Friday, November 11, 2011

my Day Planner

According to my day planner we turned in our formal adoption application January 20, 2011. It included a mound of paperwork that had been preceded by a preliminary application. I flip through the black, worn planner only a few pages and come to March 10, 2011, the day we were told adoptions in Ethiopia would decrease by 90%. Two weeks later, on March 24, we started our home study and completed it only 4 days later. Our home study was officially completed and ready for us to pick up on April 20, marking the first day we could apply for grants and mail immigration paperwork. We did both that very day. April 30 we held our fist ever adoption yard sale and three weeks later we went for our USCIS (immigration services) fingerprinting on May 17. We enjoyed a week in Disney at the first of June and came home anxious to receive our USCIS approval. Our wait was short as it arrived on June 16. The USCIS approval was the final paperwork needed to complete our dossier. So June 17th I was running around crazy getting every form county sealed after confirming all were correctly notarized. We enjoyed Father's Day weekend and hit the road early Monday morning, June 20 for Nashville where we had our dossier state authenticated. Early the next morning I took our completed dossier (and a bajillion copies I had stayed up late making and organizing) to our social worker at our local Bethany office. She then sent our dossier over night to the Bethany Christian Services headquarters in Grand Rapids, Michigan.

Our part was over for a while. A long while.

We received an email August 2 stating our dossier had been translated and registered in Ethiopia. The wait continued. In my heart we have been waiting years, but only 4 1/2 months (since June 20 when I dropped off our dossier) according to

my day planner.

Fast forward through those 4+ months to yesterday. I sent an email to the coordinator for referrals in Grand Rapids simply introducing myself and our family, as we had learned we would be dealing with her directly from here on out. I just wanted to know how referrals were coming along for others and if, indeed, the average wait time was still 3-6 mo to receive a referral. The response wasn't what we wanted to hear, but we understand the reasoning. The wait time has increased from 3-6 mo to 6 mo-12 mo. This wait time begins when our dossier is translated and registered in Ethiopia, August 2. So, we (technically) have only been waiting just over 3 months in what will likely be a 6-12 month wait to see the face of our sweet Lakin. The reason for the delay is simply that more investigations are needed for each case prior to a referral (a match) being given to ensure the child really meets the definition of "an orphan." This part wasn't in

my day planner.

Then, I stop and pray. I can calculate, figure, read blogs and yahoo groups, speculate, and presume all day long and drive myself crazy or I can remember I have a different

Day Planner.

He is Day Inventor. Day Giver. Day Sustainer. Day Changer. Day Maker. Day Planner. He has reminded me at least a million times recently in my study of Esther, how precise are His ways. How precise is His time. And His timing. I know for sure that His time table supercedes all averages, delays, or legalities. He is the One who placed Esther in the palace over 5 years before she exposed Haman's plot to kill all the Jews. He placed her there in His timing, preparing her for His plan to be fulfilled in His way. It wasn't Esther. It was God. It wasn't her days plan. It was her

Day Planner.

Writing tonight with a heavy heart, I am still confidant in His will, His way, His love, His timing. The wait grows more difficult with each passing day, but our strength continues to be renewed as we wait for Him. I feel sure there will come a day I will pull out my black, worn

day planner

and stand amazed at the One who holds my every tear in a bottle,

my Day Planner.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Our Shalom

Our Peace.

It's such a sweet, intentional gift offered for our taking from the One who IS peace. The waiting is growing wearisome with each passing day, but we are confident in God's timing. This week has been particularly difficult. With orphan Sunday this weekend we have both had our minds more consumed with orphans. One in particular. Mark and I spent one night talking through things we think about:
"Do you think she watches other children go with families and wonder if she will ever get a family?"
"I wonder nearly every day if today is her birthday and no one is celebrating her."
"Do you think she had one full meal today?"
"I wonder if she has been in the orphanage a long time and doesn't remember her biological family."

And the list goes on. There are more questions without answers than with answers, but in the waiting we are growing, trusting, and believing God's plan to be abundant. Even when it is really hard to be patient. Really, really hard. I was just sharing with a couple adopting a newborn how closely the adoption process mimics pregnancy emotionally (at least for me!). I am forgetful, clumsy, and nesting. It's the craziest thing ever. And then I remember that adoption is God's plan and He never overlooks even the smallest of details. So, of COURSE my emotions mimic pregnancy. In all of that, however, it becomes difficult on some days (some days more than others) to accept the peace God is offering in the process. There are days it would be easier to have a pity party, cry my eyes out, and curl up in a ball. OK, so maybe I HAVE chosen that route a time or two (or five), but then, I am reminded of the Peace. God didn't send Jesus in order for me to have pity parties, cry fests, and days curled up in bed. He came for freedom and to offer His children peace. I am being more intentional about accepting it. Though, it continues to be a daily battle.

In the meantime, I have been so grateful for a song newly introduced to me, "Our Shalom." One day after Bible study my friend, Jenny, told me she wanted me to hear a song. I listened to it on her phone and then went to watch the YouTube video later that night. I immediately downloaded it and hit repeat on my iPod. There are times I can listen and sing along. Other times I can't sing due to overwhelming gratitude for Him, our Shalom. Then other times I listen with tears streaming down my face when all I can do is mouth the words. I am praying it will be a blessing to you. It now serves as one of my all time favorites for personal worship. The song is written by James Tealy. As you listen, I am prayerful you, too, will find Him to be your Shalom.

Our Peace.