Mother's Day Thoughts

It almost feels like the day we found out we were leaving in 5 days to go to Ethiopia to pick up Tyson.  My emotions were all over the place, remembering days that felt hopeless and dark, but light seemed to be breaking through.  It's the night before Mother's Day when all of us are sleeping under one roof.  It still makes me cry.  As the day has come closer and closer, I have been more intentionally focused on being present... being so mindful of how blessed I am.  These days aren't taken for granted as I sit, tearfully, thinking about devastating news that continues to come out of Ethiopia regarding adoption.  So many friends still waiting to see if or when their children can come home.  I am prayerful for other friends in uncertain days in a domestic adoption, but trusting and believing God is weaving a beautiful baby boy into the fabric of their forever family. Still others waiting to bring three new sons home once necessary paperwork is completed.   Mother's Day always  brings about conflicting emotions for me.  Mindful of those I know facing their first Mother's Day without their moms.  Others celebrating their first Mother's Day with a baby in their arms... arms that have been previously empty from infertility for years upon years.  Still others facing their first Mother's Day without their children.  Jesus, be so near. 
But, tonight I am sitting in a place of immense gratitude.  Not just a casual "Thank you, Jesus."  It's an overwhelming sense of contentment and utter THANKSGIVING.  I have sat and contemplated years past... years when Brycen was a baby.  I JUST REGISTERED HIM FOR HIGH SCHOOL who am I? My first Mother's Day with two babies under three.  It was a physically exhausting season, but one that taught me so much about Jesus and grace and LETTING SOME THINGS GO (insert Hallelujah Chorus here).  After having Brycen and Regan 20 months apart, we were not expecting to have four years between Regan and Corbin.  So, that first Mother's Day with him was extra sweet, too.  Then, along came Hudson (surprise!).  At the time, we were praying about whether our family was complete or not.  Little did we know. 
God was calling us to walk a road that proved to be far harder than I ever imagined.  It also proved to be far more rewarding.  When I think about this particular Mother's Day, my mind drifts to the other side of the globe where a young woman is waking up to start her day.  It will, most assuredly, be a day full of hard work from early morning until late at night.  I think about the features of her face... ones I memorized as I sat beside her in November.  I'm thinking about how she works full-time and still chooses to go to school (this is why I CANNOT deal with complaining about opportunities to go to school and get an education).  I'm grinning as I type, because she wants to be a teacher.  I believe in her and I can't wait to see her dream become a reality.  Her name is Maso and she is most assuredly part of our family.  I see her tenacity everyday in how Tyson will not quit until he masters what he sets his mind to.  I see her courage everyday when I watch him face new circumstances, challenges, or struggles with sheer determination.  I see her bravery everyday when he chooses to notice our differences, or chooses not to cry when school is hard, or chooses to try something new that initially seems scary.  I see here flawless ebony skin and killer hair everyday when I look at his face and fix his hair which reminds me of how good his hair always smells. I see her love for learning everyday when I teach him something  and he just flat out gets it on the first time.  It's really unbelievable, if I am being honest.  I see her selflessness everyday when he willingly offers others his last piece of candy, his favorite toy, or his clothes, food, YOU NAME IT.  He literally can't NOT share or think of others first.  It's my favorite trait of hers that I see in him.  Just like Brycen looks like my dad, and Regan seems to be looking more and more like me, and Corbin is a sweet mix, and Hudson looks like Mark gave birth to him exactly like Mark (and acts exactly like him, too!), I love that I get to know Maso by getting to know Tyson.  A year ago I didn't know his favorite food (which happens to be sperghetti spaghetti today), his favorite color (right now it's blue), his uncanny ability to know what I need before I need it and seems to be waiting with what I need next in his hands, or his contagious laugh.  As he asked me earlier in the week if Brycen, Regan, Corbin, and Hudson were all born in America BLESS I wasn't initially tracking with him.  