New Perspectives

Happy Thanksgiving Eve! 
Our house is bustling with kids outside climbing and riding, kids downstairs playing school, and one on the couch watching football (you can figure it out).  The one on the couch watching football is also the one I took to Waffle House for breakfast this morning, despite his not going to school for the half-day.  We had both been missing our Wednesday morning breakfasts.  For those new to the blog, at our house, your 8th grade year you go to breakfast with mom one morning a week (6th grade is Dad, 10th is Dad, 12th is mom).  So, we started the day with grits and bacon.  Ok, I started the day with grits and bacon.  He had something covered, smothered, capped, and  I don't know what.  But, Mrs. June knows and she always has it waiting us at "our" table (We love you, June!).  After breakfast, I came home to jump into cooking up a storm  preparing for Thanksgiving.  Being in the kitchen is one of my favorite things of all time.  So, no complaints here, but somebody come save me when it comes to cleaning it all up I don't prefer the clean-up.  It's all finished and ready now!  But, all that time in the kitchen today minus the 30 minutes Regan and Tyson helped with pecan pie bars gave me time to reflect on the past few days.  I am going to be honest....Momma can't seem to get into a normal routine since we arrived back.  I am not sure exactly WHY, but it could be the mounds of laundry and crazy busy time of the year the time of year and the laundry.  We only grew by one so I don't really have a logical explanation for why the laundry has increased exponentially.  Please, I insist that you stop and see the mayhem for yourself over on my Instagram feed.   It was not staged (though everything in me wishes it had been).  I think it all goes back to not being in a normal routine where I am doing it everyday because IT'S THE BUSIEST TIME OF THE YEAR.  Blah-blah-blah.  It's all fine and we will NOT die from laundry overload.... unless you are a McKeehan child who knows HOW to do laundry and you do not do it on your designated day (or at all).  Then, it's all up for debate. 
As I type, I have to let you know that two things happened in the past 24 hours that have encouraged me to keep up with the blog a little more often.  I have concluded that I can write and if you want to, you can read.  No one is forcing either of us, so it makes it all kinds of fun!  I have been overwhelmed with how many people from all over the country and world have been reading along.  I just had no idea when I decided to type my journal,  rather than write it, that so many of you would want to follow along.  But, yesterday as Tyson and I were loading up in the car at the church (after FCA Thanksgiving lunch with the kids), a friend was pulling in and told me she had something for me.  I stuck the gift in my car after telling her thank you without opening it first.  She texted me later to let me know she was just the deliverer, that the gift wasn't from her.  That prompted me to want to open it despite the fact I was at my THIRD grocery store of the day ready to just DIE because of all the people right there in my car as I sat in a parking lot.  I am typing on what was inside.... a brand new HP Notebook to encourage me to write more.  What most of you don't know is that I have been using Mark's laptop to do blog posts.  Many nights he doesn't bring his laptop home or if he does he needs it for work.  SO, while in Ethiopia I was afforded the privilege of blogging more because we were on the same schedule and I couldn't ever sleep all night. So, with a heart of gratitude (and tears sitting in my eyes), I am typing on my own laptop.  It's already been such an encouragement to me to keep writing. Thank you, generous blog reader and friend.  I am genuinely undone with gratitude. I want to steward your generosity and thoughtfulness well.
 Secondly, earlier today Mark walked in with a package addressed to me, but I didn't recognize the return address.  So, I opened the big box and found the sweetest note inside from a friend I met last year working at the Statemint consignment sale (hugs and thanks, Chandra!).  She included gifts for Tyson's birthday, my birthday, an ornament that says "best year ever 2016," and a small poster to frame that reads, "It's the little things."  The gifts were all so thoughtful, but her words on the card are what meant the most.  She said the blog had become part of her daily devotions while we were in Ethiopia.  Tears immediately came to my eyes.  After all the heart ache, delays, waiting, and doubts, Jesus came through.  Again.  He chose to mend what had felt and seemed so broken.  In the process, He used it all to bring others, including us, closer to Him.  Only Jesus.
As I have been typing, we had a slight fall outside from atop of the climbing dome from near the top of the climbing dome.  A brown-eyed boy came straight to his Mommy and curled up in my lap.  Seems as though Mommy seemed to make it all alright. 
Back to what I was previously saying....
All of the Thanksgiving trees (which are so great, by the way!), posts, and texts have had me giving so much of the past 10 days a new perspective.  We are over-the-moon about having Tyson home.  Nothing compares to having everyone home under one roof arguing and playing.  Mostly playing.  But, it isn't all easy.  I am learning to be grateful for the laundry piles, the disheveled coat hangers, and the Matchbox cars that are overtaking our house that are everywhere.  When you disrupt your family tapestry and flow, there are bound to be repercussions.  Ours have been minimal and we are so grateful for that.  We have the tearful-more-than-normal biological child who seems to be adjusting well, but "gets" that things are different.  Not the we-have-a-playmate-here-for-an-extended-visit different.  The permanent, our-lives-are-forever-changed different.  It is all normal and GOOD.  Sharing things, rooms, parents, siblings, and time with others is HARD.  I get that and we pray we have fostered a home where they can voice what they are feeling with no condemnation. All things considered, all the kids have done exceptionally well... better than I anticipated, actually.   But, the perspective is new and fresh because this season of life reminds me that we have another blessing at home TO GET WORKED UP ABOUT.  Over the past 6 years we have all shed our fair share of tears over wanting to have a brother/son to share with. 
