Our weekend was life-changing.
We were thrilled to open our home for three nights to two girls from Children of the World Choir who were participating in our Christmas program at church. Brenda is 9 (from Uganda) and Irene who is 11 (from Philippines) fit right into our family! Having them around here for 3 days was not only amazing fun it was also incredibly humbling. Though we don't know their exact histories/stories we do know they come from severely disadvantaged families or they are orphaned. Children of the World invites children from around the world who are in these situations and who have a sponsor (through World Help or Samaritan's Purse) to travel world wide for 10 months while educating them, teaching them English, and providing them with opportunities to go back to their homes after the tour and impact their people with hope, opportunity, and Jesus. The testimonies from former choir members are so encouraging. Anyway... as we arrived home with our new "sisters" Friday they were initially quiet and reserved. That was short-lived. Regan and Irene quickly settled into watching High School Musical while Brycen and Mark went to basketball practice. Brenda wasn't much on sitting still and being quiet so she came upstairs with me and snuggled up beside me asking me at least a million questions. Then, she jumped up and said, " I will sing for you." I was all for that!!! So song after song, dance move after dance move she stole my heart. But, the one song that stuck out to me was one she sang with the most enthusiasm. She smiled big and sang through her smile while dancing, "Nothin's gonna hold me down, no. Nothin's gonna hold me down." Then she shifted and started dancing to the other side and sang louder,
"Nothin's gonna mute my praise, No! Nothin's gonna mute my praise!"
I sat watching her with tears streaming down my face. In all the Christmas hype and Christmas programs, in all the shopping and parties, end of the semester "things," and in all of the schedule juggling, the waiting grows more difficult with every passing day. I was just reading over blog posts of mine from a year ago, thinking our sweet girl would be home this Christmas. Now, I am realizing she might be home just in time for Christmas NEXT year. We are all learning to trust God's timing in new, real, hard ways. We are growing in our faith and depending more and more on HIm and less and less on statistics, averages, and phone calls. In all of that growing, I have a new motto:
"Nothin's gonna mute my praise! No! Nothin's gonna mute my praise!"
There was something so special about having Brenda and Irene here... it was as if they represented tangible confirmation that God is working with each of us individually in the waiting. Nothing compared to unloading everyone out of the car during the weekend and watching Corbin stand, hand in the air, waiting for Brenda to "unload" so he could hold her hand until we got where we were going. I also loved seeing Brycen serve the girls every night at dinner, making sure they had all they needed and enjoying getting them whatever they needed. Regan especially loved sharing her room with Brenda and Irene! One night while the girls were here Regan and I were chatting and she said, "Just think, Mom, one day, this will be real. My sister won't have to leave."
"Nothin's gonna mute my praise! No! Nothin's gonna mute my praise!"
As we approach Christmas we are continuing to focus on celebrating the birth of our Savior. Knowing without His birth none of us could've been adopted as sons and daughters of The King of Kings. We would still be without an inheritance, without hope, without HIm. Though we are celebrating with one child still away from home, we are celebrating nonetheless. Lakin has gifts, just like the other children, and we are all eager to share them with her when she comes home! In the meantime, we want to wish you and your family a very Merry Christmas. As we focus on the birth of Jesus, we are praying God's best for you and we are grateful for your prayers for our family. In celebration of His coming down to us, His making a way for our redemption, and His willingness to come lowly,
"Nothin's gonna mute my praise! No! Nothin's gonna mute my praise!"
