun!
After playing, we headed across the street to the In-N-Out Burger.  Yes, it's a copyright infraction.  No, it's not THE In-N-Out Burger. But, it was lunch and if we had videoed the man taking our order trying to figure out "a burger with no bread" we could've won something. HILARIOUS.  They didn't even have forks anywhere in the restaurant because... well, it's a burger and chicken place.  Next, we headed into Shoa (remember, "Wal-Mart"?) for a few snacks to keep in our room for Asnake and we stopped by a local coffee shop to get some bags of coffee to bring home.  Which reminds me, after lunch, we made another swing by Kaldi's for "chai," "buna," and ice cream.  Asnake had chai, as did Brycen, Mark and I stuck with caramel macchiatos, and Regan pulled it home with strawberry ice cream in a cup.
We returned to the guesthouse around 3:30.  Asnake and I played with blocks and Regan & Mark joined us for a game of Uno.  We looked at pictures of familiar friends at home trying to memorize names and played with "motors." Next, Asnake sat in the floor in front of my chair and we watched "The Letter Factory" while I rubbed his head and he fought sleep HARD. Then, it was time for dinner! We ate spaghetti (they made ours with rice and it was good!).  After dinner we played around and read books, then changed into pajamas, and we all piled up on our bed and watched "Despicable Me."  During the movie Asnake fell asleep.  He is sound asleep after a fun, full day.  He used a lot of English today and is still doing SO well.  He listens and obeys remarkably well and still hasn't found anything to cry about.
I did want to share with you that we have received our Adoption Decree (this is the formal paper indicating we "passed court" on Tuesday).  This document is required before we can file for a birth certificate.  Today, we found out the kebele (government office in charge of printing adoption certificates because they no longer print birth certificates for adoption cases).  This change (of printing adoption certificates vs birth certificates) is brand new... they haven't even implemented it, but have been training using the "new computer system" for 10 or 11 weeks.  Granted, court was closed and they haven't had a need for it, but court is now open and WE NEED THEM TO PRINT THESE DOCUMENTS.  They continue to say they aren't familiar enough with the program to do them, but multiple families have had court since us this week, so the need for them is there.  We are hoping to go to the kebele tomorrow or Monday if there isn't any movement by then.  Then, if we have to involve the US Embassy since we are Asnake's legal parents, we will do that.  The birth certificate is required to get the next step: passport.  Without the passport, we can't do his Visa Medical Exam, or get a US Embassy appointment.  After the US Embassy appointment WE COME HOME.  Each of these documents will take about 3 business days, so this process isn't super fast.  And, it's all dependent on the kebele printing his  adoption certificate.  If you would, we be be honored, humbled, and grateful for your prayers specifically for the officials responsible for printing this document.  We have seen your prayers work this week in at least a million ways.  Even Mengistu says, "your prayers are close to God, He answers you."  We know it's a collection of prayers from believers who know we can ask God to move mountains, part seas, and bring a boy home.  I know our prayers won't go unheard or unanswered.  I will keep you posted on what we hear tomorrow.  If there is no change in the kebele's response tomorrow, Monday we will push them from a different angle.
I am off to bed while you are working or in school.  Tomorrow is another day at the guesthouse unless we decide to go somewhere in the afternoon.  Thank you for continuing along with us....

until WE'RE home,
carrie

LifeBook

It's nearing 9pm and we have had a relaxing day in the guesthouse all day.  Our agency planned us an "off day" since it's our first full day with Asnake (we don't call him Tyson yet.  So it's either Akuye or Asnake for now).  He woke at 6am and I hardly slept.  I kept waking, walking to his bed, and looking to make sure he really was here, with us.  So, when he started to stir this morning, I went right over, crawled into his bed and we told each other "good morning."  He got up and then I finally encouraged him to get into our bed between us for a few minutes (I mean IT'S 6am).  It was super sweet, but in about 5 minutes he said, "Mom, wake up!"  He climbed out of bed and pointed to the clothes he wanted to wear today.  Turns out it was his "officially a McKeehan" shirt made by his cousin, Megan.  He wanted jeans and black high-tops.  As I have noted before, he is very disciplined...he brushes his teeth, washes his face, and lotions himself without having to be told.  By 7:10 this morning we were outside kicking a soccer ball.  It was chilly, so just after going out, he said, "Mom, spiderman jacket, please."  So, off I went back upstairs.  By the time I got back down with the jacket, he had grabbed Mark's coffee and was wearing part of it on his new shirt.  SO, back up to the 2nd floor to change (thankfully, I soaked it immediately with detergent in our kitchenette sink and it all came out! Thankful for washing my hand experience in Haiti).  This time, he chose a neon orange superman shirt.  By then, it was breakfast time and he ate toast, but didn't really eat any of his eggs. Noted.