Reflecting over the last few days, I can't help to think about Saturday night.  Kids were all asleep and I was up tearing blue and white streamers (19 to be exact, because that is how many it takes to cover the kids doorways) to hang from Tyson's door.  I remember last year blowing up 5 balloons in our basement (thank you at-home helium tanks!) with tears streaming down my face.  He was turning 5 alone,  in an orphanage where they don't celebrate birthdays.  I kept having to force myself to put one foot in front of the other.  We recorded ourselves singing him Happy Birthday and kept those 5 balloons flying high attached to his empty chair at the dining room table all day.  This year, it was all so different.  I now know his favorite color, that he has an innie belly-button, his most sensitive ticklish places, and how he beautifully rolls his "r"'s.  I knew what gift or twenty  he would love to open and what to serve on his big day that would bring him sheer delight (here's to you, pizza and chocolate iced doughnuts).  As I hung up those streamers, I remembered all the nights and days I had longed to hear the hum of his sleep in that darkened, superheroes bedroom.  I stood there, hanging streamers one by one, listening to his breaths and humbled to my deepest core that I get to be his mom.  It's how I feel about all the kids... on their first birthday, you reflect over their life, the way they've changed you, the way they've grown right in front of your face. I have said it a quadrillion times and it has never been more true:  The days are long, but the years are short.  I am working hard to be present in the now... like listening to the conversations the kids have with our widowed neighbor or hearing them "teach" in the basement as they play school.  Saturday night, it was listening to him sleep. 
He woke Sunday to a doorway full of streamers and light up, noisy emergency cars on the table.  They police car that drives by itself was, of course, his favorite.  He also found a new Big Wheel in the garage because when you are the fifth kid in a family the wheels are literally rotted and cracked on the old one. He loved it!  The four biggest kids and Mark headed out to church around 8:30am and Tyson and I stayed in until service time.  We are still navigating dropping him off and leaving him when he has NO CLUE what to expect.  He'd only been to church once, with us, in Ethiopia.  Just after the others left, he came to me with huge tears and a quiet spirit.  I feared he was in emotional meltdown mode and I started praying.  Turns out THANK YOU ENGLISH TUTOR IN ETHIOPIA he was able to finally verbalize that he "wanted to go, too."  OF COURSE HE DID.  So, I explained that we were going to get dressed and join the others at church.  So we did.  We grabbed Corbin from his class and headed to the service.  Tyson was able to meet so many new friends who have been praying for him.  He fidgeted and wiggled sat with me during the service and was not one bit amused that Dad was up there talking.  He did stop and take note when he heard his name or when the video started of us meeting him for the first time.  HUGE SMILE for that one!  After we picked Hudson up from Children's Church post-service, Tyson promptly informed me he was ready to go to Children's Church "next time."  Well, that settles the indecision about when to send him.  He saw it, Hudson is there, and apparently "Mom you go and me and Hudson stay next time."  He isn't going to sulk and miss me too much while he is there. 
Tyson's birthday was spent with streamers and balloons draped from the corners of the dining room and breakfast room and with grandparents, cousins, aunt/uncle, and a (very) few friends.  We didn't want to completely overwhelm him!  As he was curled up on me Sunday night before bed, we were discussing his favorite parts of the day.  He looked right at Mark and I and said, "Me birthday Monday?"  NICE TRY (told you he was a genius).  We reminded him you only have one birthday in a year and his was approximately 364 days away.  He took it well.