But then he said, "I thought so because they have yellow skin and since I have brown skin I was born in Africa."  It was a great opportunity to explain that not everyone with brown skin was born in Africa, but also to tell him AGAIN how beautiful he is and about Maso having perfect brown skin like him.  It's those conversations that take me back and bluntly remind me that she gave him so much that I couldn't.  I love her for that.  I love that she gave him a chance at life and those beautiful curls and that she gave us the humbling, distinct privilege to meet her.  She gave us the chance to be his parents.  She gave me the responsibility and HONOR to be his mom.  I am so grateful she realized I could give him something she couldn't.  The weight of that humility and selfless love continues to weigh on me.... it's a yoke I gladly bear. 
On this Mother's Day, I am also celebrating Brycen Woods McKeehan.  He made me a mom and he continues to teach me so much.  He is self-disciplined like few people I know.  He is a hard-worker and passionate about basketball, food, and all things Florida Gators gag me.  I am mostly celebrating his love for others, hunger for God's Word, and his leadership role in our family.  Despite his being (way) taller than me, I love that he never pulls away from a kiss from me, even in front of his friends. 
I am also celebrating Regan Claire McKeehan.  I am not sure I have ever known (literally) anyone so sensitive to the needs of others.  The only thing bigger than her joy is her heart.  Just this week she said, "I try to be her friend, even though she is kind of annoying, because no one else is her friend..."  She is a creative mind with a passion for theater, music, film editing, and photography.  She often mentions what God is teaching her from her quiet times and then I see her noticeably change as a result of those times with Him.  She loves a coffee date with her Momma and there is no other girl on planet earth I would rather have coffee with than her. 
Next, I celebrate Corbin Vaughn McKeehan.  I love how he keeps us all on our toes with his "Corbinese."  He tends to have his own language, often combining words and saying words in unique ways, which I LOVE.  He, too, is creative, and so gentle.  He is compassionate toward others and thrives on words of affirmation.  Corbin loves to collect things and keeps everything.  He loves to curl up beside me every night and fall asleep on the couch holding my hand.  There is no other 8 year old on planet earth I would rather have than him.
Next, I celebrate Hudson Daniel McKeehan.  No one can flip his hair and bat his blue eyes like Hudson Dan.  He has charisma and a sense of humor that few have.  He loves things neat and organized and he folds laundry better than me.  I am not complaining. He always gives his best to whatever he is doing.... schoolwork, handwriting, basketball, drawing a picture, folding a shirt, etc.  He takes great pride in a job well done.  Hudson is a social guy who has many friends and who loves deeply.  One of my favorite parts of any day is when he is going to bed and he says, "Bend down, Mom, so I can give you our special kiss."  Then, he kisses my forehead, my right cheek, my left cheek, the tip of my nose, and finally my lips. 
Lastly, I celebrate Tyson Asnake McKeehan.  Just typing McKeehan by his name is surreal.  Tyson is kind and gentle.  He is very smart and VERY witty.  He thoroughly enjoys a good nap, long hugs, and anything sweet to eat.  He gives hundreds of spontaneous hugs a day and loves to help me cook dinner, clean the bathrooms, vacuum the rugs, bag the groceries... you name it, he is helping with it he even likes to "help" me pump gas.  My favorite part of today was when he laid his head over on my shoulder just before bed, exhausted from a long day of playing hard outside, and he said, "tomorrow is Mother's Day.  I love you being my mom."  I scooped him up and rocked him to sleep with tears hot in my eyes. 
This Mother's Day is special at our house.  The Lord continues to grow our hearts, our love, and our home with more than we could've ever thought, imagined, or dreamed.  I am undone with gratitude that He lets us live this life.  It's all Jesus and only Jesus will do.
Wherever you are celebrating or however you might be grieving, I am mindful of you as this day begins.  For some of you, you might wish the day wouldn't come, as it brings so much pain.  You aren't alone.  Whatever your circumstances, I simply want you to know that you are loved.  You are appreciated.  You are enough.  And there is no one else like you on earth.  Today, I celebrate you. 

And Maso.  I honor and celebrate and pray for Maso. 

Happy Mother's Day.