The rest of the day involved playing games, building with blocks, playing cards with Regan, working on English and math, watching movies, and listening to music on his iPod.  The day seemed longer than the others, just because it started so early, but also because we didn't have plans to go anywhere. Being here all day brought out a few of the expected issues with testing boundaries, but learning to be in a family will do that.  He can't know what a family is all about without testing boundaries to know how our particular family works.  Overall, today went better than expected, as we had prepared ourselves for tears or meltdowns or defiance, which are all normal and common at this phase.  So far he hasn't cried the first tear in our care.  He giggles a lot (right now as a matter of fact!).  He obeys for the most part and really is (seeming) to want to figure out what it's about to be a McKeehan. For lunch he ate leftover injera and tibs (traditional Ethiopian dish) from our take-out last night.  After lunch we tried to get him to nap (which on days with no school he was used to), but he never fell asleep.  He did stay quietly in his bed, but he was distracted by his blue flashlight and the fact that Brycen and Regan were downstairs in the living room playing.  You can't win all the battles on day 1.  But, we made progress on several things and now we say, "families stick together" so he knows to stay close to one of us without running ahead of us.  
After "nap time," we went to the living room/dining room area of the guesthouse.  It's open and large and we played cards and kicked around a small soccer ball.  He worked a puzzle with Mark and sang (in English) "Good, Good Father" spontaneously all day long.  Then, we came up and worked on English and math.  He already knows how to count to 20 in English and recognizes all those numbers.  His handwriting is quite good and he is eager to learn.  He identified (in English) fish, cats, cows, flowers, lions, many zoo animals, all the shapes, colors, alphabet, and numbers.  Yes, he's a genius.
When dinner rolled around, I made his plate and set it on the table and quickly realized he either doesn't like rice, or he didn't want any tonight.  No big deal, that plate became my plate and we all live to see another day.  While we were walking down the stairs to dinner he held up his fingers (like I do to him when I am explaining his choices or what we are going to be doing.  Thank you, Karen Purvis for being BRILLIANT in regards to to bonding, helping prevent meltdowns, etc.  Her curriculum for adoptive parents has been a lifesaver).  Anyway, he held up one finger and said, "Mom, after we eat, shower, and then (now holding up two fingers), pajamas and movie."  I agreed because it sounded like a fantastic plan to me.  I know showers for him everyday aren't good (for his hair and skin), but when your first warm shower of your life was yesterday am I going to prevent you from having another one today. Um, NO.  So, here we went again... I helped give him his shower again and with less tears in my eyes I was able to take note of things I didn't know.  Like, he has a birthmark on his chest and an "innie" belly button, things I haven't known until today.  He wants to wear a t-shirt under his pajama shirt and he loves having lotion all over (something he didn't have often at the orphanage).  Finding out these things contributed to my persist thoughts about his birth mom today. More on that later.
If we counted right, he brushed his teeth 5 times today.  I figure there are way worse things he could've done today, so we gave him a resounding, "Gobez" every time.
After he was all clean and wearing his cozy pajamas, something super fun happened.  I can't put my finger on what it was exactly, but it's like he just realized that it was now or never... he had a normal body function happen.  Loudly.  We all busted out laughing!!  And from then on it was giggles upon giggles.  He had Brycen and Regan laughing and they had him laughing so hard he couldn't catch his breath.  It was sheer joy to sit back and watch it unfold right before my eyes.  And the sounds of their playing and laughter together is nearly more than I can handle.  As of now, he and Brycen are both in his bed.  He's fast asleep and Brycen, like the rest of us, can't take his eyes off of him.  It's just so tender to me to see.
As the day progressed, and I watched this handsome, smart, courteous, funny personality come out, I couldn't help but to be drawn back into this past Monday night.  I mentioned that while we were at court orientation, Meselu gave us Asnake's LifeBook DVD.  I left the details of it out on purpose that night.  I just couldn't quite process it yet.  As the days have passed and I have thought back over the contents of the video, I wanted to share some of it with you.  A LifeBook DVD is made by our agency and includes all the videos of birth family that have been done throughout  his adoption process (there are many investigations by both governments to ensure consistency and that his story is the truth).  The video starts out so benign with general information regarding Ethiopia as a whole.  Then, Meselu's voice begins talking specifically to Asnake.  It changes from stock photos online to a video of driving down a narrow, rural countryside road.  And Meselu explains that this is the town and road Asnake's birth mom lives on.  About that time, the camera shows a young, beautiful woman walking toward a gate.  And, she took my breath away.  He looks exactly like her.  She entered that small gate and we learned this is where she lives and works.  She is a maid in a town close to where she grew up.  She is able to work and live there.  Right now, she is going to school (she's in 7th grade now, but in her 20's).  We did learn her actual age when he was born, something we had only guessed about by looking at photos and reading his story.  I am going to leave much of the details of that part out.  Ultimately, this is his story to tell and I want to respect that.  But, the interviewer asked her SO MANY QUESTIONS.  Ones I may have never thought to ask, but I am so grateful to have her answers.  Guess what?  He was born on a Sunday night at 8pm after a beautiful sunny day.  These are the details few children get in international adoption and one of the reasons in Ethiopia it takes so long to adopt right now.  These types of interviews and investigations are TRYING to prevent trafficking and agencies from paying moms for their babies so the agency can profit (yes it happens all over the world).  So, I am forever grateful to have her answers.  TO SEE HER FACE.  Y'all.  It was more than Mark and I could take.  We weren't sure what to expect when we put that DVD in, but I know it exceeded every exception I had.  She described him as a baby and said he cried a lot, but she went on to say, "but because I was so young, I didn't really know what to do for him."  She described her family and siblings and the fact that her dad passed away when she was a child, leaving her mom as a widow farmer unable to make enough to send her to school as a child.  So, now that she is old enough to work (and has been working in this capacity since she was 15), she works to pay for herself to go to school while also working full-time.  HOW AMAZING IS SHE?  She described making the decision to relinquish him and who was with her.  All along we thought he was 3 months old.  Turns out, he was 6 months old.  A momma doesn't forget.
The interviews went on to include interviews with Asnake's maternal grandmother... a beautiful woman who appears to have lived a hard-working life.  They (she and two of her children) live on a farm her husband ran, but since she is widowed she has a job cleaning streets to try to make enough to eat.  There were videos of his maternal uncle and confirmation that he has a maternal aunt as well.  It is such a gift to us.  Perhaps the part for us that was the most unexpected and tender was when the interviewer asked his birth mom, "If you could say something to his adoptive parents what would you want to say?" I literally put my hands over my mouth, tears streaming, and said, "Oh my goodness."  WHAT A GIFT.  Her reply was sweet and sincere and simple, "I pray to God he will give them strength and provision to raise him properly."  Her prays are so special to me....like, I can't express how much they mean.  And, when we are able to meet face-to-face I can thank her for her willingness to give us the honor of "raising him properly" with God's help.
With every stroke of his pencil across those letters or numbers today, I had her on my mind.  I want to serve her well by stewarding him well.  Her sacrifice is not lost on me as I look into his eyes and watch him learn.  This is what she wanted for him and now I know that FOR SURE.  She is getting what she wanted, but at the cost of her own heart.  She speaks of her love for him multiple times in the video.  Her mother even echoes the same heartbeat saying, "I love him.  He's my grandson."  Yes, he is and we are honored to walk this road out never forgetting where he came from and that God's plans are so big for her.  With grace and mercy, we desperately long to honor her with the way we love him (Asnake)  and the way we love Him (God).  This life isn't our own.  And as we continue to let Him piece together the pieces of Asnake's life, we are humbled and grateful that He lets us in on it in even the smallest of ways.

