Immeasurably More

I have been sitting here watching a flashing cursor for five solid minutes.  Yesterday Mark and I were chatting about how we were feeling about being in the air heading to Ethiopia.  During the conversation I said, "Many events that are life changing come without warning and happen so fast. Some are good, some are bad.  But, sometimes you have no time to prepare for something life altering.  There are only a few days in one's life that you know in advance will forever change your life.... the day your babies are born, your wedding day, and on occasion the start of a new job.  When we get off this airplane, we KNOW our lives will never be the same."  It's a profound thought.  One I have given so much thought to over the past week.  Stepping into something so much bigger than us forces us to rely on Holy Spirit to do the work and prepare the way.  We can see it coming, but we have no idea the intricate details of how each step will look, how long each will take, how Tyson would respond to us, if he would be welcoming of us, etc.  We knew/know God knows.  And, like nothing I have experienced before, God did something profound today.

Immeasurably more.  That's what He did because that's Who He is.

We landed in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia right on scheduled time (7:04am local time, midnight last night for you EST folks).  Things went seamlessly really from flights to transportation to the guesthouse to the accommodations at the house.  All the things we had discussed as "what ifs" seemed to melt away the closer we got and the more before us we realized He was.  When we arrived at the airport and met up with the Bethany employee who is hosting us (he is awesome), he mentioned to us in the van ride from the airport to the guesthouse, that Tyson (we call him by his Ethiopian name here) knew about us and that he was very excited to meet us today.  Our ears perked up.  TODAY.  We looked at each other with tears and batted them away so we wouldn't miss any details.  We were told the plan was for us to go to visit Tyson at 3:30pm (8:30am for you) to give us time to rest and him time to get back from school.  Sounded like a great plan to us!

We quickly settled into our suite at the guesthouse (as quickly as 4 people can unpack 12 suitcases.  We added one last minute to accommodate the kids' school books).  Then, we decided to just take an hour long nap or we would never get on the right schedule (we are exhausted!).  Mark, Brycen, and Regan were fast asleep in 5 minutes.  I couldn't go to sleep, but I did rest.  The minutes were ticking away and after the one hour of rest, we ate lunch, played a few games, and began getting ready.  I have to say, I was excited and a bit anxious... just unsure of what to expect.  But, I remained remarkably at peace.  We kept looking at each other saying, "Can you believe we are here doing this?"  There have been countless times the past 6 years where we just kept saying, "How do you think you'll feel when...." or "Can you imagine what it will be like when..." AND HERE WE WERE.  DOING THOSE VERY THINGS we had dreamt about.  There was a knock on the door a few minutes until 3pm and we were told our ride was here.  So, we headed downstairs and got in the van.  The same Bethany employee (Mengistu) accompanied us and we went to pick up Tyson's social worker so she could join us.  She is the one who told him about us earlier this week.  When she got into the van, we quickly made "official" introductions, though we felt like we already knew each other.  We asked about his reaction to seeing our pictures and finding out he had a family.  She smiled big and said, "He was excited and just looked up at me with a big smile and said, 'when?' "  We were grateful to hear he was excited to meet us and that he was expecting us.  As we neared the orphanage Mark and I kept making eye contact like, "can you believe this?"  And then we saw the orphanage.  As the gate opened, I started videoing.  I didn't want to miss one single detail.
As the van doors opened we could hear the other children yelling Tyson's Ethiopian name, but we couldn't understand the rest.  The social worker told us they were yelling his name and saying, "Your family is here!"  We stood outside with the other children for  a few minutes (felt like forever). Then, Brycen said, "here he comes".  I am typing with tears streaming.... I turned to look beside a van that was parked and when he saw us he got the biggest smile, sped up, hugged each of us, saying, "Mom" and "Dad."  We knew right away he was made for us.  Many children, understandably, are timid, quiet, and often cry during the first meeting.  It is overwhelming for grown adults.... can you imagine for a 5 or 6 or 7 year old?  He immediately called Brycen and Regan by name (which astounded us) and gives us confirmation he has been staring at our family picture book for two straight days.  Then, he asked us where Corbin and Hudson were (by name!).  We explained to him they were in America, but they would be living with us once we left Ethiopia.  He was happy with that answer, grabbed my hand and said, "Mom, come!"  He wanted to show us how he climbed the jungle gym and rode a bike and a scooter.  We all kicked around a soccer ball for a long time and had the best time.  During soccer he fell and skinned his knee (and we swarmed him like he was in cardiac arrest).  He sat beside me on the cinderblock wall while the nannies went to get bandaids.  The whole time we sat there, he had his hand on my leg and didn't want any of the other children to touch him or me.  Just a Momma and her boy with a boo-boo.  What can I say?
After the fall, we colored. Just so happened the coloring book I took had stickers in it (which I hadn't really noticed).  But, that one page of stickers became quite the highlight.  We all had stickers on our faces, knees, shirts AND WE LOVED IT.  He kept like 6 stickers on his face most of the visit.  I wouldn't have had it any other way.  It was sweet to watch him share, making sure all the other children had stickers, too.  We took selfies and laughed at each other.

