Big Sigh.
We are praying super, big, God-sized prayers this week at our house! We completed (with the help of friends who wrote recommendation letters, notarized, etc) our dossier this week and turned it in to our agency!!! Basically, the dossier is a combination of all the paperwork we have been working on the past six months. Each piece had to be notarized then sealed at the county level and authenticated again at the state level (hence, our trip to Nashville Monday). So, after making 1.2347 billion copies and compiling the originals in order to go, we were done. I sat in the car driving home from FedExOffice after making all those copies and kept noticing that pile of paperwork. I couldn't help but cry. One time I nearly had to pull over. It feels so surreal and so.. out of my hands. My personality doesn't always thrive on "out of my hands" mode (ahem, yes, I am type A). However, as I cried in the car I couldn't help but be overwhelmed with the assurance that those papers have always been and will continue to be under the tight, precise control of our Heavenly Father, the One who already knows our sweet daughter and every hair on her head. I prayed through my tears that I would continually lean into Him with the wholehearted confidence that those papers in His hands are far better cared for than in mine. I even said aloud to remind myself, "He's got this. He SO has got this." And I believe that. I tend to be task oriented... working hard on something until it is complete. Now that my part of this process is complete, I know there will be days that come that the waiting will be tiresome and the "no news" will be frustrating. However, He has confirmed over and over again throughout this process that details aren't difficult for Him and timing is His specialty. He's got this.
What's next?
When I dropped our dossier off Tuesday I talked with our social worker about what's next. And timing. Of course it is like being a labor nurse when patients would ask me, "how much longer?" To which I usually replied, "if I could answer that I would be a millionaire." There are certainly average time lines to pull from and there exceptions both early and late to every one of those. But, here is what we know:
Our paperwork was sent overnight Tuesday night to Grand Rapids to the Bethany Christian home office. From there, they will review it and make sure it is all in order. Yes, having 3 or 4 sets of eyes reviewing it is necessary... after looking at it as long as we have it all looks the same. Once they confirm it is ready they will send it to the US Consulate in Washington DC for federal authentication. From there it is sent back to Grand Rapids and the Friday following them receiving it they will send it to Ethiopia (they only ship to Ethiopia on Fridays). Once it arrives in Ethiopia it will be translated and sent to wait until we receive and accept a referral. We should get word when it goes off to the Consulate and when Grand Rapids sends it to Ethiopia. The average wait time for a referral of an older child is 3-6 mo. Of course, there are exceptions to the rule, like a couple whose paperwork went to Grand Rapids and when it was just at the Consulate a week later they got a referral because the Grand Rapids office is in touch with the orphanages in Ethiopia they get referrals from. So, once Grand Rapids knows our dossier is in process they are looking for a match for us (a female from 2-5 years). We are praying big, God-sized prayers for a quick referral and for favor in the waiting. He's got this. He SO has got this.
Even if the wait grows long, we stand confidant that He has the little girl already chosen for our family and He knows exactly when she will be declared a McKeehan. Once we accept a referral the average wait time to go to court (our first trip to Ethiopia where Mark and I will meet her and she will legally become our daughter) is 12-15 weeks. We will go to Ethiopia for 10 days and spend a couple of hours each day with her on that trip. Then, we will come home and wait for an Embassy appointment which is (again, on average) 6-8 weeks from the court trip. If there is going to be a delay in the process due to the recent changes in Ethiopian government it would be between the court and Embassy trips. However, so far, the MOWA letters have stayed about on track! Once we go back to Ethiopia for the Embassy trip we will be able to get our daughter the first day and keep her with us from then on! That, too, will last about 10 days then we will come home and introduce her to all of you!
It seems so simple to type out. As you can see, the paperwork being done is just one piece (though a huge one!) to this puzzle. The emotional part of this is something I don't think I could've ever been prepared for. The closer I feel like we are getting, the farther away Ethiopia feels. I am not sure why, it just feels so close, yet so far. Please continue to pray for us as we wait. We are asking for supernatural comfort, for discernment and judgement on the part of those making decisions regarding referral, for efficiency and accuracy of those working on our paperwork/mailing, and for our daughter to somehow know she is thought of, fought for, and loved unconditionally. Just when I get overwhelmed I am reminded that Isaiah teaches us to wait on the Lord for renewed strength. I've blogged about it before, but it tends to get so easy to wait for the next form, next signature, next money, next step. But, none of those renew our strength and all of them are limited in supply. Waiting on the Limitless One renews our strength. I'm so glad I know Him. And I am so glad
He's got this....
