I never dreamed six months would pass between posts. I also never dreamed we would still be waiting. Though we believe our days of waiting are coming to a close, I am learning to celebrate the process. What a process. I have never been much of one to ask, "Why?" Seems to me, God doesn't owe us an explanation and even if He gave one it likely wouldn't be "good enough" to ease my heart ache. I trust Him. I trust His timing. And, I am learning to trust the veils He hangs. And the kindness He extends
When the Veil thins.
There are countless families waiting, much like us. That neither eases the heartache or justifies it, it simply reminds me that we are not alone. Since we began our adoption 2 1/2 years ago, our lives have changed so much. Our priorities have changed so much. Our perspective has changed so much. God has been so faithful to allow us the privilege of walking down roads of caring for orphans through so many family and friends. Some through the foster system, some foster to adopt, some through domestic adoption, and others through international adoption. The many faces of adoption still melt my heart and leave me undone. It has been a joy to serve these families as well as to be served by them. Another opportunity that came to us in the process was caring for orphans and restaveks (child slaves) in Haiti. As many of you know, we have been actively involved in opening a home in Gressier, Haiti for 5 rescued restaveks. Our time in Haiti has been sweet and hard and rewarding and stretching and revealing and humbling. I am still blown away that God allows human beings to be even a small part in His plan to make all things new. But, He is the faithful One... He, indeed, is making all things new. Those sweet young ladies (and babies) living at Kay Libete (The Freedom House) are tangible evidences of His redemptive plan. I had the privilege of traveling back to Gressier with two young ladies from our church at the end of May. It had been 7 weeks since my previous trip and I had prayed and hoped I would be in Ethiopia and unable to make the May trip. But, God had a different plan and it was on the May trip that I realized His faithfulness
when the veil thins.
Off and on for several months I would let the doubts and questions swarm in my head for a bit, but would try to quickly speak His truths to the lies and let fear subside. I want to be authentic in this journey....This is the hardest thing I have ever done. We have ever done. And the most beautiful. There are days I know God has been purposed in hanging veils and other days I am frustrated at the obscurity and uncertainty the hanging veils leave. His plans are full of purpose and love. That has never wavered. But, when you can't make sense of the plan or when it doesn't go anything like you expected, there are days it's difficult to sort truth from lies. This makes His lavish grace more tangible
when the veil thins.
On the plane ride to Haiti in May I was journaling while listening to music on my iPod. I was pouring out my prayers regarding adoption in my journal and then it happened. The Holy Spirit spoke to my heart loud and clear. I could hardly control my tears because I knew He was speaking words of healing to my hurting heart. The more I listened, the faster my pen wrote. As I sat writing, one kind, unnecessary, generous "why" came.
The Veil Thinned.
If I had my way and our referral had come when everyone expected (including our agency) we would not have had the opportunity to invest in Haiti. At least in this season. In God's Sovereignty I believe the young ladies at Kay Libete would have found restoration. However, the role they each play in our lives is such a blessing, my eyes blurred at the mere thought of life without them. Had I had my way, I would have never known the joy of watching one of them be baptized after giving her life to Jesus while we were there in April. Or the joy of knowing one rescued from a voodoo temple now sleeps safely and securely in the arms of Jesus. Oh the peace that comes
when the veil thins.
Again, God owes us no "why." We aren't asking Him for one. We do believe the process has made us more compassionate to those longing (on many levels regarding many circumstances). It has most certainly taught us more about His heart toward us, His extravagant pursuit of us, His tender love for us even before we trust Him. As we press on in our final days before we see her face, we are trusting Him more than ever. We have come to REALLY realize our total dependence MUST be on Him. No other circumstance has pushed us to our knees or forced us to lay all we have at His feet like this journey. I am so thankful for the process. Whatever veils might be hanging for you right now.... those things that are not clear, those plans that are not going like you believed they would, those circumstances that are uncertain and unpredictable... I pray you, too, will begin to see the beauty in the process. It certainly hasn't come naturally for me. It has not been easy or even fun most days. But, it has been beautiful. In your season of longing, I pray you will push to see His face more and to trust Him fully. Even when you know there is no answer that would satisfy your "why," I pray you will have renewed strength as you wait on Him. And, out of nowhere He might grab hold of your pen mid-air and take your breath away! I am praying you will see His extravagant love, unmatched kindness, limitless grace, and tender mercies for you
when the veil thins.
