Just Breathe

It's (finally) quiet and I (finally) have time to write about what has been going on around here.  As I type, we have a very sweet "first" happening at our house tonight... all three of the "little boys" are asleep in the same bed.  Typically Tyson sleeps with Hudson on the bottom bunk (full size bed) and Corbin sleeps wherever his head hits the pillow on the couch.  He is our nomad and we are okay with that.  Everyone has a bed and if Corbin wants to sleep on the couch....I am NOT dying on that hill.  Anyway, all of that to say, tonight that bottom bunk is THE sweetest, cutest thing ON PLANET EARTH. 
As I sit here, my head is spinning thinking about all of the firsts this week held.  I so desperately want to be able to let you in, without sacrificing Tyson's trust or threatening his vulnerability.  But, there are plenty of things I CAN share and more and more lessons that I am learning as I spend my days with him.  As I have said before, he is very smart and saying something to him once is usually enough.  After that, he's got it.  I am tickled recollecting our car conversation yesterday.  About a week ago I said, "Tyson, do you know what Mommy loves about you? EVERYTHING!!"  This is something I say often to all of our kids, but it was the first time I'd said it to him.  So, yesterday I was driving and I glanced back at him and said, "Hey, Tyson, do you know what Mommy loves about you?"  Before I could answer my own question, he stretched his arms out, as if doing the motions to "Deep and Wide" and with the biggest smile he yelled out, "EVERYTHING!"  I tearfully responded with , "That's right, Buddy.  Everything."  I am so glad he remembered, because it's true!

A few other "firsts" stand out.  First, one of my friends at church came to me and said, "I just saw Tyson washing his hands in the water fountain.  It was so cute." And, it probably was.  But, he wasn't trying to be cute... he had NO IDEA it wasn't to wash hands!  We have since had Water Fountain 101 which actually left us both sopping wet was a bit harder than initially expected.  However, he's an old pro now! Told ya he's a fast learner!!
Just tonight Tyson was in one of his newest favorite places... washing dishes at the sink.  Here's the deal... I don't wash dishes very often.  Okay.  Never.  I wash dishes that cannot be washed in the dishwasher. Otherwise, I wait until the current load is finished and then I load it back up.  Tyson has a fascination with our kitchen faucet and he thoroughly enjoys pulling the retractable end down, spraying the water on dishes and putting the faucet back together.  We have repeatedly told him he does not need to wash dishes, but he just insists.  Off he goes, grabbing his wooden step stool and he does it with the biggest smile on his face, "Me help you, Momma."  SWEET BOY. So, tonight all the dishes were finished and I saw him go get his stool.  I explained the dishes were finished, but he just kept walking toward the sink.  He climbed up, turned on the water and started cleaning the sink.  I let him "clean" for a few minutes and then I said in my most chipper voice, "Okay, I think that is SO clean.  Let's get down.  We don't want to waste the water.  Mommy and Daddy have to pay for the water.  So when we are all finished we turn it off so we don't waste it."  He bent over the faucet and looked and looked.  Then he said, "Momma, where the money go? "  Please try your hardest to imagine me trying to explain to him about "a store that sends us a letter in the mail every few weeks to tell us how much water we used and how much money it costs."  Y'ALL.  How cute is that?  He couldn't figure out how or where we put the money in to get the water!  We assured him we had the money for all the water we needed and that we wouldn't run out of water, a common problem in Ethiopia. 
Today Tyson jumped on his first trampoline (thanks, Sara!) and yesterday we went to his first play (Break a leg, Jess!).  The trampoline was a HUGE hit and the play was super fun for about 30 minutes but he struggled to follow the story line, understandably.  So, we jetted out of the play a few minutes early, but not before he laughed hysterically at the "yellow ball that burps."  The play was based off a Junie B. Jones book and one of the toys in the play is a ball that "burps" when you squeeze it.  Some things speak a universal language.  Turns out most of those things are bodily noises and functions.  And in a family with 5 males and 2 females we speak a lot of that universal language.