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Strangely familiar
Father's Day.
It's familiar... we have a fun family tradition of eating Marble Slab ice cream for dinner on Father's Day. Hey, when it's father's day, Dad decides the menu and he decided years ago it would always be ice cream! We usually work hard to spend time with both of our dads as well.
It's familiar.
But it's also strange....this year. Much like my emotions of Mother's Day, I am sensing Father's Day in the waiting isn't easy either. We spent this morning at Krispy Kreme for breakfast then went out looking for an umbrella for our outdoor table. Mark had suggested that as a Father's day gift. However, when we went to Lowe's he spotted a bug zapper (yes, the kind with the ultraviolet light that attracts bugs and then zaps them). He insisted he wanted the bug zapper for Father's Day. He has vivid and special memories of sitting out on each of his grandfather's porches watching their zappers. So, we got home, he mounted a hook for it, plugged it in, and said, "Now, tonight we can come out here and sit and talk about our Ethiopian Queen."
Sigh.
Father's day isn't easy either.
When I was pregnant all four times I have memories of longing to see and hold the wee one growing inside. I didn't know exactly what he/she would look like, how much each would weigh, and often not even the name. But, I knew I loved each uniquely, wholly, and unconditionally. And, longing for the baby to be born doesn't take away one ounce of love you have the other children in your home... it actually adds to it. Because of the love we have for the other children, we are better able to understand the love and relationship we will have with our newborns.
Adoption can often mimic those emotions. However, there are a few differences. First, the timetable. It is so variable and so unpredictable. Could it be 6 months? With a miracle, yes. Could it be 18 more months? yes. Second, she is alive and away. Our daughter isn't growing safe inside with loving arms awaiting her birth. Loving arms waiting? YOU BET! But, with so much history... every day matters. It's a bit strange to celebrate Father's Day with one child away. I know it isn't easy for Mark and I am praying the enemy doesn't distract him while he stands to speak in a few hours.
On Father's Day, I celebrate my own dad who taught me about strong work ethic, honesty, integrity at all cost, the importance of the Word, and keeping your promises. Because of his impact, I was able to know a good "keeper" when I saw it! I am so grateful for the Dad and husband that Mark is to me and the kids. Here are a few of my favorite things:
-When he pulls Brycen aside before a ball game and tells him that he is proud of him no matter what. To watch them hug and for Mark to say, "Buddy, I will always be your biggest fan."
-When he watches Regan, especially when she dresses up, and he says, "you are so pretty, Regan." You can just see her melt into a huge grin that stretches from ear to ear. Then, some kind of comment about kissing any boys besides "dad, Pap, or Papa will most assuredly give you coodies..." follows.
-When he scoops Corbin up, sits in the recliner with him and whispers, "Hey, don't tell the other kids, but you are my favorite Corbin in the whole wide world" (then he says it to each of the others individually, filling in their name)
-When he holds Hudson close (Hudson is a Daddy's boy!!!) and Hudson puts his fingers in his mouth, lays his head over, and they hold each other for hours.
-When he looks at me and says, "I have thought about our Ethiopian princess a lot today" or "Tonight we can sit outside and talk about our Ethiopian Queen."
sigh. again.
When I began praying for Mark tonight about the emotions of Father's day in the waiting, God began to speak to me about Father's Day in a fresh, new way. No matter what kind of earthly father we have or even what kind of father our children have.... we have much to celebrate on Father's Day as we celebrate a Father who "rejoices over us with love" (Zephaniah 3:17). A Father who has suffered, sacrificed, and loved us before we even knew Him. A Father who I feel certain at some point in His pursuit of each of us said, "Hey, let's talk about (fill in your name). S(he)'s on my mind." Strangely familiar.
Father's day. Full of traditions, full of celebration, full of thanksgiving, full of memories, full of grief, full of anticipation, full of expectation, full of unknowns, full of knowing something is missing. So thankful for a Father who is there, where pain, joy, and real-life intersect offering healing, hope, and grace. I am celebrating my dad, my children's dad, and my Father who adopted me into a royal priesthood. A Father who loved me, thought of me, dreamed for me, and made a way for me at all cost.
Strangely familiar.
It's familiar... we have a fun family tradition of eating Marble Slab ice cream for dinner on Father's Day. Hey, when it's father's day, Dad decides the menu and he decided years ago it would always be ice cream! We usually work hard to spend time with both of our dads as well.
