Tissues

I am just going to hit the ground running tonight. No small talk about the election, or the weather, or the fact that many of you have a long weekend coming up.  Today was super full and it's gonna take a while.
Tyson and I woke early so we could be ready to go at 8am to finish up his Visa medical exam.  Turns out the election news (as it wasn't officially "called" yet) made it a tee-tiny bit difficult to leave since I was going to be without wifi all day.  But I survived and turns out I got to see it all anyway.  But, I am getting ahead of myself.  So, we ate breakfast and headed out the door.  Remember Monday when traffic was my worst claustrophobic nightmare terrible and it took us two hours to get to the clinic?  Well, we left 30 minutes later today and arrived 40 minutes earlier than Monday. GO FIGURE.  Our appointment wasn't until 10am (to have the TB skin test read), but we arrived early and Mengistu was already at Kaldi's waiting so we joined him for buna.  Tyson went for the chocolate donut and chai again.  There was a TV on CNN just over my right shoulder so I didn't miss much.  Then, about 20 minutes later the nurse met us and we went to the clinic, which was just a short walk behind Kaldi's.  The technician working looked at Tyson's right forearm and declared his test negative in about 12 seconds or less.  Mengistu asked if we could have the results sent to the Embassy this morning rather the (normal procedure of) afternoon.  The tech said he could send them IF we obtained a letter from the pediatrician at Such-and-Such Hospital.  Turns out, Mengistu explained, that was the exact hospital we were headed to in an effort to complete Tyson's exam.  So, off we went to the hospital.  I will spare you all of the details, but in way of third-world countries it was pretty nice.  We went into floor one and the nurse rattled off some info and in about 5 minutes they had Tyson's folder.  Then it was off to upstairs.  I was pleasantly surprised to read "pediatrician" over one door, indicating we had come to the right place.  We stood in the hall a few minutes waiting and then Mergitu (the nurse with us) motioned for us to come in.  We did and Tyson had his vital signs taken.  Then, off to another room, this one labeled "exam room 2."  The pediatrician had a full sized desk in the exam room and when we entered she asked about the election (she had been at the US embassy for breakfast) and then asked about Tyson.  She looked him over and said she would finalize his paperwork for the embassy as soon as she had the TB skin test results.  With that, we received a letter from her to take back to the clinic.  Shew!  We were in and out in 15 minutes or less.  Moving along faster than I suspected.
So, we drove BACK to the clinic and then while Mergitu took the TB test results BACK to the hospital, Mengistu, Tyson, and I went to a swanky hotel lobby to watch the news and grab a snack.  It was there I was able to watch my first live TV in a month!  It was Donald Trump's acceptance speech and I will stay out of politics and just say, I am glad I was able to watch.  The longer I am away, the more I realize that regardless of the results (whether I like it or don't), we still live in the greatest nation on earth with wealth that is killing us and freedom that is wasted.  Another post for another day. But, we need to stop our whining and complaining.  Off soapbox.
Finally, we were off to Bethany for Mengistu to do a few things and for Mergitu to get all the medical papers to Superman Tesfahun so he could submit them to the embassy this afternoon.  There was one minor detail I forgot to mention about our car ride from the clinic to the hospital (the first time).  Mengistu said, "Meselu (our social worker with Bethany here) called me and said she had tentatively scheduled the birth family meeting for today, but she hasn't been able to contact the birth mom since. So, she might be on her way.  If she is, you will meet her today.  If not, it will be tomorrow."  *my mouth gaping open* "Today?" He replied with a "yes, maybe.  We will wait to hear from Meselu."  HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO THINK AFTER THAT?????  And, I was DYING to tell Mark.  Anyway....