But, Monday did come.  And it brought with it a 9:45am dentist appointment.  Tyson's first ever visit to the dentist.  We went to a local pediatric dentist and the office was inviting and friendly.  They were prompt to call him Tyson (despite having to register him as Asnake for insurance purposes).  We went back to begin the visit and he laid flat on the orange table.  It forced him to be looking up to the ceiling where there was mounted a TV with "Despicable Me" playing.  The dental assistant quickly put headphones on him so he wouldn't miss any of it!  We discussed what little history we knew.  I voiced my concerns over the brown spots I could see on his teeth, knowing his report wouldn't necessarily be "glowing."  In his navy cardigan and yellow t-shirt peeking through, he looked so cute as the hygienist began "counting" his teeth with her pick.  It didn't take long for her to have me take a look with her.  All four of his back molars have large cavities.  The bottom two are very big (obvious to the naked eye).  She explained that the brown spots were evidence of defective enamel.  She cleaned Tyson's teeth after flossing them and then explained that we needed to do x-rays. While he was having his teeth cleaned a friend, whom I had forgotten worked there, came over and told us how excited she was to have us.  Her daughter used to go to school with Corbin and so she knew our journey had taken forever  been long.  She explained that each morning they review new patients who are coming in for the day.  She said when they said Tyson's name she explained the situation and how new he was to being home.  I am so thankful for the way the Lord continues to go before us.   Next, we walked through the brightly colored office and found the big interesting machine with a million buttons and gadgets on it x-ray machine.  Tyson stood as still as could be for the initial pictures.  Then, he moved to the chair for more "pictures."  This time, he had to bite down on a spongy thing that had a big black square attached to it that went into his mouth.  He gagged and gagged and coughed, but kept smiling through the huge tears that had formed in his eyes.  The hygienist was patient and kind and (fortunately) fast.  After the right side was done, I hugged him and told him how great he had done.  Then, I told him he needed to do his left side.  He smiled and said, "ok." That side went much faster, but not without more gagging.  He handled it all LIKE A BOSS so well.  Then, the dentist came over, reviewed his history, his xrays, and looked at his teeth.  I knew the news wasn't going to be good, but I was praying for grace to receive it well.  She explained that 12 of his 20 baby teeth have defective enamel and therefore are more prone to cavities.  Four of the molars must have treatment, with the hopes of salvaging two of them.  She isn't sure those lower molars (which he is supposed to have until he is 12) are salvageable.  But, we are going to try!  As I sat there, I was overwhelmed with my lack of gratitude for the simple things... clean water, a toothbrush, fluoride, and good nutrition. Tyson got and used his very first toothbrush less than a month ago.  Until October 2014 he was considered severely malnourished (then he changed orphanages).  And now, he has to pay the price. His poor baby teeth are in rough shape.  We are praying his permanent teeth will come in with perfect enamel.  So, on December 22 he will be put to sleep heaven help me and have caps on those molars after two of them also have a pulpectomy.  From what the dentist said, this procedure is "a last ditch effort to salvage the teeth."  We are praying it allows him to keep those teeth at least a couple of more years.  If, when they are doing the procedure, they find the nerve isn't in good shape, they will remove the teeth.  Our first doctor's visit and we are diving in head first.  I figure it's all up hill from here.  We will go to the pediatrician's office next week and the eye doctor in January.  But, I walked away with a new perspective on the simple things, like a toothbrush.  We pick it up every morning and don't even give it a thought.  Yet, other people all over the world will have lifelong pain or medical issues simply because they don't have a toothbrush.  I am so thankful Tyson could come to a house with clean water, fluoride, a toothbrush and good food! 
After the dentist Tyson and I went to Chick-fil-A (still using a generous gift card!).  As you know, if you follow along, Tyson's primary diet has consisted of bananas, pizza, burgers, and fries.  I have concluded he doesn't really like burgers all that much, but he gets them as a means to an end ... FRIES.  However, this week he ate 6 nuggets from Chick-fil-A  (hip hip hooray).  We celebrate the small things at this point in the food department. I knew you'd want to know (duh).
As we look toward the morning with SO MUCH to be thankful for, I am giving thanks with a new perspective... one that is fighting through perfectionism and learning to be ok with letting you into my CRAZY laundry room (that is all tidy right now.  It won't last long, I am sure).  A perspective that knows every season isn't a "thriving" season.  Right now, we are in "surviving" mode and we all know "thriving" days are coming. A perspective that remembers where we have been and where we are. One that can cry at the drop of a hat recollecting last Thanksgiving and the way my mind and heart felt 8000 miles away.  A perspective that isn't focused on the outcome while completely missing the process.  Along the way, I have referenced a ratty, old, torn piece of paper that hangs on our fridge.  Just this week, I have looked at it no less than 5,000 times.  In the lower right corner it is dated 1/11/05... you do the math.  It's older than three of our children.  It has seen me through SOME DAYS.  It reads:

Today, away from the world and hidden from public view I exchange....
my weariness for His Strength,
my weakness for His power,
my darkness for His light,
my problems for His solutions,
my burdens for His freedom,
my frustrations for His peace,
my turmoil for His calm
my hopes for His promises,
my afflictions for His comfort,
my questions for His answers,
my confusion for His knowledge,
my doubt for His assurance,
my nothingness for His awesomeness,
the temporal for the eternal, and
the impossible for the possible.


I have no idea where I read it or found it.  I do know it's offered me so much to be thankful for.  We are given the great privilege of having a compassionate Savior who longs to exchange all of us for all of Him.  As I zone in on weariness, frustration, nothingness, temporal, impossible  a few of these, I pray you will do the same.  Don't miss Him in all that is going on.  When we choose to make these exchanges, a new perspective is inevitably going to come.  I am wishing you the Happiest of Thanksgivings full of new perspectives.  And, this Thanksgiving I am thankful for no empty seats at the table, for 5 kids who teach me so much, for Hudson coming to faith in Jesus this year, for the opportunity to take Brycen and Regan to Africa for 24 days (life-changing),for a husband who loves and leads us so well,  and above it all.... I am thankful for Jesus.  It is all in Him, from Him, for Him, through Him, by Him. 

Happy Thanksgiving,
carrie