Forever and Ever

I could write a novel just off what has happened since my last post, a week ago (time really does FLY).  I am sorry it's been a whole week since I updated, but JET-LAG IS NO JOKE  but we have been tired and busy.  I feel like I need toothpicks to prop my eyelids open after 5:30pm every night.  Tonight has been far better! I hope to fill you in on what has been happening since then.  There is just so much.  I will try to do the highlights.  And, if need be, I will make it two posts.  I don't want you bored with one LONG post.
So, last Friday we woke up and headed to Debra Zit, a town just outside of Addis.  I was so excited for all the kids to get out of Addis to see AFRICA.  Mengistu had mentioned a 5-star resort there that we could go visit for the day inexpensively and allow the kids to canoe, swim, etc.  We all sang our guts out ("Eye of the Storm" and "Good, Good Father" were top of the list) as we made the hour commute.  Traffic outside of Addis was a dream was much less congested and this allowed us to focus on farmland, mountain views, and bulls fighting in the street (our only traffic jam was with two bulls, horns locked, middle of the road!).  There is something so beautiful about experiencing things you NEVER see in America.  The bulls in the road along with the previously noted hole in the ground restroom are top of the list.
We arrived at the resort and it was like a whole new world when we walked in.  The walkways were all covered with overarching trees and vines, making it so serene and private.  The stairs were all cut out of natural rock and the covered porches on each room opened up to a beautiful "lake" (large pond).  Each covered porch had a stone fireplace and outdoor bed/sitting area.  It was beautiful.  Brycen and Tyson hopped into one canoe and Mengistu into the other.  They had so much fun paddling around and the entire time Tyson was smiling from ear to ear.  He kept saying, "Go faster, Brycen, go faster."  Poor Brycen was trying his best and was doing great!  I sat back and smiled, batting away tears.  His world is expanding with every passing day.
Next, we went by the spa, as Mengistu had told us about body massages that were super affordable. Turns out HE WAS NEVER WRONG.  Nine whole dollars for a 45-minute body message at a 5-star resort.  YES, PLEASE. So, Mark and I both took advantage of that ( THANK YOU MENGISTU FOR BABYSITTING).  Next up, lunch.  We sat at a table closest to the water, a thatched cathedral ceiling over us, covering the porch.  It was a view that would cost a fortune anywhere else worth a million bucks.  And, it was shared with the most special people (minus two blonde-haired, blue-eyed boys).  We were all talking about going home, but we were also keenly aware that we would be leaving Mengistu, who by now, has become like family to us.  None of us thought too long about our leaving him or we would tear up.  As lunch finished I couldn't quite figure out why it was taking FOREVER there was a delay in service to bring our receipt.  Then, the entire kitchen staff came out singing, "Happy Birthday," pushing a big cart with a wooden cutting board on it that read, "Happy Birthday, Carrie" in white icing.  Just below the writing were the most divine brownies covered in ice cream.  Yes, I am gluten-free and yes, I am dairy (very)limited.  And, YES, I ate it.  It was Africa, it was special, and it was almost my birthday.  When the brownies came out with candles going, Tyson looked so confused.  Finally, he joined in singing and watched me blow out the candles.  Then, as he was eating his brownie he looked at me and said, "Mommy's birthday finished."  Little did he know... it was just getting started! Turns out since we were still in Africa (on the plane) at midnight, my birthday lasted 32 hours (due to 8 hour time difference)!
We finished up lunch all relaxed and full.  We decided it was time to head back to Addis, as we had to swing by Bethany to pay our FINAL fees from travel and needed to shower before HEADING TO THE AIRPORT.  On the way back Mengistu said, "we will go back a different way."  Y'ALL.  It was a toll road that was COMPLETELY CLEAR of traffic.  Like, we MAYBE passed 30 cars on the 30 minute drive back.  Turns out it also saved significant time.  The toll road was super nice, newly paved, and one of the first times we felt like we were in America in the car.