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Friday, November 11, 2011
my Day Planner
According to my day planner we turned in our formal adoption application January 20, 2011. It included a mound of paperwork that had been preceded by a preliminary application. I flip through the black, worn planner only a few pages and come to March 10, 2011, the day we were told adoptions in Ethiopia would decrease by 90%. Two weeks later, on March 24, we started our home study and completed it only 4 days later. Our home study was officially completed and ready for us to pick up on April 20, marking the first day we could apply for grants and mail immigration paperwork. We did both that very day. April 30 we held our fist ever adoption yard sale and three weeks later we went for our USCIS (immigration services) fingerprinting on May 17. We enjoyed a week in Disney at the first of June and came home anxious to receive our USCIS approval. Our wait was short as it arrived on June 16. The USCIS approval was the final paperwork needed to complete our dossier. So June 17th I was running around crazy getting every form county sealed after confirming all were correctly notarized. We enjoyed Father's Day weekend and hit the road early Monday morning, June 20 for Nashville where we had our dossier state authenticated. Early the next morning I took our completed dossier (and a bajillion copies I had stayed up late making and organizing) to our social worker at our local Bethany office. She then sent our dossier over night to the Bethany Christian Services headquarters in Grand Rapids, Michigan.
Our part was over for a while. A long while.
We received an email August 2 stating our dossier had been translated and registered in Ethiopia. The wait continued. In my heart we have been waiting years, but only 4 1/2 months (since June 20 when I dropped off our dossier) according to
my day planner.
Fast forward through those 4+ months to yesterday. I sent an email to the coordinator for referrals in Grand Rapids simply introducing myself and our family, as we had learned we would be dealing with her directly from here on out. I just wanted to know how referrals were coming along for others and if, indeed, the average wait time was still 3-6 mo to receive a referral. The response wasn't what we wanted to hear, but we understand the reasoning. The wait time has increased from 3-6 mo to 6 mo-12 mo. This wait time begins when our dossier is translated and registered in Ethiopia, August 2. So, we (technically) have only been waiting just over 3 months in what will likely be a 6-12 month wait to see the face of our sweet Lakin. The reason for the delay is simply that more investigations are needed for each case prior to a referral (a match) being given to ensure the child really meets the definition of "an orphan." This part wasn't in
my day planner.
Then, I stop and pray. I can calculate, figure, read blogs and yahoo groups, speculate, and presume all day long and drive myself crazy or I can remember I have a different
Day Planner.
He is Day Inventor. Day Giver. Day Sustainer. Day Changer. Day Maker. Day Planner. He has reminded me at least a million times recently in my study of Esther, how precise are His ways. How precise is His time. And His timing. I know for sure that His time table supercedes all averages, delays, or legalities. He is the One who placed Esther in the palace over 5 years before she exposed Haman's plot to kill all the Jews. He placed her there in His timing, preparing her for His plan to be fulfilled in His way. It wasn't Esther. It was God. It wasn't her days plan. It was her
Day Planner.
Writing tonight with a heavy heart, I am still confidant in His will, His way, His love, His timing. The wait grows more difficult with each passing day, but our strength continues to be renewed as we wait for Him. I feel sure there will come a day I will pull out my black, worn
day planner
and stand amazed at the One who holds my every tear in a bottle,
my Day Planner.
Our part was over for a while. A long while.
We received an email August 2 stating our dossier had been translated and registered in Ethiopia. The wait continued. In my heart we have been waiting years, but only 4 1/2 months (since June 20 when I dropped off our dossier) according to
my day planner.
Fast forward through those 4+ months to yesterday. I sent an email to the coordinator for referrals in Grand Rapids simply introducing myself and our family, as we had learned we would be dealing with her directly from here on out. I just wanted to know how referrals were coming along for others and if, indeed, the average wait time was still 3-6 mo to receive a referral. The response wasn't what we wanted to hear, but we understand the reasoning. The wait time has increased from 3-6 mo to 6 mo-12 mo. This wait time begins when our dossier is translated and registered in Ethiopia, August 2. So, we (technically) have only been waiting just over 3 months in what will likely be a 6-12 month wait to see the face of our sweet Lakin. The reason for the delay is simply that more investigations are needed for each case prior to a referral (a match) being given to ensure the child really meets the definition of "an orphan." This part wasn't in
my day planner.
Then, I stop and pray. I can calculate, figure, read blogs and yahoo groups, speculate, and presume all day long and drive myself crazy or I can remember I have a different
Day Planner.