It's familiar.
But it's also strange....this year. Much like my emotions of Mother's Day, I am sensing Father's Day in the waiting isn't easy either. We spent this morning at Krispy Kreme for breakfast then went out looking for an umbrella for our outdoor table. Mark had suggested that as a Father's day gift. However, when we went to Lowe's he spotted a bug zapper (yes, the kind with the ultraviolet light that attracts bugs and then zaps them). He insisted he wanted the bug zapper for Father's Day. He has vivid and special memories of sitting out on each of his grandfather's porches watching their zappers. So, we got home, he mounted a hook for it, plugged it in, and said, "Now, tonight we can come out here and sit and talk about our Ethiopian Queen."
Sigh.
Father's day isn't easy either.
When I was pregnant all four times I have memories of longing to see and hold the wee one growing inside. I didn't know exactly what he/she would look like, how much each would weigh, and often not even the name. But, I knew I loved each uniquely, wholly, and unconditionally. And, longing for the baby to be born doesn't take away one ounce of love you have the other children in your home... it actually adds to it. Because of the love we have for the other children, we are better able to understand the love and relationship we will have with our newborns.
Adoption can often mimic those emotions. However, there are a few differences. First, the timetable. It is so variable and so unpredictable. Could it be 6 months? With a miracle, yes. Could it be 18 more months? yes. Second, she is alive and away. Our daughter isn't growing safe inside with loving arms awaiting her birth. Loving arms waiting? YOU BET! But, with so much history... every day matters. It's a bit strange to celebrate Father's Day with one child away. I know it isn't easy for Mark and I am praying the enemy doesn't distract him while he stands to speak in a few hours.
On Father's Day, I celebrate my own dad who taught me about strong work ethic, honesty, integrity at all cost, the importance of the Word, and keeping your promises. Because of his impact, I was able to know a good "keeper" when I saw it! I am so grateful for the Dad and husband that Mark is to me and the kids. Here are a few of my favorite things:
-When he pulls Brycen aside before a ball game and tells him that he is proud of him no matter what. To watch them hug and for Mark to say, "Buddy, I will always be your biggest fan."
-When he watches Regan, especially when she dresses up, and he says, "you are so pretty, Regan." You can just see her melt into a huge grin that stretches from ear to ear. Then, some kind of comment about kissing any boys besides "dad, Pap, or Papa will most assuredly give you coodies..." follows.
-When he scoops Corbin up, sits in the recliner with him and whispers, "Hey, don't tell the other kids, but you are my favorite Corbin in the whole wide world" (then he says it to each of the others individually, filling in their name)
-When he holds Hudson close (Hudson is a Daddy's boy!!!) and Hudson puts his fingers in his mouth, lays his head over, and they hold each other for hours.
-When he looks at me and says, "I have thought about our Ethiopian princess a lot today" or "Tonight we can sit outside and talk about our Ethiopian Queen."
sigh. again.
When I began praying for Mark tonight about the emotions of Father's day in the waiting, God began to speak to me about Father's Day in a fresh, new way. No matter what kind of earthly father we have or even what kind of father our children have.... we have much to celebrate on Father's Day as we celebrate a Father who "rejoices over us with love" (Zephaniah 3:17). A Father who has suffered, sacrificed, and loved us before we even knew Him. A Father who I feel certain at some point in His pursuit of each of us said, "Hey, let's talk about (fill in your name). S(he)'s on my mind." Strangely familiar.
Father's day. Full of traditions, full of celebration, full of thanksgiving, full of memories, full of grief, full of anticipation, full of expectation, full of unknowns, full of knowing something is missing. So thankful for a Father who is there, where pain, joy, and real-life intersect offering healing, hope, and grace. I am celebrating my dad, my children's dad, and my Father who adopted me into a royal priesthood. A Father who loved me, thought of me, dreamed for me, and made a way for me at all cost.
Strangely familiar.
Monday, June 13, 2011
In the Waiting....
UPDATE:
IT CAME! IT CAME!!! IT CAME!!!!!!!!!!!! Our last and final form for our dossier arrived in the mail this morning so we spent the rest of the day running around crazy getting all of our paperwork just perfect. Tomorrow I will take it to the county clerk's office for county seals and then we will likely drive it to Nashville at the beginning of next week for state seals. After that it will go to our agency, who will then forward it to the US consulate for federal approval. Then it's OFF TO ETHIOPIA! The process from us taking it to our agency after the county and state seals to it arriving in Ethiopia for translation is around 3 weeks. Prayers for efficient, effective mail service, please! Grateful beyond words.