All of that was more than enough.  It had exceeded all our expectations given all we had heard. But, God did

immeasurably more.

Because that's Who He is.

We had discussed with our host that it was almost time for us to leave. So, I asked him if he would ask Tyson if he had something he wanted to say to us or a question to ask before we left for the day.  So, he asked Tyson.....and Ty looked down, thinking, and then replied, "Thank you and I love you."

and I died.

We had heard it a million times from others on the other side of this journey: he will be worth the wait.  In my heart I really, really hoped so.  But, we had gone down some DARK roads and seasons.  And, in an instant, every tear, valley, fight, battle, fear, delay, and problem became insignificant.  All of them led us to him, in this season, on this day and it was perfect.  He is worth it.
Tyson kept asking us when we were coming back (answer: tomorrow).  We will visit him every day until court on Tuesday.  Then, after court we will have a good-bye ceremony at the orphanage and then WE WILL LEAVE WITH HIM.  Crying again.  So, through the interpreter, he was told we would visit him after school the rest of the week and then we would come over again on the weekend, too.  He was so cute telling the host to make sure we knew he did NOT have school on Saturday or Sunday so we could come earlier in the day (can somebody just tell me: HOW CUTE IS THAT?)
Leaving the orphanage wasn't as hard as I had expected, though we wish we could have him with us RIGHT NOW.  But, he was so happy and excited about our visit tomorrow, it made it ok.  He let me nearly kiss his face off and then we left.  He waved with a big smile on his face as we drove out of the gate.  It felt perfect.  As we pulled away, Mark and I were both tearful because it had been so awesome and could've been so hard.  We couldn't help but recognize the power of prayer.  We know so many of you were praying for us right then.. we literally pulled into the orphanage at 3:32pm (8:32am for you).  We are thankful for those prayers and thankful for a God who exceeded every single expectation we had, our God who does

immeasurably more.

We are exhausted, as we had 5 hours of sleep Monday night and none of us slept much on the plane (Brycen with the most sleep at 2 hours and the window seat... go figure), but we have a restful day on the agenda for tomorrow.  We have plans to go visit Tyson again around 6pm just before we go to a traditional Ethiopian dinner and dancing!  The week is shaping up to look fairly busy, but all fun stuff! We are excited to experience it all.  When we can share face pictures and his name we will gladly do that (Tuesday after court).  Feel free to follow along at my instagram page or Mark's Facebook page.  Twitter isn't loading here, but we will update the others when we have wifi and time.

I just can't adequately express with mere human words how forever grateful we are for all of you who have stuck it out with us.  Through thick and thin.  Highs and lows.  Delays and successes.  Hard days and happy days.  You have been the hands and feet of Jesus to us for six SOLID years.  ROCK SOLID.  We know one of the ways God loves us and makes Himself known is by how we love each other.  To a watching world you have LOVED US WELL.  And, you've not only made God believable, but you've made Him to be the God who is capable of

immeasurably more.

humbled. grateful. hearts full to overflowing.  THANK YOU.