until WE'RE home,
carrie

Good, Good Father

This post could get long (and take me forever to post) because there is a sweet 5 year old sleeping about 12 feet away who keeps stealing my eyes.  WE ARE SLEEPING UNDER THE SAME ROOF and I could not be more humbled.  Drawn to tears no less than 1.335843 million times today.  I will do my best to recount the highlights of the day. As I type, I want you to know it is with tears in my eyes and streaming down my face (think emoji with tears streaming...).  I can hear that little miracle boy snoring as I type.  He's in his new Avengers pajamas, with new socks, after a long warm shower, with teeth brushed, belly fed, and toys in his bed. I will get to all of that in just a minute, but for now, I wanted you to have a mental picture to get you through this post.
The morning started earlier than normal, so the plan was to leave at 7:15am for our 9am court appointment because Addis traffic is one of the craziest things I have ever seen unpredictable.  We did NOT want to be late.  And, let's be honest, we weren't getting much sleep anyway.  Our alarm was set for 6:15am, but when my eyes popped wide open at 6, I couldn't believe it.  THIS WAS IT.  GOTCHA DAY.  We all scurried getting ready and I adjusted his pillow and comforter for the 400th time before we left.  The entire ride to court Mark and I kept saying, "this is really happening," "do you know how many times we talked about this day?" "think about how many days we didn't think this would happen," etc.  We arrived super early and had time to swing into a local coffee shop just down the street.  We all enjoyed a delicious macchiato and while we were there, Tesfahun, our attorney,  joined us.  He is a quiet guy, who has WORKED HIS TAIL OFF FOR US.  We repeatedly heard today from numerous sources, "This case very difficult." Um, yeah, we know.  But, we are eternally grateful (literally) for people who persistently pushed through, fought for, and delivered on getting all the necessary paperwork, even when government offices here asked for silly things that didn't matter.
As we arrived to the court building, there were two lines already forming outside, one for the boys and one for the girls.  Regan and I took our respective place in the back of the girl line, but when the court house opened, we were in in no time.  We waited inside for Brycen, Mark, Mengistu, and Tesfahun.  We wandered through the halls of the courthouse and finally settled in on the second floor just in front of an old wooden door with a number plaque that read "106."  I looked at that door and number and knew behind it our lives would change forever.  Our court appointment was scheduled for 9am.  At 9:15am when no one had come for us or opened the door, I was getting nervous.  So, I asked Tesfahun if they were usually late.  He replied, "No. But, we are the first case this year."  I stood in disbelief.  "Bethany's first case since court re-opened?" I asked.  Tesfahun, "yes, but also THE first case since court opened for any agency. First one of the year for the court."  I nearly died right there.  The favor of the Lord swept over me in a millisecond.  I didn't want to miss it.  God gave us the very first court appointment of the fiscal year for the Ethiopian government. And then my worries melted away as a young woman opened the door and motioned for us to enter.  Here we go,  room 106, here we go.
We entered a fairly small room with dingy walls and purple carpet.  At the back of the room sat a judge at an old office desk.  In front of the desk were 2 rows of chairs, 3 chairs in each row,  facing one another.  Mark and I sat down on the left row, with Brycen.  Regan sat across from Mark in the first seat of the right hand row.  The judge shook our hands and asked to see our passports.  Next, he asked us a series of 8-10 yes or no questions.  For instance, "have you met your child?"  "Have you talked to your biological children about this adoption?" (helped half of them were present, because he asked them), "how many times have you visited your child?'  You get the idea... Our favorite question was, "Do you love him?"  YES.
Before we could even finish, his pen made big strokes across the page, indicating his signature and as it did, he said, "I approve this adoption."  Mark grabbed my hand as we watched him sign and I batted away tears that were hanging on to my lower eye lids for dear life.  We shook his hand and out the door we went.  Three minutes. MAX.  DONE AND DONE.  With the stroke of a pen, Asnake Haile became Asnake Mark McKeehan (until we legally change his name in America to Tyson).  As we pranced back down the steps, Mark said, "I feel like a thousand pounds have been lifted off my shoulders."  And, I thought, "Our God finishes what He begins."  The enemy sought to destroy us in this process.  His plan has been intentional and very personal.  We have known it and we have felt it.  Today, he was crushed under the heel of Jesus who came to set captives free, bind up broken hearts, and put the lonely into families.
We walked out onto the courthouse steps, hand-in-hand, smiling from ear to ear, tasting tears.  Mengistu snapped a couple of photos of us in front of the courthouse, even though it's against the rules not advised.  We played a real life game of Frogger back across the blaring streets of Addis Ababa and sat down in the van as a family of 7. Officially.  Now, the court and government FINALLY get to be caught up with what our hearts have known since April 20th, 2015 when we saw his face for the first time.  As we drove away, I looked at Mark and said, "it's done."  We giggled through our tears like teenage girls and held hands.  We know it's actually only beginning, but the fight changes today.  We aren't fighting the same old battle anymore.  It's done.  Tesfahun spoke up shortly into the drive saying, "You know Asnake's case was very difficult" (one of many people to point that out).... he went on to describe some of the hold up's.  We thanked him profusely for his legal representation for us and for continuing to advocate and represent adoptive families in a culture that is not currently fond of international adoption.  We have sensed it from officials already.  To continue to advocate for these children AS AN ETHIOPIAN puts many of them at risk for social stigma's because so many people aren't supportive of it here.  It was more confirmation that what the enemy set out to destroy, God redeemed.  Right before our eyes today, with the stroke of a pen.  Black ink to be exact.
Next, we dropped Tesfahun off at the US Embassy (the line to get in was SO LONG).  Anyway, we headed to Ethiopia's National Museum where we saw all kinds of artifacts, art work, archeological findings, and other historical pieces.  We took it all in as much as we could, but I kept thinking "WE JUST PASSED COURT!" After the museum we headed to lunch at the Lime Tree.  It appears to be owned by Americans, as everything was written in English and the atmosphere convinced you you were in Atlanta or Market Square.  The decor was bright orange and neon green and the oversized chalk board menu hung over the kitchen.  After we ate and tried orange Fanta (shout out to Mirinda for being the better of the two!), we decided to head back to the guest house because we wanted to upload 72,000 photos for you to see we knew another family had arrived last night and were waiting to see their child for the first time at 2:30pm (same orphanage as Asnake, so we were going to ride together and share Mengistu).  As we drove back the guesthouse, the commute was about an hour due to traffic.  So, Mark decided to play music from his phone for us to sing to in the van.  First up, "Good, Good Father."  As it started Mark said, "He is a good, good Father.  What a day!"  We all belted it out.  We arrived in time to download photos, FaceTimed our parents, let the kids and Mark change clothes, and get everything ready for Asnake to come back with us.  Surreal.  We tidied the room up and packed him a change of clothes in case he needed it.  Then, we bounced down two flights of steps to the living room of the guesthouse.  We sat there a while and then everyone was ready to head to the orphanage for the other family to have their first meeting and for us to have Asnake's farewell ceremony.
I just want to tell y'all something.  We know God is good and big and into details.  But, I just have to let you know that the family who came today, their 12 year old daughter was born in the same region as Asnake, in the same original orphanage as him, and moved with him to their current orphanage in 2014 when the original one was closed by the government.  She has been with him since he was 6 months old.  She's like his big sister.  They have been together for the long haul.  How kind of the Lord to bring her parents here TODAY so she didn't have to sit through his farewell ceremony alone, wondering when she would have a family.  Tears. Again.  She even told us about the fall he had at that original orphanage that caused the scar on the back of his head.  No one else knew what had happened.  Jesus, we love you.  Thank You for being a God of details.
We pulled into the green gate and let the other family out because their daughter was sitting there waiting for them... first visits are just emotional to watch.  I will try to post our video soon.  It's like when you're pregnant and you want to finally touch your baby, tell him you love him, and see him for yourself!  Except these pregnancies are LONG.  really long.  Then, Asnake came out saying, "today I go with you. No more staying here."  We were batting away tears THE WHOLE LIVE LONG DAY.  He played with Brycen and Regan on the monkey bars.  Let me just tell you... our updates from the agency while we were waiting indicated Asnake liked to climb, but people.  He takes climbing to a WHOLE NEW LEVEL.  He climbs vans, slides, hearths of fireplaces, etc.  I mean, he has obeyed us every time we have asked him to get down, but he just has a NEED to climb.  Anyone know of any good climbing gyms or bars for our yard?  We are clearly in the market for one.
Next, he climbed two vans again finally found a soccer ball and started to play.  While he and the other kids (along with Brycen and Regan) played soccer, the orphanage director asked if he could talk to us for a few minutes.  OF COURSE.  He took us into his office and congratulated us on being Asnake's parents.  Then, he started, "I know this case has been frustrating for you.  Asnake's case has been a very difficult one...." I didn't hear the next eight sentences because all I could think in my head was, "yes, but we have a