He is Day Inventor. Day Giver. Day Sustainer. Day Changer. Day Maker. Day Planner. He has reminded me at least a million times recently in my study of Esther, how precise are His ways. How precise is His time. And His timing. I know for sure that His time table supercedes all averages, delays, or legalities. He is the One who placed Esther in the palace over 5 years before she exposed Haman's plot to kill all the Jews. He placed her there in His timing, preparing her for His plan to be fulfilled in His way. It wasn't Esther. It was God. It wasn't her days plan. It was her
Day Planner.
Writing tonight with a heavy heart, I am still confidant in His will, His way, His love, His timing. The wait grows more difficult with each passing day, but our strength continues to be renewed as we wait for Him. I feel sure there will come a day I will pull out my black, worn
day planner
and stand amazed at the One who holds my every tear in a bottle,
my Day Planner.
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Our Shalom
Our Peace.
It's such a sweet, intentional gift offered for our taking from the One who IS peace. The waiting is growing wearisome with each passing day, but we are confident in God's timing. This week has been particularly difficult. With orphan Sunday this weekend we have both had our minds more consumed with orphans. One in particular. Mark and I spent one night talking through things we think about:
"Do you think she watches other children go with families and wonder if she will ever get a family?"
"I wonder nearly every day if today is her birthday and no one is celebrating her."
"Do you think she had one full meal today?"
"I wonder if she has been in the orphanage a long time and doesn't remember her biological family."
And the list goes on. There are more questions without answers than with answers, but in the waiting we are growing, trusting, and believing God's plan to be abundant. Even when it is really hard to be patient. Really, really hard. I was just sharing with a couple adopting a newborn how closely the adoption process mimics pregnancy emotionally (at least for me!). I am forgetful, clumsy, and nesting. It's the craziest thing ever. And then I remember that adoption is God's plan and He never overlooks even the smallest of details. So, of COURSE my emotions mimic pregnancy. In all of that, however, it becomes difficult on some days (some days more than others) to accept the peace God is offering in the process. There are days it would be easier to have a pity party, cry my eyes out, and curl up in a ball. OK, so maybe I HAVE chosen that route a time or two (or five), but then, I am reminded of the Peace. God didn't send Jesus in order for me to have pity parties, cry fests, and days curled up in bed. He came for freedom and to offer His children peace. I am being more intentional about accepting it. Though, it continues to be a daily battle.
In the meantime, I have been so grateful for a song newly introduced to me, "Our Shalom." One day after Bible study my friend, Jenny, told me she wanted me to hear a song. I listened to it on her phone and then went to watch the YouTube video later that night. I immediately downloaded it and hit repeat on my iPod. There are times I can listen and sing along. Other times I can't sing due to overwhelming gratitude for Him, our Shalom. Then other times I listen with tears streaming down my face when all I can do is mouth the words. I am praying it will be a blessing to you. It now serves as one of my all time favorites for personal worship. The song is written by James Tealy. As you listen, I am prayerful you, too, will find Him to be your Shalom.
Our Peace.
It's such a sweet, intentional gift offered for our taking from the One who IS peace. The waiting is growing wearisome with each passing day, but we are confident in God's timing. This week has been particularly difficult. With orphan Sunday this weekend we have both had our minds more consumed with orphans. One in particular. Mark and I spent one night talking through things we think about:
"Do you think she watches other children go with families and wonder if she will ever get a family?"
"I wonder nearly every day if today is her birthday and no one is celebrating her."
"Do you think she had one full meal today?"
"I wonder if she has been in the orphanage a long time and doesn't remember her biological family."
And the list goes on. There are more questions without answers than with answers, but in the waiting we are growing, trusting, and believing God's plan to be abundant. Even when it is really hard to be patient. Really, really hard. I was just sharing with a couple adopting a newborn how closely the adoption process mimics pregnancy emotionally (at least for me!). I am forgetful, clumsy, and nesting. It's the craziest thing ever. And then I remember that adoption is God's plan and He never overlooks even the smallest of details. So, of COURSE my emotions mimic pregnancy. In all of that, however, it becomes difficult on some days (some days more than others) to accept the peace God is offering in the process. There are days it would be easier to have a pity party, cry my eyes out, and curl up in a ball. OK, so maybe I HAVE chosen that route a time or two (or five), but then, I am reminded of the Peace. God didn't send Jesus in order for me to have pity parties, cry fests, and days curled up in bed. He came for freedom and to offer His children peace. I am being more intentional about accepting it. Though, it continues to be a daily battle.