Anyway, we made our way to Bethany to pay (just after going to our regular coffee shop just around the corner from Bethany) and I decided to stay in the car with Regan, Brycen, and Tyson.  Mark had planned to just run in and pay Bethany with Mengistu.  While we were waiting I looked at Tyson and said, "I can't wait to take you home.  I love being your mom."  He looked right up at me and said, "You're my mommy forever and ever."  Regan and Brycen both looked at me simultaneously like, "WHOA!"  I had tears I was trying to bat away.  But, about that time, he looked at Brycen and said, "You are my brother forever and ever." Then, at Regan, "You are my sister forever and ever."  Then, as if it was just a normal conversation he went on, "And, Dad is my Daddy forever and ever."  Someone please come console me as I curl up in the fetal position and cry my eyes out  because I have never had such a wave of overwhelming gratitude sweep over me like it did in that moment.  Not only that what Tyson had said was true, but that HE UNDERSTOOD AND COULD VERBALIZE IT.  Needless to say, by the time Mark and Mengistu returned we were all in tears in the van.
We finally made it back to the guesthouse and ate dinner while we took turns showering, because 17 plus hours on a plane makes you want to gouge your eyes out requires starting out fresh.  We took all 12 bags back down 2 flights of steps and said our (tear-filled) good-byes to the AMAZING staff at the Ordinary Hero guesthouse (who had now seen us for 23 straight days in our pajama pants and watched us grow to know our sweet boy more every day).  We also told the other families good-bye, promising to keep in touch (all are hoping to be home by Thanksgiving!).  We loaded into the van and off we went, just as the sun had gone down.  We couldn't see much as we drove, which was probably good, as I felt like we were all on the verge of tears knowing we were about to have to tell Mengistu good-bye.  As we drove a few miles away, getting closer to the airport, Mengistu handed me a bag and told me he bought me a birthday gift.  I quickly opened it and found inside a shirt we had joked about buying, but couldn't ever find after we finally decided to get it.  It is a yellow, v-neck t-shirt that says, "Powered by Injera."  I just LOVE it. I thanked him profusely and we traveled on.  It was all so bittersweet... mostly sweet, knowing we were headed home.  But, grief overwhelmed me at one point as I considered that Tyson was about to board a plane and leave the only place he's ever known.  I knew he was going into a more stable, loving, fruitful environment.  But, I also knew that we all love our comfort zones and we all love home.  It was just all so much at once that I had constant tears as we got closer and closer.  The tears were mostly ones of SWEET RELIEF and overwhelming joy that we were finally headed home.  But, adoption always involves grief.  And, this drive to the airport merged all the joy and grief for me.
We pulled up to the airport and we were all mechanical in getting the bags out of the van, pretending a good-bye wasn't coming.  But, it had to.  So, we each hugged Mengistu and told him HE MUST COME VISIT US (which he has tentative plans to do in August).  We cried and then Mark, Brycen, Regan, and I watched as Mengistu bent down to hug Tyson.  It was a long, genuine, tearful hug.  When they separated, Mengistu was wiping tears, ones he was still crying as we pushed our boatload of bags away and waved to him until we couldn't see him anymore.  The emotions were raw for me.  Leaving was harder than I expected, not because I didn't want to come home.  We had just gotten into our routine there and Tyson knew what to expect, where things were, and our schedule.  This was his country, his people, his language, his food.  We were walking away and asking so much of him.  I knew it was necessary, but I also wanted to work through the grief.