So, once we arrived at Bethany I needed to print the confirmation email from that masters degree form from yesterday to submit with Embassy paperwork.  While there I went to Tesfahun's office and Meselu was sitting in his office along with Mengistu, Tyson, and Mergitu. POWER TEAM.  Meselu said she had gotten in touch with Tyson's birth mom, Maso, and she would be bringing her by TONIGHT to meet us.  THE WHOLE WORLD STOPPED.  I swallowed hard and thanked her for working so hard to get it worked out.  And then, I got teary eyed just thinking about it.  We came back to the guesthouse and I ran up the steps to tell Mark about the medicals being finished and about the birth family meeting.  We looked at each other like, "THIS IS REALLY HAPPENING."  In a few minutes Mark jumped in the shower and I began writing down questions, adding to  my previous list to ask Maso.  I looked back through the photo book we had made for her of pictures of Tyson.  We put a few photos inside of our family and our house, but mostly of him.  I prayed over it, hoping it would be a treasure to her.  We straightened up the room a bit and I finally sat down to think.  But, thinking TOO much wasn't good for me or I was going to start crying and NOT BE ABLE TO STOP (you Momma's out there better give me an AMEN. I know that you know....).  So, I folded dirty laundry (not kidding) and sorted clothes and prayed.
Six years ago today we started this process.  And eleven days later on the other side of the globe a young girl had a baby boy. Today, God saw fit to not just merge those world's, but to collide them together.  It was about 5pm when Meselu called to say she was 10 minutes away with Maso.  My heart raced and I had to go to the bathroom like 12 times.  Then, we headed downstairs to wait.  It felt like 2 hours.  I paced and straightened the pillows on the couches and then straightened them again.  I wanted to love her well.  Finally, I saw the small gray car pull up that I had been in all morning.  Out stepped Meselu and then, there she was.  Her face was familiar from pictures, but she is far more beautiful in person.  She also had a man with her, who it turns out, is her boss.  He and his wife and children had made the SEVEN HOUR DRIVE to come to meet us.  More on him and his family later.
The big question you probably have is WHAT DID TYSON THINK?  Well, Meselu and I had discussed earlier today that since he has no memory of his birth mom, it might be best to just have the meeting, let him meet Maso, take photos together, and when he is older, we will explain who she is.  Otherwise, WHO COULD PROCESS THAT AT AGE 5 WITH A 10 MINUTE WARNING?  no one could.  So, he just knew Meselu was coming and that we were having a meeting.
Because he was clueless about who Maso was, he was standing at the door (as always) and opened it as soon as they walked to the guesthouse door.  Meselu walked in first, then Maso, then her boss.  She didn't initially acknowledge Tyson much, but I am not sure she knew it was it him right away.  So, I introduced myself with a handshake first trying not to grab her up and rock her in a rocking chair all night scare her to death with a hug.  Then, Mark introduced himself, then Brycen, then Regan.  About that time, Meselu grabbed Tyson's hand and it was then Maso realized it was him.  We walked to the adjacent living room and went to the couches that were the most private.  She sat on one end of the couch and I sat with comfortable space between us on the couch beside her.  I wanted to move closer and keep my hand on her, but I didn't want to overstep my boundaries.  My first impression was: SHE IS BEAUTIFUL AND HE LOOKS JUST LIKE HER.  Her frame is so petite and her face still so young.   Mark and Meselu and her boss each sat in dining room chairs across from us, forming a circle.  We made small talk about how long it took them to come (I almost died when she said 7 hours!).  Then, we asked about how she knew the man  accompanying her... she started working for him and his wife just after she took Tyson to the orphanage when he was 6 mo old.  She lives at their house taking care of their house and their children.  Oh, and she goes to school full-time.  Then, I started with questions... her birthday (which she doesn't know, but she does think she knows her age), how Tyson was as an infant (she said quiet and that he didn't cry much).  We discussed her pregnancy, her labor, her delivery and her favorite memories of him while she had him.  She said when she thinks of him she remembers that he was starting to sit up when she took him to the orphanage.  That was so tender to me.  Milestones for Momma's are a big deal.  She hadn't forgotten.  Rest assured, she never will.  The next 20 minutes was questions and talking... we told her about us, our family, our church, our kids, etc.  She answered our questions, but she was very quiet and reserved... UNDERSTANDABLE.  We asked about her dreams for him, her dreams for herself, and about what she would want him to know about her when he is older.  