If I could just leave the cursor flashing after that word and leave it as my post today I would. One simple word. So much impact. When I think about the fatherless of the world it makes my stomach turn a bit. Something in me is stirred to tears at the mere thought. Fatherless.
From a girl with the world's best Dad, being fatherless is so difficult for me for comprehend. With a dad who loves me and has taught me about unconditional love, the mere thought of life without Dad is hard to even allow myself to imagine. To be honest, the idea of being orphaned is something in years past I would have said, "Me? Orphaned? No way." The part of me that likes to paint a rose-colored picture of myself and see myself through eyes of pride and arrogance. The reality is, I, of all people, can relate to being an orphan. Spiritually, I was without hope, without love, without a Father (Psalm 68:5). Fatherless.
I was reminded Sunday night during church that God chose to step out of heaven, put on flesh in the form of Jesus, and come to live among His people, making a way for reconciliation. Making Himself like us, knowing our struggles, temptations, stresses. Unlike us, facing all of this life perfectly. Amazing. Because of His great love for me, for us, He made a way for mankind to know Him, love Him, serve Him, live for Him. I'm so grateful my Dad taught me about my offer of adoption in Christ (Eph 1:5). My adoption into His family changed my life. Fatherless no more.
Fatherless.
It's been what has been on my heart and mind for a few days. I have a daughter living half way around the world fatherless today. She has no idea she is loved, fought for, pursued. She has no idea she has hope, love, a father. Sigh. It often brings about a sense of urgency for me and I become overwhelmed with how far we have to go to get her home. I begin to feel desperate and apprehensive. In those moments I am reminded that our strength is only renewed in waiting on the Lord (Isaiah 40:31)... not paperwork, signatures, money, or approval. Waiting on any of those will deplete my strength. But, waiting on the Lord renews my strength. So, we wait.
But, during that same Sunday night service I was introduced to a passage that has changed my perspective. When I consider as many "what ifs" as my mind will allow regarding our adoption it becomes overwhelming. Not knowing our daughters history, what she has seen or endured, not knowing if she's ever appropriately bonded with anyone in her life makes me wonder sometimes how all that will impact our family and how she will respond to our love. It can make me, as a mom, feel somewhat inadequate. I'm grateful for inadequacy. In it, I must rest in His surplus of adequacy! I was reminded from Hebrews 2: 17-18 that because Christ came, fully God and fully man, He was made human in EVERY way. No matter what our daughter has faced, is facing, or will face, He understands, He has been there, He overcame. Sigh. It has never been and will never be my purpose to fill in all of her hurt. I will try with every ounce of who I am to help her heal in a healthy way, to introduce her to unconditional love, and to introduce her to the One who fully understands and knows her. But, only He can completely heal her and understand where she has been. I am so grateful for Him. I am also grateful she will one day know the feeling of "at least a thousand kisses a day" (Mark's goal for the kids!), the unconditional love of a proud dad, the "cuddle time" just before bed in the recliner, the down-on-one knee open-armed hug from her dad. I can't wait for her to know him and to know HIM. Fatherless no more.
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