The airport situation was  quite possibly the worst airport situation in the history of the WORLD challenging.  We had three of us checked in (after having all of our bags and all of us make it through a security checkpoint).  The Ethiopian Air ticketing system went down and we had to wait for over 30 minutes at the desk (as the line grew and grew).  We finally walked away with a hand-written boarding pass (I mean, really).  The system came back up shortly and Customer service issued the rest of our boarding passes (Thank you, Jesus!).  Next came bathrooms breaks and security check point 2 or 3... I lost count because Mark and I were BOTH pre-selected for a carry-on bag check.  This involved us waiting a LONG time (in an area where we could see our kids, but they weren't with us... MOMMA'S PLEASE SYMPATHIZE), having every SINGLE item removed from our carry-ons, iPads/computers turned on, shoes off (again), watches off (again), glasses off (again), and then we were given clearance to move about 40 feet to the next passport security checkpoint.  No, I am not exaggerating. But, thankfully, we were FINALLY through and the award for best airport participant goes to Brycen, who, by the time we sat at our gate, was carrying a sleeping Tyson (he fell asleep during our strip search carry-on bag search).  Tyson stayed asleep for the 45 minutes we waited to board and didn't wake again until we stopped in Dublin for a refuel 7.5 hours later!!  But, as we took off in Addis and I felt the wheels come up off the ground, I looked at Mark and cried.  WE ARE GOING HOME.
We had a refuel in Dublin for an hour and then 7 hours more until we landed in Washington, D.C.  Tyson did GREAT on the flight, staying busy with his iPod, movies (he watched about 10-15 minutes at a time), suckers, sitting in the floor, stretching across us, etc.   Before we knew it we were in America.  When the wheels touched down I looked at Tyson and said, "You're an American citizen now!"  We de-boarded, road a trolley (of sorts) over to customs (where they have to look through a HUGE stack of papers given to us at the US Embassy before we can enter the country with Tyson), reclaimed our bags, put them back on the luggage carrier, and off we went to Starbucks.  We drank buna, CHANGED OUR CLOTHES, and then headed to find some lunch.  On the way we had to go up and down a bajillion several escalators. AND TYSON'S LIFE CHANGED.  Escalators were a GREAT introduction to America... the land where we can't even walk up and down steps.  HE LOVED THEM. And then came the moving sidewalk... his mind was blown.  It was at that point I realized seeing life and luxuries through his eyes was going to change my life.
We ate Chipotle (well, Tyson had Five Guys because... Fries) and introduced him to ice.  The idea was novel, but the reality wasn't so great.  He doesn't prefer anything too cold or anything too hot.  This is because in Ethiopia everything is served lukewarm (except buna and chai).    But, we quickly got water with no ice and everyone was happy.  We found a play area in the airport and let the kids play there until it was time to get to our gate.  When we arrived to our gate, we knew everyone there was heading to Knoxville.  Many were asking us questions and Tyson was like a  superstar there.  Everyone was so sweet and he even found a sweet little girl to play with (who so graciously shared her toys with him).
It finally came time to board.  I was sitting with Tyson (who had the window seat) and Regan was in the single seat on my other side, Mark sat just behind her.  Brycen sat in the single seat in front of Regan.  When we sat down and buckled, I bawled.  Our next step was Knoxville. Home. Corbin and Hudson.  Everyone together.  I was just undone.  And, I couldn't wait to see Tyson enjoy the window seat! But, by the time we were actually taking off, the sweet boy was sound asleep.  Bless his heart, his body was telling him in was 9pm, which is past bedtime!  I literally held his head up so it wouldn't nod forward or backward and wake him up.  About the time we were descending, I started trying to wake him up.  I was offering him sips of water, gum, anything to wake him up!  He couldn't keep his eyes open!  By the time we de-boarded, waited plane-side for luggage, and walked to greet everyone, he was wide-eyed, but for a few minutes, I had my doubts.
We were practically running to where our family was waiting.  I was holding Tyson's hand and when we came through the rotating door and saw our parents, siblings, nieces, nephews, and CORBIN AND HUDSON, we started running.  I finally saw Hudson running for Tyson and I let his hand go so they could run and hug.  I am crying remembering it.  Sheer joy.  There were tears of joy between them. Corbin wasn't far behind, but he was coming to hug his Momma first, and I am ok with that!  We introduced Tyson to his family and all the familiar faces he had seen in photos that he was now seeing in person.  The hugs were long and tight and the tears were many and frequent.  As we started walking down toward the escalators, Tyson was walking around with such confidence, like he owned the place... because he was, after all, now an escalator PROFESSIONAL.  We came down the escalators and unless you see the pictures, I doubt my human words will convey the emotion.  I was so overwhelmed and humbled by the sheer number of people who were there clapping and crying and videoing, and holding posters, and shouting.  WHAT A BIRTHDAY! Our church  family (biological and otherwise) is amazing.  Tyson was greeted with handshakes, balloons, high-fives, fist bumps, a few hugs, and SO MUCH LOVE.  He handled it like a champ and seemed to enjoy finally seeing everyone we had talked about.  But, after 24 hours of travel, all the emotion, and the time change, we were ready for home.
