Thursday, August 13, 2015

Who, What, Where, and WHEN?

One week from tomorrow marks four months since we first saw our sweet boy's face. It's hard to believe.  The question we get the most often is, "When will he be home?" No one wants an answer to that question more than us!  But, I thought I would do a post on what IS happening right now, since it can seem like nothing is happening.  This whole process is one easily defined by the infamous, "Hurry up and wait" description.  We hurried to get our initial paperwork completed 4 1/2 years ago. Then we WAITED.  Completed another dossier.  Waited some more.  The third dossier was a tad bit easier to complete because during the process of gathering all the documents for it, we saw his face for the first time.  Then, after a few initial referral acceptance papers, we have waited the majority of the last four months waiting on necessary paperwork from Ethiopia that is required by US immigration.  Last year USCIS (US immigration) began requiring new paperwork at this stage in the process.  This new paperwork and approval is known in the adoption/immigration world as the PAIR process (pre-adoption immigration review).  To over simplify it for the purpose of this post, suffice it to say this is another layer of red-tape required by the government in an effort to keep adoptions ethical.  For the most part required paperwork is the same for each case, but because no two cases are exactly the same, paperwork can vary from case-to-case making this part of the process a bit frustrating.  But, as part of this paper process we received some Ethiopian documents that helped piece together some timelines in Tyson's story that weren't yet known to us.  We even know the exact day his mom walked him into the orphanage, knowing it would the last day she would see him.  My heart literally skipped a beat as I was watching the pages come off the printer and I saw a black and white photo of her.  Now, I know her name. I know her story.  I know her face.  I am forever changed by her courage.  By her sacrifice to choose to give him life, her greatest grief becomes one of our greatest joys.  But, it is impossible to ever completely separate the grief and the joy.  Adoption is hard.

So, we collected the majority of the necessary forms/papers for PAIR processing.  The only big thing we are missing is Regional Court approval.  This approval is part of the Ethiopian government's requirements.  While two governments have simultaneous proceedings and processes happening to finalize this adoption, they DO in some places overlap.  One place they overlap is here... where in order for us to receive PAIR approval (from US government) we must have Regional approval (from Ethiopian government).  Whew!  So, our team at Bethany decided that we would go ahead and use the documents we have and submit for PAIR approval, knowing we are missing one key thing: Regional Court approval from Ethiopia.  However, it is still possible for the NBC (National Benefits Center) to look at all our other paperwork and then issue us what is called an RFE (Request For Further Evidence).  We are expecting this.  Once we receive this RFE (because of the missing Regional Court approval) we should be nearing the completion of Regional approval.  Once we receive the approval, we can send it to the NBC to fulfill the request for more evidence.  THEN, we should have PAIR approval.  Regional approval can take up to 12 weeks, but we hoping it will be MUCH sooner.  We have been submitted to Regional Court for 3 weeks already.  Part of getting Regional approval from the Ethiopian Court requires involvement from Tyson's original orphanage, his current orphanage, and his birth family.  We would welcome your prayers for quick approval and for all these moving parts to somehow come together for PAIR approval. I would also like to ask, with a heart full of sorrow,  for prayers for his birth mom during this season.  It has to be a lot to remember.  A lot to lose.  again.  We are praying that her knowing he is getting a home, a family, unconditional love, will bring great healing and comfort to her.  However, a Mommy longs for her baby.  Thank you in advance for your prayers on her behalf.

Here is a look at our PAIR packet on the FedEx scale Tuesday:

                                                               


What you don't see in the picture is my heart pounding out of my chest.  I looked at that envelope and tears filled my eyes.  This is our last big packet of papers to mail in this process.  As you will continue to read, there is still so much that has to be done.  However, this was OUR last big piece to the puzzle.  I walked out of FedEx and opened the door to the van, slid inside (where the kids were waiting), and I cried.  A lot.  The overwhelming relief was something I wasn't prepared for.  Then it occurred to me: this has been nearly a full-time job for me for almost 5 years (since November 9, 2010).  That one envelope represents so much to me.  I see so much more than a FedEx scale and packaging.  It still makes me emotional to see. He is so close to being home.

Ok.  SO, after regional approval and then PAIR approval, the US Embassy will initiate one last investigation to confirm Tyson is an orphan.  Don't really get me started on this part of the process, just trust me that it is necessary and typically doesn't take very long (the case has been investigated numerous times prior to this).  After the US Embassy performs their investigation and declares Tyson to be an orphan by definition (which is different for every country, by the way), then the Embassy submits their findings to Ethiopian Federal Court.  At this point there are two important court dates that happen on the Federal level.  First, there is a birth family court date.  Sigh.  Pause.  CAN YOU EVEN IMAGINE?  I am tearful just thinking about the courage and humility and selfLESSness that this requires from her.  However, in an effort to be assured she hasn't been paid to relinquish him, or coerced in any way, it is a necessary part.  After this first court date, we have to wait for a MOWA (Ministries of Women's Affairs) letter.  This important letter is one that gives approval for the the second court date to be set.  Why is that a big deal?  BECAUSE THAT'S OUR COURT DATE!!!!  This letter gives us the approval to TRAVEL.  The MOWA letter in some cases is issued the same day as the birth family court date.  Other times it takes a few weeks for the letter to come.  Once we get the approval letter from MOWA, our agency will file all our paperwork with Federal Court for OUR COURT DATE.  We will hopefully have about two weeks notice from the time we get a court date until we travel.

There are two ways families can go about travel because there are still two important things that have to happen before we can come back to the US with Tyson.  First, our Federal Court date, as mentioned above.  This court date wraps up the Ethiopian side of our adoption and makes Tyson legally our son (a MCKEEHAN!).  Many families make two travel trips, one for this important court date (both parents are required to be present) and then another for the US Embassy clearance.  Typically if two trips are made they are 4-8 weeks apart.  During those 4-8 weeks the child is getting a visa, passport, new birth certificate (for Tyson it will list him as a McKeehan!), and medical clearances. This option means parents have met their child on the first trip, spent time together everyday they are in country, and then they leave their child and fly back to America until they get an Embassy date.  That is one option.  The second option is making one trip.  For this option, most agencies prepare families that the stay in-country can be up to 4-5 weeks.  However, the advantage of not leaving the child makes this option appealing.  And, the option we have chosen to do.  We have good friends who are in the air as I type flying back to Knoxville from picking up their son in Ethiopia.  They were only in country TWO weeks and got everything finished up (Federal Court date, visa, passport, medicals, and Embassy appointment).  So, we aren't sure exactly how long OUR trip will take, but we suspect it shouldn't take the full 4 weeks (likely closer to 2).  After the US Embassy approval we are free to come home whenever we want!  Our friends who are flying home right now (Welcome home, Akbar!) just got US Embassy approval less than 12 hours ago!

This was a LONG, drawn-out post trying to catch you up on who, what, where, and WHEN all of this will be finished.  I hope it helped!  If you are more confused than you were, do not worry.  It is a complicated process and one I have been trying to "figure out" for years.  If you don't get it after one blog post, don't fret!  I just wanted you to have an understanding about what we are waiting on and to see how many moving parts and pieces there still are in the process.  Thank you for faithfully journeying with us.  Until he's home......