Sunday afternoon we went to celebrate our nephews birthday and then we had to run and grab a few things from the store that the older kids needed for a school project.  By the time we finished finding what we needed, it was dinner time and I had not meal planned (which is very unusual).  So, I looked at Mark and said, "Where do we have a gift card to?"  Aubrey's for the win!  So, off we went.  After we ordered our meal (going to a restaurant with us is somewhat comical.  We had the "large party" table), our drinks arrived.  As always we all ordered water because who wants to pay $20 for drinks? and our server brought a dessert plate with lemons on it.  The boys sat and colored for approximately 20 seconds and then Tyson said, pointing to the lemons, "Oranges?"  So, I grabbed one and showed him the rind.  I said, "Is it orange?" He shook his head no.  Then I said, "It's a lemon," as I puckered my face to try to let him know it was sour.  When I offered him the lemon, he took the bait.  But, his face was SO funny!  I so wish I had videoed!  Then, Tyson thought it would be fun to have all of us taste a lemon, one at a time because we weren't already loud enough.  OH MY.  We, of course, exaggerated our sour faces, but he got the biggest kick out of it and just today he said, "Momma, Brycen, Regan, Corbin Hudson, Daddy did (insert crazy sour face), right?"  He was still chuckling with delight thinking about it.  Suffice it to say, he hasn't asked for another one, but he can put away some oranges and bananas.  In way of food, our options are broadening (high-fives all around).  Tyson has discovered he likes corn dogs (I know, I know... it's STILL not a green vegetable), vanilla pudding, pork chops in the crockpot, mashed potatoes (here's looking at you, Menge!), baked potatoes, and my personal unexpected favorite SALAMI SANDWICHES.  I am laughing out loud about that one.  Of all the delicious food on planet earth, why a salami sandwich, I will never know.  But, he loves them and I make them with the hopes of discreetly adding lettuce or spinach on top .
One of the melt-this-Momma's-heart moments happened a few hours ago.  Tyson asked if he could call Mark on the phone (something he had never done).  I, as always when the kids want Dad, said, "Of course."  But, I had to (obviously) explain that he had to wait for Daddy to say, "Hello," before he could talk.  So, when Mark answered, Tyson was already laughing saying, "Hi, Daddy!  I am going to kiss your face off."  Clearly, he has heard us say that no less than a trillion times a time or two.  To hear HIM say it was SO sweet and he was so proud of his first phone call!
My favorite "first" of this past week happened on Saturday at a birthday party.  We were standing outside around a fire pit around 11:15 Saturday morning.  It was cold outside, but the fire and standing heaters were working perfectly to keep us comfortable.  When we walked outside, Mark was carrying Tyson (which is common in adoption regardless of the child's age, because we have baby years and carrying to make up for!).  It wasn't until a few minutes later that Mark put Tyson down, once we felt like he was comfortable with everything around us.  Then, the first time Tyson spoke his eyes got SO big and he pointed at his breath and said, "What is THAT?"  It was the first time he had talked outside when it was cold enough to see his breath.  He thought it was fascinating and then he kept breathing out to see it again and again.  He would ask us to talk or exhale so he could see it and laugh.  We tried explaining that it was because it was so cold outside.  I am not sure he fully understood, but I do know he loved it.  I will keep saying it... it really is the little things.
The more I have reflected on that morning and Tyson watching his breath, the more I have realized that it is a tangible picture of one thing God has taught me over the past 6 years.  The reason Tyson was so confused at seeing his breath is because he hadn't changed anything... he was just talking like he has for 6 years.  What changed were his circumstances.  He had no control over the weather, which is the circumstance that changed that allowed him to see what is always there, but not always visible: his breath.  Sometimes we find ourselves in circumstances that our unexpected, circumstances that are harsh, and circumstances that are completely out of our control.  Yet, those are often the very situations that God uses to make Himself more visible to us.  It isn't that He isn't always there, it's often that we aren't aware because, well, we are comfortable... in where we are warm and cozy.  He is equally there and equally working in both circumstances, but only one of them gives us the privilege of becoming more aware of His presence.  If you are like me, I shudder at the thought of struggle, suffering, and trials.  However, I can also personally testify that those are the very days and seasons when I have grown the closest to Jesus, knowing He was there, despite whatever circumstances I happened to find myself in.  I recently read on a friend's Instagram feed this quote (and one I shared with Mark, who later used it in a sermon when talking about what God had taught him over the past 6 years):

"I have learned to kiss the wave that throws me against the Rock of Ages."

Reread it.  And then again.  Being thrown against a rock HURTS, unless it's the Rock of Ages.  But, how often do we grow bitter or fearful or insecure  when the waves come and uncertainty feels in control?  Rather, we have the choice to kiss that wave who pushes us to the One who is steadfast, steady, strong, and fully in control.  Even the wind and waves obey His voice!  So, those changing, uncertain, harsh circumstances might be uncomfortable, but they might also be the VERY thing that will allow you to see His presence in a fresh, more intimate, profound way.  Exhale.  Find Him right there with you.

Immanuel, God with us.  We love You.

carrie