First, yesterday during our cleaning-the-room-evacuation, I was sitting at a round dining table in the living room downstairs. It's there to play games and sit and read/talk. It's in the same big room as many toys that Tyson enjoys, so while I worked on sudoku and crossword puzzles, he was playing. Then, he came over to my table with his big Tootsie Roll Pop in his mouth. With his sticky mouth he kissed my cheek and said, "Mom, can I write?" He astounds me each day with his English. I, of course, stopped what I was doing and handed him my pen, opened my book to the inside cover and I wrote his name. He said, "me do. You spell. Me write." Off we went. I started, "T" and he wrote it. "Y" and so on. I snapped a picture and realized that, again, God had given me the opportunity to teach him how to spell and write his name, something usually reserved for biological children or children who come to us as babies somehow. Then, I wrote all our names inside a box and labeled it "family." Along the side of the box I vertically wrote, "McKeehan," and explained all of us have the same last name (no one uses last names in Ethiopia). He read each name as I pointed to them, "mommy," "daddy," "Brycen," "Regan," "Corbin," "Hudson," "Tyson." Then he smiled and looked surprised, "That's me," he said as he pointed to "Tyson". I replied, "Yes, baby, that's you and we are a family." He studied that box for the longest time, running his fingers across each name. I am not sure how long he thought about having a family or even how a 5 year old processes such things. But, in that moment I knew he felt like one of us. Maybe he's a visual learner like his mom and he just needed to see it! I couldn't erase that image of him with that sticky face and fingers, looking over and touching this new reality: He's a McKeehan.
The other first that the Lord chose to give me yesterday happened just before I sat to blog. Tyson chose to go to bed before the movie (Cars 2) had finished last night because he was so tired. We tucked him in and (as usual) he went to bed with a "motor." I was laying beside him on top of the covers while he was cozied up inside. He snuggled up close to me and I wondered if he had ever had someone lay with him until he fell asleep. I was curious if my being there would bother him and make it more difficult for him. So, I asked him, "No Mommy here or yes mommy here?" He said, in a soft, sleepy voice, "yes, mommy. stay." Tearfully I pulled him close and began humming softly, "You are my Sunshine." He was asleep in 3 minutes. NO JOKE. But, I laid there anyway. And I let tears hit his pillow in gratitude. I had just sung my baby to sleep. Don't ever believe the lie that adopting an older child robs you of firsts or of bonding. I couldn't thank Him enough for the gift of cuddles, humming, and tender memories forever etched in my mind.
So, when I woke this morning, knowing we off to the kebele and remembering the sweet connections from yesterday, I was encouraged and eager to get going. Mengistu had arranged for a driver from Bethany to pick us up at 9:40am so we could be to the kebele by 11. Have I mentioned how long it takes to get anywhere much quality time we have in the car? We swung by the Bethany office to pick up Tesfahun (attorney) and Mengistu and arrived to kebele (number 5, to be exact) just before 11. Tesfahun walked in with all the papers they said we needed. Then, as one of the men looked through them he asked for our passports (luckily I had brought them). Then, he stated we needed Tyson's original birth certificate. That was still at Bethany 45 minutes away. But, Tesfahun immediately made arrangements for a driver to bring it to us. In the meantime we walked a block away and went into a little cafe to enjoy some buna. Tyson and Regan ate ice cream and Brycen ate a croissant. Just as we were finishing Tesfahun (I think it was Holy Spirit) said, "I am going to make sure they don't want anything else." He returned and said, "now the kebele is requesting a copy of your marriage certificate." I looked at him with utter disbelief and said, "WHY?" Good grief, we wouldn't have passed court IF WE WEREN'T MARRIED. But, this incident helped me to better understand what a nightmare it is for Tesfahun blessing Tesfahun is to Bethany and to our family. This was ONE DAY and one interaction with one office and I was frustrated at the senseless demands. He has been fighting these battles for us (for Tyson) for six years. But, rather than gripe about it, he made arrangements for OUR ENTIRE DOSSIER (which included our marriage certificate) to be sent with another driver on the off chance they asked us another document. About the time he made that arrangement Mengistu said, "Tesfahun go ask them, I bet they will need the marriage certificate translated into Amharic." I shot Mark a look like... WHAT ON EARTH. Sure enough, the man at the kebele remained difficult and insisted it be translated into English. Thankfully, that isn't a long process (all the praise hands). So, we went to lunch and Tesfahun found some kind of translation place took care of business with the translation and before we even finished lunch he was back with us, with our marriage certificate in Amharic. Turns out we are now married in English AND Amharic. Tesfahun gave us the word that it was time to go back to kebele because they would be reopening after lunch at 1:30pm and we wanted to be the first in line. So, please note, we had now had 2 documents driven to us and had one of them translated in an hour and a half. Tesfahun is a miracle worker blessing and a hard, diligent worker who loves families and our kids so much. This fight isn't an easy one.