until he's home,

Carrie

AFRICA BOUND

I can't even tell you how many times I have dreamt of what I would type on this post.  Suffice it to say I wish I had a dollar for every time I've thought about it. And, now that it's here, I feel a wee bit hurried (understatement) because WE ARE LEAVING IN THREE DAYS.  Federal court in Ethiopia reopened Tuesday, Oct 11.  Our agency was able to submit our paperwork to request a court date.  Thursday, my phone rang around noon and when I saw the call was from Grand Rapids, MI I nearly screamed.  The rest of the day I had a million things to do and all my mind and heart could handle was cleaning out the refrigerator.   I mean... of all the things.  But, in the end, we got the details covered that mattered... Plane tickets bought, details of childcare for the little boys secured (Brycen and Regan are going with us), and made lists upon lists of what had to be done.  We had done as much in advance as we could, but so much can only be done after you have a travel date.
Please note, I did not write "travel dates."  The number one question we get is, "When are you coming home?"  That's a million dollar question!  Prior to court closure, this process was estimated to take around 4 weeks (sometimes more quickly).  That may still be the case, but during the closure, the process for printing birth certificates for adoption cases changed.  We are likely to be one of the very first using this new system.  I will try to explain it as best I understand it... please know these things change often in Ethiopia.  But, in the past, after court a new birth certificate is printed showing the child's new name.  Now, we will keep his original birth certificate and the Kebele (office that does birth certificates) will print an adoption certificate that will go with his birth certificate to show his new name.  The big issue with this is that we have to use the Kebele that has jurisdiction over our case.  This particular Kebele has not yet started printing adoption certificates.  So, our agency has requested for us to have permission to use a different Kebele, though no answer has been given about that.  Should that be declined, our agency has some other plans to get higher government agencies involved due to the fact that this becomes a child welfare issue because the lack of printing the certificates prevents children from having homes.  We don't know when our particular Kebele will begin printing this necessary document or if we will be able to use a separate Kebele.  THIS IS OUR BIGGEST PRAYER REQUEST FOR OUR TRIP.  This is important because after court, the first thing we need is his new birth certificate/adoption certificate in order to be able to get him a visa and passport.  Obviously, both are needed for him to come home.  We are praying we can get home in 5 weeks (or sooner), but know with this new system there are sure to be delays.
Another facet of coming home: THE AIRPORT IN KNOXVILLE.  WE WANT YOU THERE.  As I have written in previous posts, we absolutely want you and your family to feel free to come to the airport to welcome Tyson home.  I will just (really sweetly and kindly) remind you that he has NO CLUE who Tyson McKeehan is.  Once we are able to publicly share his Ethiopian first name, we will do that (after court on the 25th).  So, I will update from Ethiopia ( we will have wifi in our guest house) as to how we are doing and he is doing.  Should we start calling him "Tyson" before we make it home, I will let you know so you will know what name to use should anyone want to make signs (eyes looking at you Kristen Rose).  I will also just remind us all (me included) that we may or may not be able to see everyone individually at the airport.  If it is too overwhelming for him, we will scoop him up and head out the door.  So, we are grateful for your understanding.  Pastor Matt Paradis will be at the airport giving instructions on where to stand... we just want our immediate families (the little boys, grandparents, etc) up by where we will first enter and we want all of you AWESOME PEOPLE just past that closer to the escalators (if you're familiar with our small airport).  We encourage you to come and  make it a night of worship... one where we celebrate the faithfulness of Jesus.  One where you reflect on your own adoption in Christ.  We pray our coming home is a tangible picture of GOD's pursuit of you and the freedom that came to you once you entered a relationship with Him.  At the airport, I will likely be the one in the corner curled up in the fetal position crying.  Or, I might be the one floating on a cloud, arms raised, head looking upward, tears streaming down my face.  HE IS FAITHFUL. Either way, the One we celebrate is JESUS and the one we welcome home is Tyson.

My mind is reeling with things to say, but here's the deal.  Momma has stuff to do.  When your 1st grader has a project due while you are away involving making a 3D Noah's ark, you know what you do with 3 days to go? You build an ark, of course.  And paint it.  (Or help him... but we used hot glue, so it was Momma doing the gluing).  And then there's laundry to catch up, house to clean (because there is NO CLEAN LIKE NESTING CLEAN. Can I get an "amen"?).  I am not sure when my house will get SO clean and decluttered after we are all home and we aren't having or bringing home babies anymore. But, for now, I will use this nesting energy and finish what I started.  Bags are packed... all 11 suitcases and 3 backpacks (his backpack is in a suitcase).  Heart is full (so full it might explode).  Eyes are constantly on the verge of tears (and I was the crazy lady SOBBING MY EYES OUT in the Wal-Mart parking lot this morning.  SO undone with gratitude that He made a way for us to do this).
We are continually grateful for your prayers for safe travel, for the Kebele to begin processing adoption certificates, and for Tyson's transition to be seamless.  We will post pictures as soon as we can!  Feel free to follow me on Instagram and Twitter (@carriemckeehan).  Or, unfollow me if you don't want PICTURE CUTENESS OVERLOAD for the next month.

Singing praises.  So grateful for your prayers, love, and support (from helping with kids to cooking meals to watching the house to getting our mail to cleaning our house to helping financially to letting me cry for the past 6 years at random times to restocking our pantry after we return to words of encouragement, etc.  THE LIST IS LONG).  We literally wouldn't be here, doing this, without you.  Undone.

I look forward to our next post... I will have a little sidekick helping with that one!

