Home

We are back home after a fun-filled week in freezing cold Orlando.  Despite the "cooler than average" temperatures, we had a great week!  I have tried to think of what all to put on the blog and how to try to do it all justice.  Once I freed myself of the expectation of having to get it "right" I just decided to sit and type.  There is so much in my heart and mind, I had to get some of it out!
It was a hot June night the last time we walked out of the Magic Kingdom in Orlando in the summer of 2014.  As usual, I was trying to procrastinate to avoid leaving the park because Disney is my happy place in every sense of the word in an attempt to prolong vacation.  As we walked out, hand-in-hand, I said with tears brimming in my eyes, "Next time we are here, there will be seven of us."  I had no idea at the time if our fifth child would be a boy or a girl or how old he/she would be.  What I DID know was that I didn't want to come back without him/her. As the months turned to (more) years, we DID eventually see the sweetest head of brown curly hair with the most beautiful brown eyes and a smile that will melt any heart.  It was our Tyson.  As the process moved slower than molasses forward, we were told we should travel to get him sometime in January 2016.  Therefore, we thought we were more than "safe" to book our first family vacation to Disney for October 2016.  Little did we know. As last summer came and went and we still had no travel dates or that final letter from MOWA, I couldn't seem to bring myself to even think about our upcoming Disney vacation. I even mentioned it to some of you with words like, "It's going to be one of the hardest things I have ever done to pack the car and go there without him.  The whole trip was for us to all be a family together on vacation for the first time."  None of it made sense or felt right.  I couldn't seem to think about it without tears, knowing I had to pull it together for the other 5 people who were hoping for a fun trip.  In His perfect timing, we found out in early August that we had received our final letter and we would be traveling to Ethiopia in October to finally pick up our boy.  Just like that, God redeemed.  We were so grateful our Disney plans were able to be moved from fall break to Spring Break.  So, we packed up the car and headed out, making half the trip on Friday night and finishing it up on Saturday.  As we were packing the car Friday,  Holy Spirit reminded me of the date... March 10th.  One year ago, on March 10, 2016, I typed my hardest blog post.  We had unpacked our bags for Ethiopia and had learned the wait was going to be far longer than anyone suspected.  No end in sight and little hope that we would even make it to Ethiopia before Tyson's 6th birthday in November.  I quickly ran inside from helping Mark get the car loaded and pulled up the blog to read the words I had posted one year, to the date, earlier.  I had just wanted him to be home.. with his family.  The words I had posted brought burning tears to my eyes, as the wounds felt so raw all over again.  I was suddenly right back in that dining room chair typing with tears pouring out of my eyes in grief.  Yet, here we were, one year later, packing the car for Disney as a family of seven.  Not only surviving, but thriving. 
HOME.
I mentioned the date to Mark as we continued packing and we were both so thankful for where the Lord has brought us in a mere 365 days.  It's crazy to consider how different our lives are.  Several times throughout the drive on Friday night I cried, just looking back in the van and seeing five sweet faces all together for this trip, a trip six of us have dreamed about for three years.  I was so mindful of all those still in the wait as months turn to years, birthdays come and go, holidays come around AGAIN, and seasons change with no new movement.  It's unbelievably painful and hard and frustrating.  But, as we drove, I was recollecting all the passages that I relied on in those days of wait and how GOOD GRIEF they all proved to be nothing but TRUTH I could bet my life on. Verses like Proverbs 13:12, "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life," and Colossians 1:11, "being strengthened with all power, according to His glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy."  In His time, He restores, He brings hope, He redeems, He mends.  For those in the long, dark tunnel of waiting where you feel like you see no light behind you or before you, keep going.  The One who called you is faithful.  He will do it (1 Thess 5:24).
So, off we went to Disney with only a few hundred "Are we there yet?" 's along the way.  Tyson asking nearly all of them.  He was beside himself at the thought of being able to "put his head under" swimming, as he had never been in a swimming pool before.  It was all he could do to sit in the car for 12 hours thinking about what that water would feel like!  We finally arrived to our resort (we stayed off site at an amazing resort as friends gifted us with their Timeshare) and before we could get the bags unpacked, Tyson had his puddle jumper float on over his clothes.  It was so sweet to come home after grocery shopping and dinner and put swimming trunks on him.  He had never worn any and didn't even know what they were.  He thought you just swam in any shorts you could find (we assured him that plan works, too!).  Off we went and I am not exaggerating when I tell you, the joy and excitement was palpable.  He could not stop smiling and giggling and skipping.  I was trying to take it all in and even found myself watching in slow motion for much of it, like when Mark was buckling his float on him poolside and his smile was beaming, his feet dancing, and his eyes wide as he looked at the pool.  Off he went.  No fear. His wet curls melted all of our hearts and his joy was contagious.  It was so tender to sit and watch the 5 of them playing together in the pool as the sun went down.  