Good, Good Father."

We listened to him talk about the orphanage and having Asnake.  Then, Meselu came in to tell us it was time for the farewell ceremony.  GRAB THE TISSUES.  Good grief.  We entered the living room of the orphanage, but there was no "Britain's Got Talent" or "Samford and Sons" this time.  Rather, it was all the children in the orphanage, us, Meselu, the family visiting their daughter for the first time, some visitors, and Mengistu.  Oh!  And a professional photographer and videographer.  There was also one of the nannies' ROASTING COFFEE BEANS INSIDE (the smell was amazing), preparing for our coffee ceremony that would be the conclusion of the farewell ceremony.  They had a couch up front prepared for Brycen, Regan, Mark, and me.  We sat down and in walked Asnake in an all white traditional Ethiopian outfit.  TOO MUCH, Y'ALL.  I had already had so much today.  My heart couldn't hold the gratitude already and then HIM in THAT. so cute.  He hopped up on Mark's lap, like he's been a McKeehan forever, rather than only 7.5 hours.  We know that's because he HAS been a McKeehan longer than that... 5 years and 11 months to be exact.  Anyway.  Meselu started talking at the cue of the videographer.  She thanked the orphanage and the agency and she thanked us for adopting Asnake.  I wanted to interrupt and say, "We are the blessed ones BY FAR out of this deal," but I feared it might be rude. So, I listened on.  She gave the children an opportunity to each stand up and tell something about Asnake or tell him something.  A couple of the children said things like, "he is a nice boy and I love him" or one older girl who said, "he is a nice boy. He loves God. Thank you for giving him this opportunity."  *me opening my second packet of tissues of the night*  Next, several of the kids stood to sing him a song.  Their choice (after discussing it for approximately 32 seconds):  This is the Day the Lord has Made.  The girl who led them?  the one who has been with Asnake since he was a baby.  I sat watching in awe of a God who makes all things possible.  This IS THE DAY the Lord has made and those words are  exactly the ones I uttered this morning (and Instagrammed) starting my morning today as I looked out over the city through our window.  They sang it in Amharic and English.  I tried to sing along in English.  Let's be real.  I just couldn't because I knew my cry would get UGLY.  After the prayer, they asked our family to bring Asnake to the middle of the room so they could pray over us.  Y'ALL.  SERIOUSLY.  tears dripped of my nose onto the red carpet that lines the living room.  All those young voices saying, "Amen" every few sentences (after each blessing that was prayed over him).  So tender to me.  And, one day, it will be to him.
Then, we had a photo session with all the kids in the orphanage and all the nannies and cooks and Meselu.  Finally the coffee has finished roasting and had been ground (by hand) and was ready to drink!  In the traditional Ethiopian coffee ceremony way, Mark and I were given the first two cups (small cups) of coffee.  Visitors and other adults also partook in drinking the coffee.  It was delicious!  Just prior to the coffee ceremony, Asnake kept saying, "Go, Mom?"  "Go, Dad?" pointing to outside.  We explained we would go as soon as the coffee ceremony was finished.  He is so funny.  In English he said, "No buna, just go.  No buna, just go."  We were able to convince him to let us have "buna" (coffee) and that it wouldn't take long!  He sat down and waited.  But, THEN THE TIME CAME.  It was like it just all happened so fast.  We were walking through the large door of the living room, lined with nannies and children.  Two toddlers wailing, "Asnake! Asnake!"  and the nannies who were quietly crying, wiping their tears on their shirts or each other as they hugged one another.  Meanwhile, Mark is carrying Asnake out the door and his smile was like he owned the place.  He couldn't wait!  He jumped into the van grinning from ear to ear.  I was trying to get in there, but as I hugged Meselu, I just cried and cried.  I hopped in just behind Asnake, but he headed straight to the back seat to sit with Brycen.  As we pulled away, he had his head looking out the side window at the children who had made their way out, the nannies, and our beloved Meselu.  I just kept wondering what he must be thinking.  Then, he turned and looked at us.... MELT ME.  His smile was from ear to ear.  It didn't take long for traffic to pick up and he turned around, looking straight out the back window until we arrived back at the guesthouse.  But, in a flash, he was out of that van and running to the door of the house.  He dashed up the steps at our instruction and as we entered the room I fought back tears, but tried to be so present.  The first thing we did was let him just walk around the room.  Then, we went over and showed him where his clothes, shoes, socks, underwear, jackets, and pants were.  He looked at them and said, "For Asnake?"  He particularly loved the shoes.  I told you he was born a McKeehan.  We only presented a few small toys at first... a small green motorcycle that makes noise and a yellow motorcycle as well as 3 matchbox cars.  He played and played with all of those for the longest time.
Next, he wanted to change into his new pajamas.  But, one of my top priorities had been getting him a good shower, so I said, "Shower. Then, pajamas."  He bought it.  Off he went to the bathroom with new spiderman underwear and Avengers pajamas in his hands.  Before I could think he was undressing.  It was all happening so fast, but I was so glad.  I started the water and when it got warm, he jumped in.  He just smiled and smiled.  I don't think he's ever had a warm shower.  I was still in my nice clothes from court, but I was practically in the shower with him.  I was crying THE ENTIRE TIME.  This first shower was the one thing that I knew would help me solidify that I AM HIS MOM. I had thought about it for 6 years.  And, as I stood there cleaning him off, I kept thinking "You're a