Until he's home,
Carrie

HE WILL DO IT

Good grief.  I don't even know where to start.  For many of you who live locally I had told you in recent months that when we received our positive recommendation letter from Federal MOWCA you would hear me scream.  Please forgive me for letting you down.  This week wasn't exactly... I don't know... a barrel of laughs.  Last Thursday I started feeling bad, but chalked it all up to allergies and not sleeping well.  Then, on Friday the longer the day went on the worse I felt.  I finally managed to go to the walk-in clinic Friday night (a week ago).  Get this.  I HAD THE FLU.  Who gets the flu when it's 95 degrees outside?  Apparently me (how DUMB is that?).  Anyway, suffice it to say, the flu wasn't making any plans to be a short-term visitor.  Despite my Tamiflu, this crazy fever, cough, aches, and mucous decided to take full advantage of the "5-7 days on average" reputation it has.  So, when Tuesday morning came, I was finally entering the first hours of being fever-free and I FELT LIKE I HAD BEEN HIT BY A MACK TRUCK.  We won't even mention what I looked like.  Moving on... Mark woke as usual that morning and I waved to him from my post on the couch as he headed out the door.  Then, I fell back to sleep with my foggy brain in tow.  It felt like Mark was immediately busting back through the door in a blaze of glory.  I sat up in a sleepy stupor trying to figure out what planet I was on.  Somewhere in all of the startling and smiles, I heard him say, "WE ARE GOING TO ETHIOPIA! Jamie called and we got our letter!"  I REALLY WAS BESIDE MYSELF BUT NO ONE COULD HEAR ME SCREAM (including those in the room with me) BECAUSE I HAVE NO VOICE.  I sat up and repeatedly said, "Are you serious?" but all he could hear (due to the lack of voice) was, "....serious?"  He kept reassuring me that our agency had our POSITIVE RECOMMENDATION LETTER in their hands and they would be filing for a court date Wednesday.  I know all the adoption lingo makes some of you want to curl up in a corner in the fetal position, but for the sake of those who like hearing the process, I will briefly explain how this part works.
Many of you have asked how we could get our letter with court being closed.  The much needed, much prayed over letter comes from the Ministry of Women's and Children's Affairs, a government entity (not an actual "ministry").  Once our agency gets our letter from MOWCA, we have all the necessary documents to file for a court date.  So, MOWCA and the court are two different offices.  Typically, when court is open, court dates are given within 24 hours and usually give you a date about a week later.  This would mean if court had been open Tuesday when our letter was available, we likely would've received our court date on Wednesday for the following Wednesday (this upcoming one). So, during rainy season only the court closes.  This means MOWCA is still reviewing cases and issuing recommendation letters, but families cannot travel until court reopens.  From what we understand someone in court works minimally during court closure just to assign court dates for families, making us have to wait a week, rather than the usual 24 hours to get our court date.  We are hoping to know that date by Wednesday. That court date will likely be late October to early November, but we will travel several days in advance in order to spend time with Tyson at his orphanage and to have an opportunity to travel to meet his birth family.  You know what I can't stop thinking about in regards to our court date?  THAT'S THE DAY HE BECOMES A MCKEEHAN.  We officially walk out of that courthouse a family of 7.  AND THAT IS OUR NEXT STEP....I can't even type those words without crying.  Our next step is hearing the judge declare him ours.  I am just beside myself all over again that God LETS us do this.

As the flu fog (& subsequent cough that makes me sound like I have the plague) have begun to fade and reality of all of this has begun to sink in, I keep coming back to this:

"The One who calls you is faithful, and HE will do it. " 1 Thessalonians 5:24

The One who calls.  That's not me.  That's not an agency.  That's not a government.  The One who calls is the one who is faithful.  None of the people (though they are AWESOME) who have helped us along the way in our agency, or our friends or family (though crazy awesome), or even the government... none of those are the One who calls or the One who is faithful.  HE'S THE ONE WHO DID IT.

I love this promise, one I have believed in faith countless times over the past six years.

HE WILL DO IT.

Sometimes you just have to say it outloud in the enemy's face so he knows you are on to him and you know the truth.  As I have looked back over these words this week, I am continually reminded of all those who still wait.  Goodness gracious.  Some are waiting on their own adoptions (many waiting on the same letter we've been waiting on), some on physical healing, some on marital healing, some on wanting their battle with infertility to be a thing of the past.  If I could pick each of you up and rock you in a rocking chair right now I WOULD.  The weight of the wait is not lost on me (or us).  IT IS HEAVY.  But, the beautiful thing about 1 Thessalonians 5:24 is this:

HE IS FAITHFUL. Period.

He can't NOT be faithful.  And, His faithfulness isn't dependent on if He gives us what we are asking for or not.  Or if He comes through in time (according to our timetables).  He is faithful even if scans and labs don't give us the hopeful news we wanted.  Here's the thing I praised Him for the most this week:  that He gives us any visible, tangible glimpses of His faithfulness is ASTOUNDING.  He doesn't owe us anything.  So, the mere fact that He still chooses to allow us to see His faithfulness IS WORTH CELEBRATING.  But, even if we were still waiting HE IS STILL FAITHFUL.

We have been overwhelmed and undone with gratitude over the sheer volume of texts, cards, hugs, calls, comments, posts, etc I've said it before, but it's true, so I will say it again:  This letter is all of OUR answer to prayer.  For each of you who have prayed and believed God for it, this answer is your answer to prayer.  I pray so much that as we walk out these final days of wait, we will do it with such compassion on those of you still in the waiting tunnel... not sure how much longer you have to go, yet so far in you can't see light in either direction.  I am asking God to somehow renew your hope after this week, but to know we are still with you. When your mountain moves and darkness gives way to light, we will dance with you.  Until then, we are standing with you in prayer and (when possible) in person.  We stand with you believing wholeheartedly that

HE IS FAITHFUL

and

HE WILL DO IT.

Thank you for walking so beautifully with us.  Tuesday night when someone asked what I had been feeling through the day, I responded with, "I have learned again how unbelievable our community is."  This victory is so sweet because you have chosen to come along side us.

Before I hop off of here.... I wanted to answer a few of your questions.