So, we all 7 piled into the Kebele ONE MORE TIME. The waiting area for us is, I am guessing, 6.5 feet by 6 feet. The waiting area is in the same room as the office, but the desks are lined to your right and straight ahead, leaving a sort of square area for waiting. WE MAXED IT OUT. This time when we arrived, the difficult gentleman seemed to be a bit more cooperative I don't know if it was the enormous stack of papers Tesfahun was carrying persistence on our part to NOT GIVE UP and to just keep fulfilling their demands or if he just really needed a lunch break. Either way, he looked over everything and agreed to print our adoption certificate!! It was music to my ears to hear the keys on the keyboard as he typed it. He was nearly half way finished WHEN THE POWER WENT OUT. Y'all I literally cannot make this up. MY HEART SANK. I looked at Mark and I nearly burst into tears. I looked at my watch. 1:43pm. Ok, I thought, we have plenty of time today. So we sat there waiting for the power to come back on. As we waited, Tesfahun made conversation with the people working because, well, there was nothing for them to do with no power. We couldn't understand the conversation (obviously), but later Tesfahun told us that he said, "See this family? Look how they love him? They came all the way from America to help our people. They are staying here for a month in our country. Isn't it a shame we make them wait and make things so difficult for them?" He said that man said, "Yes, today for the first time I understand that. You are right. It's a shame." I couldn't believe it when Tesfahun told us that. Maybe the power being out is paving the way for families behind us. Our time in that office waiting was full of laughter with Tyson, hugs, kisses, and he was so friendly to everyone who came in inquiring about what they needed. The door to the kebele had a piece of wrinkled paper that bore the numbers "15" in yellow ink with a black background. The floor was gray linoleum that looked like it had black, white, and dark gray pebbles on it. The walls were dingy white and the ceiling had cracks and chipping paint. But, that was where God had set us FOR THREE SOLID HOURS. We sat there, staring at these people who have made this process so difficult for three hours waiting for the power to come back on. At one point Tesfahun asked one of the workers, "how long is the power usually out?'' He replied, "I have worked here 3 months and this is the first time it has ever gone out since I have been here." I glanced at my watch, it was 4pm. I half-joking said to Tesfahun, "You should know when you have the McKeehan file in your hand nothing is going to go according to plan." He didn't miss a beat and said, "I know. It's always spiritual." I looked at him with a funny look, I guess. He said, "Your case has been abnormal challenge. It has been a spiritual battle from the beginning. Today is spiritual." I got chills and couldn't help but agree with him. When we walked into the kebele you could physically feel the oppression. Then Tesfahun said, "but today we have been kind to them and I think it is helpful we have been here because they have seen your family love on this boy and seen your interaction. They have seen that you are giving him a good life. This is going to help us in the future because we have built their trust today." I was frustrated and upset that the power was out and that we were leaving empty-handed (more on that later). But, even in the mess and frustration, God was working this out. I can't tell you the number of times along the way I have said, "When this is over, I want to help families coming behind us by....." And right there behind door 15 with these people who had made me want to gauge out their eyes earlier been able to see the beautiful side of adoption, and even WITH MY BAD ATTITUDE, God had worked in ways I was oblivious to as they were happening. In that worn out chair that had the cover missing off the foam, I was sitting in the middle of this spiritual battle that Tesfahun had been FIGHTING WITH US FROM THE OTHER SIDE OF THE GLOBE FOR SIX YEARS. Would I have loved to walk out with that adoption certificate? YES. But, there is something powerful about recognizing someone has locked shields with you and been praying in that fashion when I wondered all along if they recognized the war that was waging.
Around 4:30pm Tesfahun said, "they are ready to leave because without power they can't do any work. I am afraid if we make them stay here until 5:30pm they will be upset and won't print it tomorrow. They have assured me they will print it with no questions or additional requests tomorrow and I believe them. They can't believe you all just sat here this long." So, as of now, we will be picked up at 7:30am in order to arrive at the Kebele by 8:30am when they open. Tesfahun said he would meet us there because he wants to arrive extra early to ensure we are the first ones in line. Really, y'all. These people are amazing. And, I realize that in all the wait there were days Tesfahun had plans to help our case, but there were likely days other families had days like we had where it ended up taking the entire day and still didn't get what we set out for. But, the table is set for the feast tomorrow.
On the ride back from kebele I was tearful with disappointment. We were SO CLOSE. But, Tesfahun said that after we get the adoption certificate tomorrow morning, Abdi (another attorney) will meet us and take us to begin Tyson's passport process. Originally we weren't going to start that until Friday. So, maybe today's events prompted them to want to expedite another, more predictable part of the remaining process. As I noted before, after we get this document from the kebele, every thing else is predictable and streamlined.
I will keep you updated tomorrow night... tomorrow will be a long day out at kebele, lunch, getting Abdi, going to immigration for passport. So, we may not get to post pictures until later than normal.
I am excited to blog tomorrow, hopeful and expectant that the power will be on and the feast will be prepared. Right there, in the presence of our enemies.
We love you.
Until WE'RE home,
carrie
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