Original Post:
It has been a wild few weeks for us, so the blog needs some cobwebs to come down!
Our family has been battling viruses, infected bug bites (that ended up with staph & cellulitis), double ear infections, my biopsy site became infected 10 days post-procedure, strep throat, & high fevers. Wanna come over for dinner? Ahem, just kidding. Oh, wait, did I forget in the middle of it all we spent time at Disney (thanks to sweet friends who treated us to a place to stay!). We also made our trek to Nashville for fingerprinting on May 17. The following week I met with our agency & got the final list of paperwork needed to complete our dossier (the big batch of paperwork sent to Ethiopia). The only form we are waiting for is the form issued from immigration that can't be processed until our fingerprints are done. So, guess what I do everyday? Run to the mailbox with high hopes. So far, we continue to wait.
But, in the waiting.......
God continues to do a supernatural work in us. The week prior to our Disney trip was also our anniversary. So, we decided to get away for dinner. Sitter was found, reservations were made. There was only one problem: I cried most of the day. The way God wires us with emotions during the adoption process continues to astound me. On the one hand our daughter felt so close. On the other hand, she felt light years away. My heart was heavy and sad throughout the day. As the day went on I prayed, crying out for comfort for my grief so I could focus on 11 amazing years with my man! I pulled it together enough to get dressed & get the kids fed. However, we didn't make it far when I confessed to Mark that I had had a tough day thinking about our daughter. He chuckled & said, "That's just like God. I've thought about her all day, too." In that moment it occurred to me.... God did send comfort, but it was in the words & sympathy of my sweet husband. We talked through it, cried a little, & enjoyed a great anniversary date.
In the waiting......
God continually grabs my heart in scripture when I read about my rebellion against Him, yet He shows mercy, grace, & steadfast forgiveness towards me. In that, I'm reminded of my need for a Spiritual Father & a Savior. How blessed to know that both are found in the person of Jesus Christ. In my rebellion He chose to adopt me and make me His own. Just tonight Mark & I came across a song by Third Day that is about adoption (www.third day.com/adopted). A man who spoke at the beginning of the song spoke such truth that i was in tears over God's graciousness toward us. He said (& I am not quoting) that adoption had taught him that his adopted children are no different than his natural children to him. And we consider how that translates to our spiritual life, when God adopts us we are no different to Him than His very own son.
Unbelievable.
In the waiting......
I'm learning so much about grace. Packing for & going on vacation nearly killed me. I kept feeling like I was leaving someone out. Repeatedly I would have to remind myself that God's plan & timing are all perfectly calculated. In those minutes & hours of missing her I found God's grace to be sufficient. Without fail. Then, I laughed (though through tears sometimes) while we were gone and 3 of the 4 kids were sick that I was distracted from pondering it too much because I had 3 antibiotics, steroids, Motrin, Tylenol, cough syrup, antacids, and Phenergan to administer to 4 kids who were sick on vacation. In it all we had a great time and again, His grace kept me from bawling my eyes out on more than one occasion!
In the waiting.....
I am seeing God grow our kids into giants of faith! Brycen had to fill out a paper Sunday morning in his small group about a faith journey. One of his questions read, "What have you had to have faith in God for or what was happening in your life when He surprised you in a big way?" My eyes filled with tears immediately when I read his response in red magic marker this morning when I found it. He wrote, "God surprised me that I was getting a sister from Ethiopia!!" I don't think I give this process enough credit for what it's doing IN each of us individually as well as together. When we shared with the kids this week that we only lacked our travel money for the adoption Regan looked at me, like only she can, & said, "Oh good, Momma! That will be easy to get!" I laughed, knowing the cost in my mind (so does she!!) but also knowing she wouldn't have changed her answer even if she had a better grasp of how much money that really is. As we were leaving the Magic Kingdom the last night I said, "guess what? Next time we are here you all will have a new sister!" Later Regan said, "Momma, my sissy is gonna love Disney. And even if she doesn't it will be fun to show her." Yes, sweet pea, it will. I'm thinking about that day more and more....
In the waiting.