First, I don't even know what we need.  I'm tickled typing it, but it's true.  Because we had packed so well in January, I need to go back through our bags and see what is in there!  I believe we have everything, but if we have needs that arise, I will certainly let you know.  I DO know we may get a list of orphanage needs that we can take to leave at Tyson's orphanage.  When/If I get that list, I will pass it on to you, should any of you want to help.

Secondly, we will likely be in Ethiopia 2.5-3 weeks, but we have to be prepared for longer.  We will do our birth family meeting (which will be a 4 hour, overnight trip), spend time with Tyson at the orphanage, and then a couple days after we arrive we will have our court date.  Once we get the court decree, we can go PICK THAT SWEET THING UP and KEEP HIM FOREVER.  Somebody help me.  I can't even..... Then, after we kiss his face off (kidding.  sort of), we will have lots of other things to do.  We will do education there about Ethiopian culture, hair care, etc.  We will need to apply for his visa, passport, birth certificate (declaring his last name to be MCKEEHAN), and have a visa medical screening.  It doesn't sound like much, but it is a lot of paperwork that is all dependent on each other.  Once we collect all necessary documents, we can apply for an Embassy appointment with the US Embassy.  Once we complete that appointment.... WE COME HOME.

Next, Brycen and Regan will be joining us in Ethiopia.  Corbin and Hudson will be staying home with loving family and friends.  All the kids are aware of the plan and excited about it.  Hudson is particularly excited as his birthday is October 23.  When he first realized we would likely travel in October, he said, "Momma, can you please come back home with Tyson on my birthday so I will always forever know what my best birthday present was?"  And then I died.

Lastly, we will let you know the airport plan when we get closer to that time.  We have a mental plan and would love for you to come!  We will welcome everyone to be there when we get home as long as everyone knows we may not get to see everyone individually.  We sure hope to!  But, we will have to see how Tyson is handling it and if it's too overwhelming for him.  Also, when we can post his Ethiopian name, we will.  Remember, at the airport he won't know who Tyson McKeehan is:)

grateful to my core.

until he's home....
carrie

Sun Stand Still

I don't know what it is like to be a soldier in Joshua's army defeating your enemy and needing more daylight in order to destroy them all.  I DO however, know what it is like to need a miracle and more time.  I never intended to have so many weeks or months between posts.  To be honest, it isn't because I haven't had time or the desire to update.  It's been far more about not wanting to expose all my BLAH and tears for the world to see.  However, community is important.  Vital, actually.  So, I felt like it was time to update you on what we know as of today.  I will get back to Joshua in a few minutes... He has so much wisdom to offer on our situation.

On my last update we were waiting for another document from Addis MOWCA (this is equivalent to a state document) in order for Federal MOWCA to approve our case.  The needed document was something we already had in our documentation and our agency explained this to our federal MOWCA expert, the one who reviews our case and issues a positive or a negative recommendation on our case.  Ideally, you receive a positive recommendation, the head of Federal MOWCA signs your letter, and then a family travels and goes to court to finalize the adoption.  Our case has never been ideal or "normal."  Seems as though we have hit every bump in the road and had the worst possible timing at every single step.  Anyway, our federal expert finally made a recommendation for our case on June 1st.  Negative.  His reasoning was because he didn't believe Addis MOWCA (where Tyson is currently living and his guardian, the orphanage social worker, is currently living) had jurisdiction over him.  Our agency has never had a case where a negative was issued when the regional approval was from the same region where the child was living.  The thought behind the negative was that Federal MOWCA was wanting us to gain regional approval from the South Region, where Tyson was born (not Addis region where he is living.  To get approval from somewhere other than where the child lives is NOT the norm).  The problem with getting this new approval is that the South has been closed to international adoption for over two years.  And, that route would likely add years onto our wait.  Literally.  Years.  With no guarantee they would issue it. 

Needless to say, we were devastated and knew a negative recommendation in no way meant or means that the adoption can't happen, it simply means we have to figure out what paper work we need to get to satisfy all questions or concerns addressed by the expert.  Our agency immediately did something they have never done before.  They filed a formal written complaint against federal MOWCA, the head minister, and our federal expert.  In the formal complaint, our agency cited a case of another child who was born in the South (same region as Tyson), was in Tyson's same original orphanage, was transferred with Ty from that orphanage to his current orphanage, and that child's case received a positive review at the beginning of the year (when we were originally expected to travel).  The two cases should have needed IDENTICAL documentation.  So, our agency cited the gross inconsistencies in these cases, asking for federal MOWCA to re-review our case and to overturn their negative recommendation.  Literally, the difference in the other case and our case boils down to the expert who reviewed each one.  Had our case gone to another expert, we easily could've received a positive and already traveled and been back home.