Good, Good Father."

We used soap and shampoo and afterwards I wrapped him up in a big, fluffy white towel and he just giggled.  He stood still while I lotioned him up and put hair milk in his hair.  HE SMELLS SO GOOD.  After his shower he played with "motors" more and then he said, "Mom, can we eat tomorrow?" And then I nearly died.  DINNER.  Our plan was to order take-out (there's a place that delivers to our guesthouse), but we had gotten busy and forgot.  So, Mark dashed downstairs to order food, while I handed him a pop tart and explained we will eat EVERY DAY and if he is hungry he needs to tell Mommy.  Thankfully, Mengistu popped in just in time to make sure he understood in Amharic.  He didn't seem the least bit anxious, but I wanted him to know and see we had food here.  While we waited for the food we showed him a few more toys and gave him his iPod.  We had loaded some English games on it, math games, music (he loves music), and other educational games.  And, I cannot even tell you the cuteness of him in those Spiderman headphones.  Anyway.  Regan got his music going for him and on repeat....

"Good, Good Father."

NO JOKE.  It wasn't 10 minutes later and he was singing it outloud.  In English. In our room.  Where we could hear and understand.  Tissues. please.  "That's who You are, That's who You are..."  and "That's who I am.  That's who I am."  Mark started recording and I just sat there. crying. He had the song on repeat and continued to sing it the rest of the night, even without the headphones or music.  We knew he was getting tired, but had hoped he'd stay up long enough to FaceTime Corbin and Hudson after school (10pm our time).  So, we went downstairs to wait on our food.  We played with "motors" and ate chips.  Don't judge.  Finally, dinner arrived and the five of us sat around the table, held hands and prayed.  Another first.  Our first meal together.  It made me miss Corbin and Hudson so much, but I was so grateful Asnake ate well and loved it.  He had asked for candy for earlier and I gave him chips instead, telling him after dinner he could have the candy.  I know chips aren't much better, but it made me feel better.  Laughing at myself as I type.  Anyway.  As we finished eating Asnake said, "Movie and candy next, Mom."  Yes!  So, we came upstairs and put Kung Fu Panda 3 on (his favorite) just after eating some Sour Patch Kids (which he LOVED... thank you Erik and Jennifer Jackson).  I couldn't watch the movie.  I was too distracted with his laying there between Mark and Brycen and then between Regan and Brycen.  It's like he's been here forever.  No-one will ever convince me it's anything less than all out PRAYER.  Next we pulled out the sunglasses and he remembered his spiderman jacket.  So, he zipped it all the way up so his face was covered and he looked like spiderman.  We said, "Where did Asnake go?  Asnake, where are you?"  He just giggled and giggled and then showed us his face.  Beaming.  It was so fun.  Eventually, we said, "Mom, sit," while patting his bed.  I sat down and he crawled in my lap.  I asked Mark to give us a book to read.  Guess what he brought?

"Good, Good Father."

It's a new children's book that is co-authored by Chris Tomlin (thank you, Averee Gentry!).  Sweet boy sat in my lap and we read our first book together.  He held a small flashlight in his hand the entire time, giving me light to read (even though the power was on).  He's always so thoughtful.  When it came time to brush teeth, I gave him a new toothbrush and went in behind him with the toothpaste.  As I walked into the bathroom, he was holding out his pointer finger and said, "colgate."  It was right then I realized he had never used a toothbrush.  He had always used his finger to brush his teeth.  I fought back tears and taught him how to brush his teeth.  He kept brushing and brushing.  and smiling and smiling.  And brushing and brushing.  I asked him in Amharic if he liked it and he raised his eyebrows with a wide smile, indicating, "YES."  I showed him where to put his toothbrush and "colgate." It was finally time to talk to Corbin and Hudson!
We FaceTimed them at Nina's (but Camryn Pinner was there, too).  When the screen came up all three boys, 2 on one side of the planet and the other one with us, grinned SO BIG at seeing each other live for the first time (shout out to technology!).  We let them talk as much as they could,  given the language barrier, but it was so sweet to hear them tell each other they loved each other.  I will forever remember all of their smiles.  I know God is growing all of their faiths.  Today was a huge marker in the road.  A huge faith growing marker.  We love You, our

Good, Good Father.