In the meantime, I have been so grateful for a song newly introduced to me, "Our Shalom." One day after Bible study my friend, Jenny, told me she wanted me to hear a song. I listened to it on her phone and then went to watch the YouTube video later that night. I immediately downloaded it and hit repeat on my iPod. There are times I can listen and sing along. Other times I can't sing due to overwhelming gratitude for Him, our Shalom. Then other times I listen with tears streaming down my face when all I can do is mouth the words. I am praying it will be a blessing to you. It now serves as one of my all time favorites for personal worship. The song is written by James Tealy. As you listen, I am prayerful you, too, will find Him to be your Shalom.
Our Peace.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
A Found Treasure
We still wait.
Thank you for all your love, questions, prayers, texts, and messages about praying for us as we continue to wait for our referral. We are 4 months in to what is, on average, a 3-6 month wait to be "matched" with our daughter. So, we continue to wait. In the waiting, as I have written many other times, God remains faithful to encourage us on the days that are the hardest. Mark mentioned to me a few days ago that the perfect birthday gift would be getting our referral (his birthday is Saturday). Perhaps our talking about it made yesterday "one of those days." It was a day where every thought started and ended with her... our loved, missed, longed for daughter. Throughout the day I received several texts and messages from friends letting me know they were praying for us as we waited. Also throughout the day I was growing in frustration because Corbin repeatedly said, "I want to get bacon." like. seven .hundred. times. I finally had to explain for the millionth time that I wasn't making him bacon and I had no intentions of getting him bacon right then. It didn't stop his persistence. He kept on and on. And on. Finally after several hours of asking me for bacon he finally said, "I show you." So, I followed him to the empty chair around our dining room table, the one that no one sits in (yet) at our meals. He said, "I want BA-CON." Then it hit me. I got down on my knees in front of him and said, "Oh, baby, you want to get Lakin?" A huge smile and giggle came over his face and a sigh of relief came over my spirit. My sweet 3 year old hadn't been asking for bacon for 3 hours, he had been asking for his sweet sister. Just when I think he has no idea what is about to happen, God reminds me He is working behind the scenes preparing each of us in the wait.
Lakin.
We, of course, can't wait to know our daughter's name and see her face. When we have named all of our other children we have loved choosing a name with a significant meaning. And, as it turns out, we have something for names that end in "n." So, we have agreed all along that we will use our daughter's given Ethiopian name if at all possible. If, however, we feel like it would be too difficult, we will move her given name to her middle name. But, then what? Where do you start to name a child who already has a history, a story, wounds, and depth? We wanted to find a name of African decent and one that would also have symbolic meaning. As we began to research Amharic names we quickly realized that a feminine name ending in "n" is rare. We were starting to think we were searching for the impossible. Then, I came upon "Lakin." I had to reread the computer screen three times to make sure my eyes weren't deceiving me. Lakin is a feminine name with Amharic roots. The best part? It means "a found treasure." sigh. It is perfect for her. Our found treasure.
As we press on in this waiting journey we are so grateful to have each of you along for the ride with us. We will keep you updated on any new developments. In the meantime, we would be humbled by continued prayers for us and our Found Treasure.