Since June 2nd, when the complaint was filed, we have been waiting for a response from Federal MOWCA.  Two weeks ago our agency was able to secure two different meetings in the same week with the head of Federal MOWCA to discuss cases (one being ours).  The head minister was aware of our case and stated that as long as Tyson's transfer from his original orphanage to his current orphanage was legal, the negative would be overturned.  Remember the child who had the same transfer at the same time?  All signs point to that transfer being perfectly legal (the Ethiopian government was, after all, the one who closed that original orphanage and therefore forced the children to go to new orphanages).  So, our agency continues to go every day to federal MOWCA to inquire about our case.  One HUGE factor in all of this is timing... remember, ours has never been, I don't know, timely?  Ethiopian court closes every year for rainy season from August to October.  That means that from August 5 (approximately) to September 30 (approximately) no adoption cases will be heard in Ethiopian Federal court.  NO TRAVEL.  That's another whole week, right? Yes, but it takes about a week from a positive recommendation to a court date.  Meaning we have.... TOMORROW.

IN STEPS JOSHUA. 

Listen, we have heard our fair share of "you inspire me with how you handle all of this," and "you've taught me so much about endurance and patience and God's timing by watching you."  That is all really nice and we are genuinely grateful that in the mess and tears and frustration, God can somehow still shine through cracked jars of clay.  BUT WE ARE READY TO BRING HIM HOME AND NOT BE TEACHING SO MANY LESSONS ON PATIENCE :).  I haven't always handled this well.  I haven't always trusted God well.  I haven't always taken it and wholeheartedly believed that all this was working out for the good of anybody or anything.  My bed, floor, war room, and bible have more tear stains and taken more fist poundings than I care to admit.  But, I often in those moments of doubt, open my bible to Joshua 10.  In this process I have read this passage enough that if ink faded by the mere passing of the eye, it would be faint to the point of being unreadable.  

As Joshua led the Israelites to victory over their enemies in Ai and Jericho and had killed the kings over both towns, the king of Jerusalem became insecure and fearful of Joshua and his army.  To add to the fear and intimidation for Jerusalem's king, Joshua had joined forces with the Gibeonites, a large group of strong warriors.  Larger and stronger, even,  than those of Ai and Jericho.  So Jerusalem's scared king joined forces with 4 other Amorite kings in an effort to destroy Gibeon.  The combined attack forced Gibeon to call on their allies the Israelites.  So Joshua and his entire army set out for Gibeon.  The Lord told Joshua that He had given victory to Joshua over the Amorites and there was no need to fear.  In a surprise attack, Joshua took on the Amorite armies.  The Lord caused the enemy to be panicked and Israel was able to kill "a great number of them at Gibeon" (Joshua 10:10).  Joshua and his men kept going killing the enemy.  As the enemy retreated, do you know what God did?  I just love it.  He destroyed them with a hailstorm!  Talk about a bad day!  Verse 11 says that "the hail killed more of the enemy than the Israelites killed by the sword."  This particular part of the passage always forces a second read from me.  It reminds me that all my best efforts in my human power don't compare to what He can do in destroying the enemy.  No one could've seen a hailstorm coming! And yet, He was able to do more with an unexpected hailstorm than Joshua's whole army could do with swords, preparation, planning, and strategies.  The command of His voice ushered in destruction that no human could stand against.  Isn't that powerful?  So often God asks us to do what we can with the resources He has given.  He wants us to obey and walk in the Spirit so that we are positioned for His blessing. But, there often just comes a time when all our human effort won't get the job done.  The enemy is still bearing down and still trying to come against us.  That's when we have to step back and let God do what only God can do.  

Good grief, wouldn't it be nice if God would tell us what He has planned sometimes?  A heads up about the hailstorm He is sending to destroy the enemy, for instance.  But, as I read about Joshua, I find that because Joshua was faithful with what resources God had given and because Joshua continued to stay connected to Him in prayer (rather than being self-sufficient, relying on his well-laid plans, depending on his well-trained army, etc), God did what only GOD could do to bring the victory. The verse that gets me EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. is verse 12-13:

"On the day the Lord gave the Israelites victory over the Amorites, Joshua prayed to the Lord in front of all the people of Israel.   He said, 'Let the SUN STAND STILL over Gibeon, and the moon over the valley of Aijalon.' So the sun stood still and the moon stayed in place until the nation of Israel had defeated its enemies."

AND THE SUN STOOD STILL. 

 I can't even type it without crying.  God heard.  God cared.  God listened.  God answered.  His people needed more daylight!  They needed a miracle and more time.  I know God is capable of giving us that recommendation letter tomorrow. And, that is what I am praying for.... for a miracle and for the sun to stand still to lengthen the day tomorrow in Ethiopia.  He is able.  

I am also praying that if He chooses to wait that we will trust Him more than what our eyes can see.  I am praying my greatest desire will be nothing short of HIM. HE IS THE GOAL.  On the days I struggle to walk 4 steps without hitting my knees in desperate prayers for Him to move mountains, HE HEARS.  And on the days I am able to go through the day with full confidence and hope, HE SEES.  For all the days in between HE CARES.  And, I know He will answer.  As I have studied and leaned into what He wants to teach me in these days, I continue to be drawn into "His ultimate glory, our ultimate good."  That boy won't walk through the doors of this home with his family until it is the time God will receive the most glory and it will be for our ultimate good.  NOT ONE DAY SOONER.  