IT CAME! IT CAME!!! IT CAME!!!!!!!!!!!! Our last and final form for our dossier arrived in the mail this morning so we spent the rest of the day running around crazy getting all of our paperwork just perfect. Tomorrow I will take it to the county clerk's office for county seals and then we will likely drive it to Nashville at the beginning of next week for state seals. After that it will go to our agency, who will then forward it to the US consulate for federal approval. Then it's OFF TO ETHIOPIA! The process from us taking it to our agency after the county and state seals to it arriving in Ethiopia for translation is around 3 weeks. Prayers for efficient, effective mail service, please! Grateful beyond words.
Original Post:
It has been a wild few weeks for us, so the blog needs some cobwebs to come down!
Our family has been battling viruses, infected bug bites (that ended up with staph & cellulitis), double ear infections, my biopsy site became infected 10 days post-procedure, strep throat, & high fevers. Wanna come over for dinner? Ahem, just kidding. Oh, wait, did I forget in the middle of it all we spent time at Disney (thanks to sweet friends who treated us to a place to stay!). We also made our trek to Nashville for fingerprinting on May 17. The following week I met with our agency & got the final list of paperwork needed to complete our dossier (the big batch of paperwork sent to Ethiopia). The only form we are waiting for is the form issued from immigration that can't be processed until our fingerprints are done. So, guess what I do everyday? Run to the mailbox with high hopes. So far, we continue to wait.
But, in the waiting.......
God continues to do a supernatural work in us. The week prior to our Disney trip was also our anniversary. So, we decided to get away for dinner. Sitter was found, reservations were made. There was only one problem: I cried most of the day. The way God wires us with emotions during the adoption process continues to astound me. On the one hand our daughter felt so close. On the other hand, she felt light years away. My heart was heavy and sad throughout the day. As the day went on I prayed, crying out for comfort for my grief so I could focus on 11 amazing years with my man! I pulled it together enough to get dressed & get the kids fed. However, we didn't make it far when I confessed to Mark that I had had a tough day thinking about our daughter. He chuckled & said, "That's just like God. I've thought about her all day, too." In that moment it occurred to me.... God did send comfort, but it was in the words & sympathy of my sweet husband. We talked through it, cried a little, & enjoyed a great anniversary date.
In the waiting......
God continually grabs my heart in scripture when I read about my rebellion against Him, yet He shows mercy, grace, & steadfast forgiveness towards me. In that, I'm reminded of my need for a Spiritual Father & a Savior. How blessed to know that both are found in the person of Jesus Christ. In my rebellion He chose to adopt me and make me His own. Just tonight Mark & I came across a song by Third Day that is about adoption (www.third day.com/adopted). A man who spoke at the beginning of the song spoke such truth that i was in tears over God's graciousness toward us. He said (& I am not quoting) that adoption had taught him that his adopted children are no different than his natural children to him. And we consider how that translates to our spiritual life, when God adopts us we are no different to Him than His very own son.
Unbelievable.
In the waiting......
I'm learning so much about grace. Packing for & going on vacation nearly killed me. I kept feeling like I was leaving someone out. Repeatedly I would have to remind myself that God's plan & timing are all perfectly calculated. In those minutes & hours of missing her I found God's grace to be sufficient. Without fail. Then, I laughed (though through tears sometimes) while we were gone and 3 of the 4 kids were sick that I was distracted from pondering it too much because I had 3 antibiotics, steroids, Motrin, Tylenol, cough syrup, antacids, and Phenergan to administer to 4 kids who were sick on vacation. In it all we had a great time and again, His grace kept me from bawling my eyes out on more than one occasion!
In the waiting.....
I am seeing God grow our kids into giants of faith! Brycen had to fill out a paper Sunday morning in his small group about a faith journey. One of his questions read, "What have you had to have faith in God for or what was happening in your life when He surprised you in a big way?" My eyes filled with tears immediately when I read his response in red magic marker this morning when I found it. He wrote, "God surprised me that I was getting a sister from Ethiopia!!" I don't think I give this process enough credit for what it's doing IN each of us individually as well as together. When we shared with the kids this week that we only lacked our travel money for the adoption Regan looked at me, like only she can, & said, "Oh good, Momma! That will be easy to get!" I laughed, knowing the cost in my mind (so does she!!) but also knowing she wouldn't have changed her answer even if she had a better grasp of how much money that really is. As we were leaving the Magic Kingdom the last night I said, "guess what? Next time we are here you all will have a new sister!" Later Regan said, "Momma, my sissy is gonna love Disney. And even if she doesn't it will be fun to show her." Yes, sweet pea, it will. I'm thinking about that day more and more....
In the waiting.
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