After we finished talking, it was bedtime!  He obeyed our first request to get into bed, but asked if he could sleep with 3 motors, sunglasses, and his small red flashlight.  Um. Sure.  It didn't take long and he was fast asleep.  Since I started this post, I have retrieved 2 of our "motors' off the the floor (I heard them drop), but he is sleeping peacefully in a room with his oldest brother, only sister, and his mommy and daddy.  I don't know what his mind was thinking or his heart was feeling.  I do know, our day and night went a million times more smoothly than we had anticipated.  His English is just so much better than we anticipated, so that is a huge blessing.  But, there is more to it than that.  Our prayers for God to knit our hearts together long before we met him have been answered.  He welcomes our affection and while he was on my lap earlier he (unsolicited at all) leaned over on me and said, "that's my mommy."  I had to ask Regan to bring me (another) pack of tissues.  God has allowed all of us to sit back and watch Him answer prayers regarding a case that  the government couldn't and wouldn't do.  They said this case was too hard.  He has given us a beautiful first week with bonding and attachment in an environment that is difficult.  He has given us overwhelming peace and joy.  As he put on his white Converse tennis shoes tonight with his pajamas, I couldn't help but think back to the day we bought them.  It was a day we were missing him and wondering what in the world was going to happen.  As his feet dangled wearing those shoes tonight, I was reminded of redemption.  That Jesus came to make all things new.  His plans are wise and good.  His love is steadfast and strong, able to carry us though what we, on our own, could never carry.  He restores. He purposes.  He redeems.  As I lay my head on my pillow tonight with the quiet, steady deep breaths that are new to our room in my ear, I am undone with gratitude.  Overwhelmed with His goodness toward us.  Grateful for His provision and making a way for Asnake to come to our family.  I am going to bed singing the anthem of the day, "You're a

Good, Good Father."

YES YOU ARE.

And I am grateful.

Carrie

Lasts

Lasts.  It's been on my mind all day.  As we woke this morning and eased into the day, I kept wondering what Tyson must be feeling or thinking, knowing tomorrow is THE day.  Court day.  It's our GOTCHA DAY and it's TOMORROW.  I am alone in our guest room, as Mark and the kids throw football outside, and I am a tearful mess. I think Mark sensed I was on the verge of crying and wanted to give me privacy and a place to do that.  The emotions going into today were excitement, as we knew we had our court orientation and a few legalities to take care of in way of paperwork and Visa info, etc.  We had a lazy morning in, except for Brycen and Regan doing their school work.  We knew tomorrow would be long and busy, so they did today and tomorrow's work this morning. At 2pm, Mengistu picked us up and drove us to the Bethany office.  It was a bit surreal to walk into the office, knowing this was the place and these were the people who had tirelessly, effortlessly, and sacrificially done the paperwork on the ground to make this adoption possible.  They have fought for us and for Tyson more than we will ever know.  We tried to express our sincere, deep appreciation and pray they were able to sense how genuine we were.  We sat in a small room with two long tables and 10 chairs.  We were the only ones in there for a few minutes, and then Tesfahun (works for Bethany) joined us and went over what we should expect at court in the morning.  He explained that the whole process will likely only take 5 minutes.  FIVE MINUTES.  Which, I am grateful for, as I will probably be ready to bust out into tears THE ENTIRE DAY.  Our appointment is scheduled for 9am (2am your time).  After court orientation we completed (more) paperwork, paid for Tyson's visa, and received Tyson's LifeBook from our agency.  The LifeBook is a disc of all the interviews with his birth mom that happened during investigations (from Ethiopian government as well as US immigration) as part of the adoption process.  This will be a disc that will tell him about his story and he can, for himself, hear and see what his birth mom's circumstances were and what led to his being relinquished.  We are going to watch it tonight.  I am sure I will need a lot of tissues (thank you, Bethany Gentry, for sending us with plenty!).  Next, we were able to meet with his social worker, Meselu, again.  She answered a few of the questions we had regarding his past.  It seems his story is one that is quite different than so many others we have met or that we continue to hear about.  We are thankful he seems well adjusted now and know that will aide in his transition to us.  After we talked with Meselu, the nurse for Bethany came in.  She discussed with us that "he is a healthy boy who rarely gets sick."  She told us about his current weight (44 pounds!) and height (41 inches).  She talked to us about his immunization history and what to expect at the VISA medical exam (required for him to get a US VISA).  When we finished with her, we headed to the orphanage.
When we first entered the gate, Tyson saw us, but he seemed more shy.  It took him a few minutes to seem as happy, though he greeted us all with hugs.  We asked Mengistu if something was wrong or if he was sad.  Tyson replied that he had not gone to school today because his nannies thought we would be there early.  Poor thing had been waiting on us all day!!!  We thought he was at school all day.  It was just a miscommunication and we made sure he knew what time we would be there tomorrow.  Mengistu also said that it is likely his nannies have been having conversations with him about his leaving and how they will not see him again.  He seemed very contemplative all day, which is totally understandable and good.  He finally went to play basketball with Regan and Brycen after putting Mark's watch on his arm.  He loves our watches.  While they were playing a worker from the orphanage came out and gave him a small Ethiopian flag on a stick.  He loved it... he held it and twirled around.  He didn't want anyone to touch it.  It seemed like a very special gift to him.  While he was walking around with his flag, some of the boys were running around us.   One of them snatched Regan's water bottle out of the side pocket of her backpack.  I didn't even know Tyson was paying any attention, but as soon as it happened, he ran toward those boys!  It was instinctual.  He retrieved the water bottle back and worked so hard to put it right back in her side pocket of the backpack.  I stood with tears in my eyes to see how he already feels like protecting her.  He put his beloved flag down in order to aide her.  It was powerful and such a huge moment for us of seeing that he knows he already belongs to us.
As the visit progressed we were able to video him singing a few Christian kid songs he has learned in the orphanage.  We pray long-term these will be a blessing to him to have. We did have one question we hadn't asked yesterday (thought of it in the night) and that was what he was afraid of (we had already established he is afraid of big dogs, but past that we didn't know).  Turns out he immediately replied (in Amharic to Mengistu), "if I go in a room and the lights are out and someone shuts the door I would be afraid."  Noted.  And so would I.
The longer we sat there and the more I observed, the more I realized that we have no idea what he must be feeling.  Since he didn't go to school today, it is likely he won't go tomorrow, so he has had his last day of school here.  There is one friend that he is particularly close to and today was there last full day to play together.  I am committed to praying for that friend as Tyson leaves.  It must be so lonely and hard to watch your friends (that seem like brothers) leave.  Then, thinking about his sweet nannies.  The thought of them helping him with his shoes or his shower each day, knowing their time with him is coming to an end.... and the conversations they must be having with him, knowing they will never see him again.  This is the only house and "family" he has ever known.  At one point in the visit, Mengistu asked him if he was happy or sad today.  He replied, "I am very happy.  Tomorrow I get to leave here."  That made me feel good, but I also know that involves a lot of grief for him.  He has no idea how drastically different his life is going to be.  But, it made me aware that he knows tomorrow is a big day and that means one thing:  tonight is his last night sleeping in an orphanage.  Ever.  The reality of all it is overwhelming to me.  I can't imagine how a five year old is supposed to process it all.  It seems, to me, that most of these lasts for him likely carry a banner of being bittersweet.  It is impossible for him to know the "sweet" and the lasts have to be full of uncertainty.  As I have noted before on previous posts, adoption is a story of grief. As much as we know we can provide more opportunities, stability, family, love, education, etc, to a child who has only known living in an orphanage, they don't trust that.  Their lives have been spent surviving.  So, adoption isn't necessarily something they all sit and dream about.  Furthermore, it isn't something most of them get, so the hope of being adopted is one they don't let themselves dream about often.
Yet, here we are.  This time tomorrow he will officially be a McKeehan.  I can't even.... After court, we have plans for the whole day and we will end our day (at 5pm) going to the orphanage for Tyson's farewell ceremony (cue the tears).  He will wear traditional Ethiopian clothing (that he gets to keep) and all the other children will be present.  The nannies prepare a traditional coffee ceremony and his social worker and Mengistu will join us as well.  These ceremonies are a big deal, as it is his last time to be in the orphanage with these people he loves and who love him.  Those will be his last moments of not knowing what it means to be in a family.  His last hugs and kisses and songs with his friends and nannies.  But, it will open  up so many firsts.  I can't help but sit back and consider how all of this is a story of pure redemption.  What the enemy set out to destroy, God has redeemed.  God sets the lonely in families and pursues us just like this, even while we are in our sin unaware of Him.
As the gavel falls tomorrow morning, the judgement is final.  He will be ours.
With hearts of gratitude and joy, we will lay our heads on our pillows tonight because one very important last is behind us:
our last goodbye.
As we pulled out of the green gate today I said, "That was our last goodbye forever."  For me, this is the most important last of the day.  REDEMPTION.  Find yourself in this story.  It's God's story.  The day we come to faith in Jesus, the gavel falls, declaring us His child.  And, oh how His heart must swell, knowing He will never leave us and we will never be alone again.
As I close tonight, I am mindful that this is my last post as an (official) mom to 4.  It's a last I welcome.  Bring on the firsts.