That truth eases the hurt of a broken heart, but it doesn't' numb it.  This road is hard, long, and most assuredly not the road we expected.  If tomorrow comes and goes with no positive recommendation letter, we know the earliest we will be able to travel is October (and no guarantees then).  That will be  just 3 weeks shy of us waiting for this final document for one year.  One month from the six year mark of starting this adoption.  But, He hasn't left us alone for one millisecond of it.  We know He is asking us to do what we can do with the resources He has given us so that we are positioned for Him to do what only He can do to get the most glory.  Tonight, I am praying for the sun to stand still.  For Him to grant us more daylight and for the miracle to come in whatever form He chooses to send it so that all eyes are on Him.  This is HIS story and we are grateful He has chosen to write us in.  

We are forever grateful for your prayers over our family in these days.  We are also grateful for your prayers over Tyson.  I so wish I could post a picture of his RIDICULOUSLY cute face for you to see and pray over.  This fight isn't in vain and the enemy isn't anyone in any government or agency.  There is one enemy and this process has his name all over it.  He has come to steal, kill, and destroy.  But, the Lord has told us to march on, look the enemy in the face, and remind him that GOD HAS GIVEN US VICTORY OVER him AND WE AREN'T AFRAID.  

I will update as my heart allows.  forever indebted to you for the time you have spend in prayer on behalf of our family.  we love you.

until he's home....

two steps forward, one step back

Welp. I didn't expect to have an update so quickly. Turns out Mark did a conference call Monday with our agency where we found out that Federal MOWCA DID review our case last week.... One step forward. BUT, our expert (who reviewed our case) requested ANOTHER piece of documentation that, in the words of our agency, "they've never requested before." Two steps backwards. Y'all. Doesn't this sound like a tragic comedy? I've learned there are parts of it you have to laugh about to keep from crying about. We do both. 

We knew this little guy was one-of-a-kind. His process is just confirming it.

This new documentation that is being requested must come from regional MOWCA (in Addis Ababa). We received regional approval in November 2015 from Addis MOWCA because Tyson is currently living in Addis. However, he was born in southern Ethiopia (a different region). Typically when kids are transferred from one region to another, how our agency did the paperwork is how it is supposed to be done. However, this particular expert wants Addis MOWCA to give more clarity about why they issued the regional approval rather than Tyson's birth region (which I'm not disclosing on purpose). There is documentation in our paperwork that lends toward these answers, but with the current guideline & staff changes, we believe our expert was just trying to be hyper vigilant. 

  

It is important to note this new regional MOWCA tends to be a bit slow (might be an under statement😁).  But, we have full confidence in our agency that they are doing everything to get this matter taken care of as quickly as possible. Once we get this new document, our case will go back to our expert in Federal MOWCA, and then we will have to wait (again) for that one last recommendation letter. 

Thank you for continuing to pray for this new explanation for the expert and for that final (positive) recommendation letter. I'll keep you posted....

Until he's home.

patience with joy......

First off, I didn't title this "patience with joy" because that is something I've mastered or am even having. I'll get to that in a little bit. This is, perhaps, one of the hardest posts for me to sit and type. The reasons are many, but not the least of which is that I had hoped (& planned) for the next post to be "we are traveling!" This post happens to be the farthest thing from that. Are we still just waiting on one paper? Yes... But, that one paper is from the federal Ministry of Women's and Children's Affairs (MOWCA). This particular agency is, as I noted in my previous post, an Ethiopian government entity, much like our State Department. This office conducts far more business than "just" adoptions. What we are waiting on is positive recommendation letter from this office, thus giving us permission to travel and finalize our adoption. As most of you know, our first federal court date (for birth family) was October 27th, 2015. This letter of recommendation comes as a result of that court date, after an expert has reviewed all necessary paperwork & investigations. Originally we were told the estimated time to get this letter was 4-6 weeks. We have had two "hearing dates" to pick it up (both were in December), but our letter "wasn't ready" either time. This isn't an unusual scenario. Later we were told letters could take 8-12 weeks. This past Tuesday marked week 19. We have known FMOWCA had not written any recommendation letters (for anyone with any agency) the previous two weeks. We had hoped this week they would. However, word "on the street" in Ethiopia (not from our agency, but a few other agencies have also reported) that MOWCA "reshuffled" (or restructured) officers in their office. This means that the head minister, who is required to sign to our letter, has likely lost her job and someone will be replacing her. This also means (again... Word on the street) that everyone will need training (which is expected to take months) before any more letters are given.

Sigh.