The next morning we were up and attem early to head out to the Magic Kingdom.  If you follow me on Instagram, you know I posted a picture of Tyson on the tram in the parking lot.  He thought the tram was fun... I knew then, we were in for a fun few days.  As we navigated the tram and the Ferryboat because your first time to the Magic Kingdom should always be done by Ferryboat NOT monorail. SO MAGICAL., I was somewhat preoccupied with logistics and crowds and keeping everyone together.  But, when we were all through the bag check and I turned around to see the entrance, grabbing hands and walking through the first arched "tunnel" entering the Magic Kingdom, I closed my eyes and smiled as I prayed a prayer of thanksgiving.  Here we were.  All seven of us.  It wasn't so much about the place (though it is so magical) as it was HIS FAITHFULNESS.  I was overwhelmed with feeling redemption through and through.  Beauty from ashes, hope from hopelessness, son from orphan. For the first hour of our first day, I was on the verge of tears constantly because seeing talking Mickey first thing and watching Tyson's eyes light up was just too much as I took it all in.  Mark asked me at one point if I needed to go sit somewhere and bawl to get it all out.  He knows me well. 
The week went by slowly... in all the right ways.  The kind of slow that you want on vacation is the kind of slow we had.  Yet, it also went by quickly.  Highlights were Tyson meeting Buzz and Woody, Corbin seeing Ariel (again), Regan hugging Mulan (her favorite), Hudson talking with Kylo Ren, and Brycen seeing the First Order... whatever all that means.  Here's the deal, when it comes to Star Wars, I AM CLUELESS.  I don't know who is who and how they are all related and blah, blah, blah, but my husband and kids all love it, so Momma goes along for the ride.  Our favorite thing Tyson said (around day 3) was, "Daddy, I am tired of my legs."  Mark replied, fighting back a laugh, "Buddy, I know.  My legs are tired, too." 
As the week went on, I could tell Tyson was tired, but he kept trucking and walking and waiting like a champ.  Perhaps one of my best memories of the week was on Thursday when Tyson curled up on my lap and said, "Mom, when are we going home?  I love our home."  It was his way of saying, "I AM DONE."  But, something in me was so moved to hear those words, "I love our home."  It was beautiful confirmation that he knows he belongs, he is comfortable at home, and it offers him a sense of stability.  I answered his question and held him for a long time.  I told him over and over again how happy we were that he was home with us and that I know he missed being in Knoxville, but anytime we are all together, it can feel like home.  He shook his "yes," laid his head over on me and rested. Home.
Our time together was so fun and sweet.  We were able to have our first full week of just being together and it was quite the dream for this Momma.  Tyson experienced his first sunscreen, swimming pool, hot tub, SPLASH MOUNTAIN, monorail, ferryboat, turkey leg (he had fries, but finished off Corbin's turkey leg), magic band (his mind was blown), FIREWORKS... oh my, the fireworks.  I am tearing up thinking about it.  At first he just stared, but when big, bright fireworks would burst behind Cinderella's castle, he would get bright-eyed, mouth gaping open, even putting his hand over his mouth a time or two.  As I held him, I watched him more than the fireworks. Yes, I cried. Firsts are just so much fun.
A few days before we left, Tyson had said my name a million times one day.  I am grateful, but you Momma's out there know sometimes (really, it's a rarity) you just want to go 5 whole minutes without hearing, "Momma."  Please hear me out, I am so happy to hear it, but on the one millionth time in an hour....well, you get the idea.  But about the time I felt myself getting frustrated I remembered all the days of waiting and longing to hear him say my name.  And then I sat and thought about if there were days at the orphanage that he wondered what it would be like to have a Mommy and how it would feel to say her name.  The frustration quickly subsided and I was thankful all over again that now he knows what it is like to have a mommy, what she looks like, and how it feels to say her name.  I mentioned that thought to Mark that night, confessing that about the time I was going to pull my hair out, Holy Spirit stopped me and let me see a new perspective .  But, I never said anything to Tyson about it.  Just today as he and I were doing school, he was procrastinating on handwriting (ahem) and staring out the window.  I gently said, "Ty, stay on task.  Finish what you start without me reminding you, please.  Stay on task."  As if he didn't even hear me he said,  "Mommy, when I was in Ethiopia," my ears perked up..."I thinked about having a mom."  I looked at him, trying not to burst into tears and I said, "You did, buddy? Well, I thought about you.  Is having a mommy what you wanted?  Is it what you thought it would be like?"  He didn't shift his focus and he said, "It's better."  Without another prompting, he looked down at his handwriting page and went back to work.  I got up and went to my room to cry.  When I came back in, I hugged him and told him (again) how much I love being his mom.  In that moment I knew the happiest place on earth isn't Disney (but, man, it's close).  It's right here... there really is no place like home.