Having recently completed in-depth studies through the book of Daniel and through Esther, I am forever amazed at God's attention to detail in His timing. From the "seven seven's and the sixty-two sevens"mentioned in Daniel to the days leading up to Esther's gaining the crown to the years between becoming Queen until she declared, "If I die, then I die" on behalf of her Jewish people. It's all a mystery to me how He orchestrates and plans, perfect and precise in every detail, in every day, in every wait. Through these studies and our current circumstances I have read more about seasons of waiting in scripture than I even knew existed- even His wait to the cross, knowing it was surely coming. In all of that I am grateful to serve a timely God and to know
He waits, too.
Saturday night I was putting the little boys to bed and Hudson wanted to sleep with Brycen while Corbin wanted to sleep with Regan. So, I tucked Hudson in and as I was just sitting beside him on the bed Brycen came and playfully "tackled" me onto the bed, resting his head on my chest. Then, as I instructed him to go on and get ready for bed he said, "Mom, when are we going to get a referral? I have missed Lakin so much today." Sigh. Grateful his head was on my chest and he couldn't see my tears I swallowed hard and prayed for wisdom and words. I simply said,
"He waits, too."
I sat in silence for a few seconds collecting myself and then tried to explain to Brycen all the timelines, processes, averages, and where we stood in all of that according to "the system." Then, I tried to explain to a 9 year old what can be difficult to flesh out for this 34 year old, and that is this truth:
He waits, too.
I explained to Brycen that just like I, as his mother, want him to drive one day, go to college or the career God has for him, have a wife and children, and fulfill the purpose God has set before him, I can't go out now and buy him a car, college textbooks, or rent his wedding tux. He simply isn't ready. There is a lot he has to learn before he is ready for the responsibility and he has some growing to do before he can handle it all. Just like I am looking forward to all those new adventures with him, I am waiting for those things with him, not keeping them from him with a malicious heart. I am not dangling those things out in front of him to taunt him or provoke anger, simply waiting. In just the same way,
He waits, too
with us. In my mere human words I tried to help Brycen understand that God isn't withholding from us to be mean or to produce bitterness in us. He knows the perfect time and we still have growing to do before we are ready for her or before she is ready for us. I tried to help him understand that knowing all of that and fulling believing it doesn't make it easy, but it does make it purposed. It doesn't make the longing go away, but it does push us to seek His heart and His ways over what we can see with our human eyes. Brycen took it all in and seemed to "get it," particularly excited about the part that God, above all, is our Loving Father, waiting with us.
I really believe this truth and have found Him to be so faithful in days, weeks, and months that pass. His word continues to encourage me and His steadfast love continues to prove trustworthy. The wait, though hard, is pushing us past what we were capable of in our own strength and forcing to rely on His strength more than ever before. Waiting on Him renews our strength. Nothing else. I really love where God has each of us on this journey and I am grateful that Brycen voiced his feelings. It was another reminder to me of how God is working, setting in motion what is to come, even when it feels so far away.
As information is passed along to us we try to keep it "close to our hearts" not relying on statistics or averages and certainly not asking anyone else to on our behalf. We do believe the wait time to get matched with a daughter (our referral) will be longer than we thought even after knowing it had been extended. His will. His way. Not one day goes without His watchful eye. Not one tear goes without being noticed, not one heartache without a Healer. It brings me such comfort to know that I have a Loving Heavenly Father who longs for the day for our sweet girl to be home with us. As we wait and pray, grow and learn, long and dream, we know He is there and
He waits, too.