we love you. thank you for joining us as we walk through so many firsts.  And so many lasts.

until he's home,
carrie

My Tyson

Happy Sunday from Addis Ababa.  We just finished dinner while you are worshipping.  We are praying for you!  Today was another great day.  We started out slow, not having to be ready to go until 10:45am.  Church started at 11:15... and we went to a church called IEC (International Evangelical Church).  It is a service that is completely in English, so it was great to see so many Ethiopians there!  As the service got started, Mark and I were trying to figure out how many nationalities were present.  I don't know for certain, but the ones we know for sure were American, African, and Asian (many Chinese people are in Ethiopia).  It was a small slice of heaven to stand, singing, all of us in one accord to the one, true, living God.  The songs were all familiar and the people were all very welcoming.  Church ended around 12:30 and we headed off to lunch.

We originally had plans to go for pizza after church (there is a pizza place here that makes gluten free crust out of Teff flour), but the pizza place closest to church wasn't the one.  We will find it and try it another day.  So, Mengistu recommended going to a hotel for lunch where we could eat at a buffet or order off the menu.  Um, holy cow.  It was so fancy, but the food was SO GOOD.  It wasn't what you think of when you think of Ethiopia.  All the tables had cloth linens with accents of orange and cream.  A HUGE chandelier hung in the center, going through the floor of the room we were in and hanging above the lobby below us.  It was unexpected and beautiful.  It was also delicious.  Four of us ate the buffet while Brycen ate a steak he ordered off the menu.  After we ate we had "chai" and "buna" (tea and coffee).  It was during this lunch we had some very "real" conversations with Mengistu.  We were able to ask some questions about Tyson, his past, and his birth mom.  Some of the answers were hard to hear, but mostly the answers brought us great clarity on some things we had felt were previously unclear.  

The conversation made me realize, again, that our son comes from a hard place.  No child comes to adoption without it.  Though sobering, it was a great reminder that his head and heart have had to process and grieve so much in 5 short years.  I will never know, this side of heaven, all that he has endured.  And, admittedly, that is hard for me.  But, I am more confident now than ever, being here, seeing him and knowing about him, that God created me to be his mom.  Often, parents struggle and feel insecure.  I, in no way, am confident I know what I am doing or that I know how to parent him exactly.  What I DO know is that God created me to be his mom and I am confident in HIM.  As we rode from lunch to the orphanage, I couldn't help thinking about all the challenges and transitions Tyson has already endured.  He's a survivor.  He's strong.  I am glad he doesn't have to be so strong alone anymore.  I am grateful, he can stop trying to survive and he can depend on and trust us to help him.  I also spent time thinking about his birth mom.  Mengistu explained, again, that we will be having a birth family meeting with her while we are here.  Due to the protests recently just outside of Addis, we have been prevented from going to visit her.  But, before we leave, we will have the opportunity to meet her.  As a few of of you know, because I haven't shared it with many people (until now), meeting his birth mom is one part of our trip that I have been the most anxious intimidated prayerful about.  I get one shot to ask her questions, to try to extend the love of Jesus, and to try to adequately convey the immeasurable gratitude I have for her.  Human words can't do two of the three of those, apart of Holy Spirit.  I am not sure what you say to the woman who BIRTHED YOUR CHILD and then had the bravery, compassion, courage, and love to walk him to an orphanage, knowing if she kept him he would die.  How do you even express, with only 26 letters in the alphabet, how AMAZING she is?  It's a profound kind of love.  One that I can't even wrap my head or heart around.  With every step she took walking her 3 month old to the orphanage, she knew she was one step closer to never seeing him again.  And, I get to meet her.  These are the thoughts that occupied my thoughts as we drove to see that bundle of joy she so selflessly held in her arms that February day.  

