breakdown

Hello from Addis Ababa!  We are 10 days in and finally starting to get into a rhythm with Africa life. Everyone slept until 8am, so that was a great start to the day.  We woke and headed straight down to breakfast... Brycen was even still sporting his bed head at the breakfast table.  Breakfast today was crustless quiche and it was delicious.  I don't normally eat eggs, but today I made an exception... they had spinach in them and they were delicious.  Since we didn't have plans to go out today, we came back up to the room and played some games.  We played "uno," but when Asnake plays Uno, all we really do is divide the cards up somewhat evenly among all the players and we each lay a card down in a pile when it's our turn.  It's really not a game, but he thinks it is and he gets to win every time.  Another family arrived at the guesthouse who are also staying for one trip.  They are adopting a sibling group of three and they brought their two biological children (both teenagers) with them.  So, we spent some of the morning out getting to know them.  The guesthouse was so quiet our first week since we were the only ones here.  It has livened up and we welcome the company!
After Uno, we did some English and math, played with blocks, and gave Asnake M&M's.  I am not sure if he had ever had them before, but he seemed to enjoy them very much.  Mark played "tackle" football with Asnake in our room and got tons of giggles.  Asnake also watched VeggieTales and Thomas the Train videos from the guesthouse today!  Lunch was ready, as usual, at noon and today the meal CRAZY GOOD.  We had a veggie mix of cucumber, tomatoes, onions, and avocados with an avocado dressing of some sort.  There was another veggie combo of zucchini and cauliflower that had been cooked and we had a choice of pasta or rice with it.  There was also chocolate cake... Asnake did NOT miss that!  It was all AMAZING and we stayed in the dining room chatting with the other families for a long time while Asnake played with some baby toys that are in the living room for another family that is here with a one year old.
After the lunch festivities, we headed back upstairs and then decided to go play outside.  So, all 5 o us went outside and kicked around a soccer ball.  At one point, Asnake said to Mark (in English), "Dad, can we go upstairs?  Families stick together."  This nearly made me cry, because the book I am re-reading ("The Connected Child"), says to teach this saying when children have a tendency to run ahead of their parents or not stay with their parents.  I started saying it to him day before yesterday whenever he would start to walk out of the room without one of us or when he would get too far ahead going up or down stairs.  Turns out, it works!  And, his English is so good! Then, we gave him his iPod to play with for a designated amount of time (the iPod he has had every day, but today he didn't want to put it down, so we made time limits).  He struggled being patient while games loaded and he struggled by telling us "no" when we asked him to be all done (and we had given him time warnings in advance that his time was almost up).  Finally, Mark got firm (without yelling) and took the iPod away.  Asnake withdrew and went to sit in front of the bathroom door alone.  I went over and offered other suggestions of things for him to do, but he remained quiet.  I finally reached for him, put him on my lap, and for the first time, felt a tear on my shirt.  His tears were quiet and my heart broke, but I knew we had to be consistent in establishing we are the authority and we make the rules.  I was so grateful that during his breakdown, he allowed us to hold him and kiss him.  He hid his face a few times, trying to keep us from seeing his tears.  I repeatedly told him it was ok to be sad or angry, but it wasn't ok to be disrespectful.  All of this happened around 5 and I knew Mengistu was coming back around 5:30pm.  The majority of the 30 minutes we sat holding him in silence.  This is just all a lot to process for us all.  Mengistu has repeatedly told us to let him know if/when we need him for these types of things.  Brycen and Regan decided to hang out in the lobby to wait for dinner, so about 5:20pm we had a knock at our door.... Mengistu.  Regan had informed him we might need him.  And, we did.  He came in and when Asnake saw him, his tears really fell.  Mengistu asked if he missed his friends.  He answered, "no."  So, Mengistu went on to explain to Asnake that we, as his parents, set the rules, and the way we do that is by telling him "no" sometimes.  I don't know everything he told him because I couldn't understand it all.  I do know Asnake hung on his every word and in just a couple of minutes, he was smiling again, sitting on our laps, and Mengistu said, "He wants to learn to the right thing.  He says he wants to."  So, we explained to Asnake (through Mengistu) that we are learning, too.  It's just all new for all of us.  We assured him we loved him all the time, no matter what, forever.  Mengistu was wise to remind us that in Asnake's particular orphanage, there were lots of "white" visitors and missionaries who would come to visit.  So, when "white people" came, they brought donations and candy and the kids knew they could get what they wanted.  It's so sad, but it's so true.  So, it's a hard transition to go into a "white" family and then, all of a sudden, you are told "no" and boundaries are set.  It was a great reminder of what, perhaps, Asnake's expectations might be.  We know our own expectations, but to think about what his expectations might be was a good thing.
After Mengistu's encouragement to us that this is all "normal" (which we knew, but the reminder is good), it was time for dinner.  PIZZA.  We even had GF pizza.  We had made plans walking down the steps to dinner that the plan would be (remember holding up fingers for each one?) dinner (1), iPod time (2), shower (3), movie (4).  And, he had already picked out "Toy Story," for tonight's featured selection.  So, that was the plan and we stuck to it! After dinner, Mark and Asnake opened a window downstairs and watched the birds.  They made bird sounds and tried to (pretend) to catch birds out the window.  It was funny and full of giggles.
In way of paperwork today, we did find out our agency is waiting on a letter for the kebele (I don't know from who, but I think court).  Once they receive that letter, we will take the letter and our court decree to the kebele with our attorney's in order to try to get them printing what we need.  Having a plan is good.. so, let's continue to pray they print the adoption certificate one way or the other.  I prefer the "just do it because it's the right thing to do" approach rather than the "let us threaten you or try to intimidate you into it" approach.  But, at this point, I think, "Whatever works."  We are really hoping we could maybe do that Monday, Tuesday at the latest.
The kids were ready for bed as soon as the feature presentation was over tonight and they all fell asleep in less than 5 minutes.  Tomorrow we will head out around 9am for a trip to the largest market in Addis.  So, it'll be a shopping day and then out to lunch.  Your prayers for us are a gift and we are praying for "our people."  I am so thankful God hears and knows and continues to unite and knit our hearts together from 8500 miles away.  He isn't intimidated by our distance, our needs, or our breakdowns.  For that, I am so grateful!!


Until WE'RE home,
Carrie