We discussed her hobbies (she likes to read and she likes chemistry.  Remember his "tall" mind?  He totally comes by it honest).  As she spoke I tried to memorize every freckle on her young, beautiful face.  Then, for a split second tried to calculate if it would be feasible to just take her home with us, too.  I want to love on her.  Good grief, she's brave.  I was somewhat of a basket case emotional, but Mark said all the right things when our questions were finished.  He looked her straight in the face and told her how brave we think she is.  He told her that we are so thankful for her  and that she gave Tyson something we couldn't and we wanted to honor her by giving him something now that she couldn't.  I spoke up and assured her that we would love him forever and that he would have every opportunity that our biological children would have.  I told her (through tears) that I am so thankful she wanted to meet us because one of my life's richest blessings was being able to meet her.  AND I MEANT IT.  The grief and loss that her one heart and life has endured overwhelms me... from losing her father when she was young to having no choice but to lose her son when she wasn't much older.  I asked her how we could pray for her.  She gave us things to pray for.  Then, I told her that we had started this process 6 years ago today and because he wasn't born yet, I had prayed for her and for him every single day of his life.  It was the first time I saw tears form in her eyes and she was able to bat them away.  She repeatedly, softly answered, "Ishi," which means "ok."  She did thank me for our prayers and said she was so happy for him to have a family like ours.  She was excited to hear Mark was a protestant pastor, as she comes from one of the only protestant tribes in the south.  When we told her about Tyson memorizing scripture in the orphanage with Haset, she grew teary-eyed again.  That made her SO happy to hear.  Can you imagine all the days she wondered if he was ok, eating, being cared for in the orphanage?  So to hear today that he was not only eating and thriving, but he was learning about Jesus and memorizing scriptures had to be healing for her.  Healing still flows through the hem of His garment and I could see healing coming to her broken heart.  We assured her we would take him to the best eye doctors we could find to correct his nystagmus.  And, gratefully, I was able to muster up the words to let her know his condition is one he was born with and not one she caused in any way.  Tears for the third time.  It wasn't much longer that Meselu asked if we wanted pictures.  UM YES.  So, we got pictures with her and then we called Tyson over (he had been playing with the kids and eating dinner on the other end of the large room).  He came over and stood with us for pictures.  Finally, I stepped aside and let Maso and Tyson have  pictures together.  First she stooped down to have their faces closer to one another.  Then, we told her she could pick him....I am crying as I type.  What she must have felt to lift him up again.  To hold him again.  She put her cheek against his cheek and I literally gasped and looked at Meselu and said, "TWINS."  She agreed. I was so thankful her boss had a smart phone and he took pictures for her to keep of seeing him again and meeting us.  Isn't the Lord kind?
Next, we asked if Mark could pray over her.  So, we stood in a circle, Maso was between Mark and me with one arm around each of us, then Brycen, Tyson, Meselu.  Right there in a circle, Mark prayed grace, hope, favor, peace, and comfort over her.  She and I both cried, even though she couldn't understand the prayer, I believe God answered my prayers for her to know how much we love her.  WE ARE SO FOR HER.  I knew human words could never say what my heart felt, but I knew Holy Spirit could.  He did.
After pictures I asked if she had time to play with Tyson for a minute as Meselu was going to spend time with the other family at the house.  I took Tyson over to the toys and tried to get him interested in something.  It didn't take long.  He found a book with farm animals, body parts, colors, fruit, etc.  Once he opened it and Maso crouched beside him, I backed away.  I have forever to read with him.  This was her day.  I don't know what they said to one another, but they talked and had a few smiles and laughs.  Then, I walked over and had him say letters as I pointed them out.  I videoed them together, knowing this will be a treasure to us all in years to come.  It's a treasure to me today.  After the alphabet, I asked if he wanted to draw on the dry erase board.  It took a second to find the red marker, but we did!  Then, it didn't work, so we switched to yellow.  I said, "Do you want to write your alphabet or draw a flower or a sun?"  He said, "Flower."  And off he went.  He drew a flower and when he was finishing she asked him if it was for her and he said, "Yes, this flower is for you."  When he had finished he held up his dry erase board with the biggest smile on his face.