When we arrived no children were playing outside, but it was about 2:30pm, so I knew it was nap time for the younger children.  So, I wasn't sure if Tyson would be up or not.  We meandered through the orphanage from the back door and made our way to the living room.  It wasn't "Britain's Got Talent" playing this time.  It was "Sanford and Sons." I mean, really.  I can't make this stuff up.  We have been asked how they have TV shows.  What they have is a TV with videos...some cassette tapes, some downloaded onto discs from YouTube.  So, charities or volunteers bring them videos and movies to watch.  Anyway... Tyson was nowhere to be seen in the living room among the older children.  About the time I sat down on the couch, I saw a sleepy-eyed, just-woke-up boy walk in and curl up on my lap.  He gave me a half-smile that I recognized as "I am not awake yet, but I am happy to see you."  So, I curled him up, gave him approximately 72 kisses, and held him until he was more awake.  Before I knew it, he said, 'Mom, outside."  So I asked his nannie if it was ok for us to go outside.  She said, "of course."  We went out and kicked a (flat) red ball around.  Then, we found a small, red American football.  Brycen picked it up and asked if Tyson wanted to play catch.  He had never thrown one before.  If you follow Mark on Instagram (or Facebook), you will see a shot of his first throw.  Mark crouched down behind him when Brycen would throw it back, because Tyson wasn't sure how to catch it.  While they were passing ball, I was cheering them on and Mengistu came and sat beside me.  He said, I think Tyson (though he uses his Ethiopian name) would like it if you added 'yea' after you say his name. This means 'my.'  It's very personal.  So, what he would hear you say is, 'my Tyson.'" I looked at him and said, "YES!  I love that."  Mengistu said, "not all children are ready for that.  He is."  And then, I batted the tears away again.  So, the second he threw the next ball and he came to give me a high-five, I said, "My Tyson" (except with his Ethiopian name and in Amharic).  His grin was so big and he shook his head "yes."  Then he hugged me and said, "my mommy."  And, I nearly needed resuscitation.  Yes, big guy.  I am always and forever your mommy.  

Next, Mengistu had THE BEST IDEA.  Since today is Hudson's 7th birthday (Happy Birthday, Hud!!!!!), we videoed Tyson singing him Happy Birthday in Amharic and English to Hudson. It was THE SWEETEST thing on planet earth.  We have sent those videos to him and we are planning to FaceTime him at 1:00pm his time to watch him watch the videos.  Tyson was so excited to know it was Hudson's birthday.  Tyson watched himself singing it about 12 times.  And he smiled every time.  Not to mention I was sitting with him and kept telling him in Amharic how handsome he looked on the video.  As we sat watching the video, his nannie came out and sat down beside me.  I hugged her and grabbed a list of questions we had thought about that we wanted to know.  She was so gracious to answer our questions like, "how does he respond to conflict with the other kids?" and "has he ever swallowed pills before?" and "does he bath alone or with help?" You get the idea.  There are so many things we take for granted that we know about our kids that no one else knows.  I am trying to learn as much as possible.  We rattled off probably 10 questions and she answered them all. Once she stated, "He is number one for his age getting dressed by himself.  The only thing he needs help with is washing his face and getting his shoes on the right feet."  DONE and DONE.  We discussed bedtime routines, morning routines, things that comfort him... just so many things.  And, he sat there playing English games on my phone right beside us.  I am so thankful he is getting to see us have these conversations together so the dots can continue to connect that she is turning her care over to us.  She patted his back as she walked away and said, "I am thankful for you all too.  Hopefully he will be somebody."  I watched her walk away and thought, "he already is."

We played basketball and chase and chatted.  Tyson wore my long necklace around and played in the van.  Riding in a vehicle is so unusual for him... he is fascinated by it.  He sat on the back seat and buckled the seatbelt (most vans here don't even have seatbelts).  So, I had Mengistu explain about his booster seat and wearing a seatbelt in America.  He grinned and kept buckling and unbuckling it saying (in English), "in American I do this."  Then, Mengistu told him that in America Mommy does most of the driving.  He said, "Mommy let's us go."  He's super excited about all things cars.  As he flipped through my photos on my phone he was especially taken by the photos of our summer trip to Charlotte to visit our friends, Trevor and Ashton.  At first I thought he liked the photo with Trevor because it was one our whole family was in (he really can't wait to meet Hudson and Corbin).  But, I later figured out it was likely the brightly colored car hauler we were standing in front of with a big red "6" on it.  Either way, we will have another Nascar fan on our hands (Go, Trevor, Go)!  He really loves cars!

Soon it was time for us to go.  We hugged him good-bye, gave him big kisses, and assured him we would be back tomorrow after school.  He hugged us and kissed us and told us he loved us.  He waved good-bye to us as we drove out of the green gate at the orphanage.  That's when I thought, only two more nights of sleeping here, sweet boy.  Two more nights.  

We came back to the guesthouse and ate a traditional Ethiopian meal.  Now, the kids are working on homework and Mark is reading.  Tomorrow we will be in the guesthouse all morning (so the kids can do school work) and at 2pm we will go to the Bethany office to have our orientation regarding court.  I will leave the details about court for tomorrow.  I already CAN'T WAIT.  

As I fall asleep tonight, I will be so mindful of all the sacrifices Tyson's birth mom has made, not just for him to survive, but also for us.  At one point in our process we needed her to show up to court and it was likely an 8 hour trip for her to come.  She likely walked most of it.  There is no doubt in my mind that she loves him, otherwise, she wouldn't continue to make a way for him to come to us.  I am praying for her to know Jesus, the One who understands her sacrifices and grief like no one else can.  

I am also praying for our son, the one his nannie "hopes" becomes somebody.  I know God's plans for him are big.  I know they are full of grace and to give him abundant life and healing.  He's already somebody... he's 

My Tyson.

until he's home,

carrie