We finally loaded into the car like a three ring circus and got all three "little" boys buckled into the backseat (fiasco).  The giggles and laughs coming home were such a sweet sound to this Momma.  They were playing with helium balloons (probably the first ones Tyson has ever seen).  He just kept watching it and hitting it and laughing.  Corbin and Hudson were catching us up on their lives and asking Tyson questions.  It was so much fun.  As we pulled into our driveway, our hearts were just undone.... a sweet banner hung from our porch that read, "Welcome Home," with pumpkins and mums flanking our front door.  There were red (obviously) balloons sporadically floating in front of the house.  It was perfect.  And written really big in sidewalk chalk across the driveway were the words, "Welcome Home Tyson."  If that isn't the understatement of the last six  year, I don't know what is!  Yes, sweet boy, welcome home.
We entered and he just moved quickly from room to room, not sure what to look at first.  But, after we showed him his room, the bathroom and Regan's room, I could tell he was especially quick to look at Regan's room.  That's because he now knew where the bathroom was, and he needed to go!  We toured the house, finally arriving downstairs in the play room.  Tyson walked around the perimeter of the room first and then sat in the floor, grabbed a Scooby-Doo van and started playing.  The truth is, even now, it's like he's been here forever.  He just sat and played like it was home.  And it is!  My heart swelled watching Tyson play with Corbin and Hudson for the first time.  It was almost more than I could bear.  We had our first "official" family of 7 picture taken and then we spent the evening just being home and listening to Corbin and Hudson "teaching" Tyson where everything is in our house.
Since coming home, there have been a few firsts that have been tender to me.  Here are a few:
-his first night being tucked in.  makes me cry all over again to think about.
-first morning to wake up, find me in the kitchen with sleep still in his eyes, tap my leg, and raise his arms for a big hug.
-First morning with a BIG breakfast.  Discovered he likes sausage sandwiches!
-first time to see a dishwasher or washer/dryer
-trying to figure out how doorknobs work
-discovering automatic doors in the van.  This was almost as great as (if not greater than) the escalators.  Even today, he still can't get over the doors.
-seeing the sunroof.  I opened it, without thinking, and heard something... looked back and he was laughing hysterically, pointing saying, "window?"
-first time baking blueberry muffins with mom
-eating his first (and only) slice of bacon.  THIS WILL IMPROVE.  I feel sure of it.
-first Wal-Mart, Target, Aldi, Lifeway, Chick-fil-A, Habaneros, Kroger, and bank visits.  He likes to go.
-first day home with just Mom and Tyson... we cuddled and watched Scooby-Doo!
-and tonight, his first bath!  He's only ever had a shower and he's never been swimming.  I am happy to report he LOVED it.

We are all adjusting beautifully.  Thank you so much for your prayers.  Thank you for following along and loving us so beautifully.  We literally could never repay you.  We know we couldn't.  Your prayers are a priceless gift to us and we are so grateful you have chosen to come along with us on this journey.  Mark and I have discussed that if God had asked us to write out our "dream" trip in Ethiopia, meeting him the first time, and transition home , we literally couldn't have dreamt to write it this way.  We know we are bound to have issues at some point, but for now, we are celebrating the graciousness of Jesus to come this far and feel like he's been here forever.  Speaking of forever.  I am SO glad I get to be his mommy forever and ever.  And I am glad he gets to be my Tyson forever and ever.

I will try to update again super soon!

glad to be HOME,
carrie