God can do anything and He may choose to perform a miracle and have letters signed tomorrow.                He is totally capable of that. I will just say that yesterday was, for me, single-handedly the hardest day of  these 51/2 years. To be so close... But so far.  After discussing things over with Mark we decided to unpack our suitcases.... The hardest thing I think I've ever had to do. As I took clothes out, I found I had to audibly say, "I delight to do Your will [psalm 40:8]." I said it with tears streaming down my cheeks. I am so thankful for my dear friend, Nina, who came over and helped me put Regan's clothes away. I knew (& she knew) this wouldn't be an easy task. We didn't unpack because we've lost hope or faith, but rather because it's hard to walk by 9 packed suitcases in our bedroom everyday. The reality is, everyone (including our agency) thought we would travel in mid-January. So, having them packed wasn't presumptuous on our part. However, I'm learning (the hard way) that waiting on papers, people, agency, or timelines is NOT the same as waiting on Him.          
   

Surrender is hard.


Before unpacking yesterday, I came home from having coffee with a friend and had a big, ugly cry on my bed with my head buried in the mattress. It was a cry of surrender. A cry to say, "God, I want to want You more than this paper. More than I want him home." A cry to say, "I surrender my plans and expectations to Your plans and expectations." A cry to raise my arms up and confess, "I can't do this one more day without Your help." A cry to confess that I haven't always trusted His way or His timing.

Surrender is hard.

Brycen has been learning about Gideon in school and our conversations prompted me to go downstairs and grab my "Gideon" bible study (so good! Written by Priscilla Shirer). As I walked down the steps my mind was recollecting what God had seared into my heart a couple years ago during that study: God will strip us of every human way to succeed to force us to trust Him to come
through. When we are stripped of our resources, our hope, or own abilities, we are forced to rely on His resources, His hope, His abilities. Being stripped down to nothing isn't easy. Or fun. But, it is often necessary.

Without knowing what news we had just received, one of my friends (a fellow adoptive mom) texted me that she was praying for me and she had come across Colossians 1:11 in her studying yesterday:
"We are praying, too, that you might be filled with His mighty, glorious strength so that you can keep going no matter what happens-always full of the joy of the Lord" (Living Letters Life application Bible translation)

That was salve to my hurting, open, hemorrhaging wound. I couldn't wait to come home and study it more. I opened my NLT and found it like this:


"May you be strengthened with all power, according to His glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy."

Patience with joy.

It almost sounds like an oxymoron... Patience with joy?

And it IS ludicrous in our flesh. As I prayed and confessed yesterday, I surrendered this process to Him again fresh & new, I have repeated this over & over again, "patience with joy." I'm still not able to talk about it without tears, but my heart is at peace that only God can change this. I'm trusting He is fighting for us (& for Tyson) based on the truths of Exodus 14:14. There is no more "doing" we can do. We've been asked to just "be still." We are still praying and contacting the resources we feel God wants us to, but our hope & trust is in Him alone.

Fortunately, Tyson doesn't know about us yet, but we were able to get him an English tutor and he started that this week. Please pray for protection around him and for his physical needs to be met. Ethiopia is facing their country's worst drought in its history. We believe he is well taken care of in his orphanage and that he is well fed. Please pray for these provisions to remain for all the children impacted by these continuing delays.

My heart is broken, but my heart is trusting.

Thank you for walking with us

Until he's home....

One Paper... Why So Long to Wait?

Yes, it's true: we are one document away from having travel dates to meet, get to know, & bring home our son. Human words could never express our sincere gratitude for how everyone is praying for & encouraging us. I just stood with a family after church yesterday asking about it all. As they stood with me, I explained what we knew. There stood a friend who let a tear fall on her cheek saying, "you're just so close!" It was so tender to me because WE ARE (so close).
So, I thought I would answer the questions here about why it's taking so long & when will the paper ever come?! After our first court date (which is birth family court and happened on October 27th), our dossier and all supporting documents the government requires, went to the MOWCA office (Ministry of Women's and Children's Affairs). This office is a government entity (for comparison's purposes, much like our U.S. state Department). Once our documents arrive there, our case is assigned to an expert. There are numerous "experts" at the office, therefore, depending on whose desk our documents hit can determine how quickly its reviewed. During the "investigation" by the expert, they will make sure all the required documents are present, signed by all necessary people, that investigations into the case by both the U.S. Government & the Ethiopian government are adequate investigations and no other papers or interviews are needed. Once the expert is confident our file is complete, he/she will have a letter of recommendation written. Once that letter is written it goes to the Head Minister who then has to sign off on it. As you can see, there are many moving parts and places for delays. So, it's one final paper, but it can take while. Originally, at the time of that first court date in October, the average turn around time for this document was 4-6 weeks. However, elections in Ethiopia brought in new government leaders in this office and that slowed down the process as transition, learning the process, and creating new guidelines have come into play.
All of this to say, we have no idea where in that process our file is... On an experts desk, on the head minister's desk, currently under review, etc. Therefore, we have no idea when it will come. It could be available tomorrow or we might still be waiting in three months.
Thank you for continuing to support us with prayer and encouragement. We will keep you updated when it comes! We sure do love you.
Until he's home.....