It was finally time for them to go and as they walked out of the living room toward the lobby, I asked Tyson if he wanted to hold Maso's hand walking out.  He grabbed her hand and they walked from the living room to the lobby together.  I stood behind, trying to soak it all in.  She bent down in front of the door and kissed him on the cheek.  Then she stood and we hugged.  She put her face in my right shoulder and I embraced her with a long, hard hug while tears streamed down my face.  I told her thank you and that I loved her.  Then I hugged her again.  She hugged Mark and the big kids and just as she was slipping out the door she reached down and kissed Tyson on the right cheek one last time.
I am a crying mess typing this, but as I have said over and over... grief and joy do not coexist in any other form like the they coexist in adoption.  Five and half years ago she walked away, not knowing if she would see him again.  Today, she walked away fairly certain she wouldn't see him again.  I had to come upstairs and be alone for a few minutes to just cry.  I don't know if she cried pulling away or if the joy outweighed the grief.  I just know that the two sides of the coin of adoption are conflicting and beautiful, opposite and complimentary.  I have no doubt in my mind that she knows we love him and that we are going to take care of him.  But, I couldn't help but think of all the sleepless nights she was probably up with him as an infant, just the two of them.  As a young teenager, trying to navigate working, feeding, providing, and parenting.
Yet, here we were, six years later.  The Lord gave us the gift to cry together, to look at each other, and to walk away knowing we couldn't do it without the other.  I so long to honor her for the way she has loved him, even since that day when he was 6 months old and she relinquished him.  She has made a way for him to be adopted.  Without her coming 7 hours to court or being willing to be interviewed by two governments, none of this would be possible.  And then to come today.... how she must love him.  My heart is so full that we had the privilege to meet her, to see her with him, and to let her know she's loved, cherished, and appreciated.  She kept saying, "God bless you all."  I just wanted to say, "He already has and you are a big part of that."  But, something in me knew she already knew that.  I am praying as she cares for her bosses children everyday, one of them similar in age to Tyson, that she finds healing there.  I pray she finds healing in going to school in order to fulfill her dream to be a teacher and by investing in the lives of children.  Above all, I pray she finds healing in the mighty name of Jesus.   I believe Him for it and trust her to His tender care.  As she lays her head on her pillow tonight, likely staying in a hotel with air conditioning for the first time in her life, I pray she finds rest in knowing her bravery and courage have laid the path for others to see and know  Jesus.  As we each play our God-given roles in this thing, His purpose is clear: HIS GLORY.  Without her, we can't fulfill what He has called us to.  And, in the obeying and surrendering, we each play our part and somehow, He takes it and uses it to demonstrate a sacrificial love that was given for all mankind.  He takes her selflessness and somehow makes us the beneficiaries, just like when God gave Jesus to die that we might walk away with life.  I am just undone at the whole thing tonight.  Overwhelmed by her sacrifice.  Overwhelmed by Jesus' sacrifice.  Humbled to my deepest core by her courage to do the hardest thing in order for the one she loves to be given life.
Only Jesus writes these stories and when He chooses to pen us in in even the smallest role, I just fall at His feet in gratitude.  Tonight, gratitude is my anthem.
Thank you for loving us well.  Thank you for praying for Maso and her mom who is aging and therefore making work more difficult.  Thank you for sharing Jesus when you share about our adoption.  This is His story and we are the stewards.  Honored to walk it out with you.

Until WE'RE home,
carrie