Thank you for all your love, questions, prayers, texts, and messages about praying for us as we continue to wait for our referral. We are 4 months in to what is, on average, a 3-6 month wait to be "matched" with our daughter. So, we continue to wait. In the waiting, as I have written many other times, God remains faithful to encourage us on the days that are the hardest. Mark mentioned to me a few days ago that the perfect birthday gift would be getting our referral (his birthday is Saturday). Perhaps our talking about it made yesterday "one of those days." It was a day where every thought started and ended with her... our loved, missed, longed for daughter. Throughout the day I received several texts and messages from friends letting me know they were praying for us as we waited. Also throughout the day I was growing in frustration because Corbin repeatedly said, "I want to get bacon." like. seven .hundred. times. I finally had to explain for the millionth time that I wasn't making him bacon and I had no intentions of getting him bacon right then. It didn't stop his persistence. He kept on and on. And on. Finally after several hours of asking me for bacon he finally said, "I show you." So, I followed him to the empty chair around our dining room table, the one that no one sits in (yet) at our meals. He said, "I want BA-CON." Then it hit me. I got down on my knees in front of him and said, "Oh, baby, you want to get Lakin?" A huge smile and giggle came over his face and a sigh of relief came over my spirit. My sweet 3 year old hadn't been asking for bacon for 3 hours, he had been asking for his sweet sister. Just when I think he has no idea what is about to happen, God reminds me He is working behind the scenes preparing each of us in the wait.
Lakin.
We, of course, can't wait to know our daughter's name and see her face. When we have named all of our other children we have loved choosing a name with a significant meaning. And, as it turns out, we have something for names that end in "n." So, we have agreed all along that we will use our daughter's given Ethiopian name if at all possible. If, however, we feel like it would be too difficult, we will move her given name to her middle name. But, then what? Where do you start to name a child who already has a history, a story, wounds, and depth? We wanted to find a name of African decent and one that would also have symbolic meaning. As we began to research Amharic names we quickly realized that a feminine name ending in "n" is rare. We were starting to think we were searching for the impossible. Then, I came upon "Lakin." I had to reread the computer screen three times to make sure my eyes weren't deceiving me. Lakin is a feminine name with Amharic roots. The best part? It means "a found treasure." sigh. It is perfect for her. Our found treasure.
As we press on in this waiting journey we are so grateful to have each of you along for the ride with us. We will keep you updated on any new developments. In the meantime, we would be humbled by continued prayers for us and our Found Treasure.
Thursday, September 1, 2011
"He knows...."
Today marks 10 weeks our paperwork has been in Ethiopia. Every day is one day closer. At least that's what I keep telling myself to keep from growing anxious. We have busied ourselves with school starting back, Bible Study for stay-at-home-mom's gearing back up, and the routine that all those schedules require. It still grows difficult to sit and feel like we aren't DOING anything for our sweet girl. Then I am reminded that His plan is never idle, always at work to accomplish His purposes. And, DOING isn't always best. Being still is often better. Trust is often part of the purpose He wishes to accomplish. Just when I feel like no one except Mark and I (and our friends/family who have been there or are in this process now) understands what the wait is like I am reminded,
He knows.
We were able to get a new dining room table that seats 8! Our old table sat 6, but we wanted to be proactive in making her part of our family... moving forward in faith that she will be sitting with us soon. With every passing meal I look at that empty chair (we moved one chair away from the table to make more room) and remind myself it won't be empty forever. We often refer to that chair by her name (the name we are likely to give her if we use her Ethiopian name as her middle name). With meals it often feels like a double-edged sword. Not only is that chair empty, but the table often has meat, veggies, bread, etc on it... plenty to go around and more times than not with leftovers. Then it occurs to me that she is living with famine and with no table or seat to call her own. Just when I get overwhelmed by it all and think the world has forgotten I am reminded,
He knows.
Today Mark and I went to Regan's first-of-the-year parent/teacher conference. While there, we were chatting about Regan's academics and her goals for the year. The teacher commented on Regan's willingness to help others and her sweet spirit. Then she said the bible verse for the students to memorize this week is Psalm 139:16 "...All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." Ms. Bond (Regan's teacher) then said as the class discussed the verse through the week she asked them for examples about things God already knows. Some of the kids said things like, "He already knows what I am going to eat tomorrow" or "He already knows what reading part I am going to get tomorrow." And Regan interjected by saying, "He already knows when I will get my sister." Yes, sweetheart, He does. And I, for one, needed the reminder. It brings comfort to my longing heart to simply hear,
He knows.
He knows.
We were able to get a new dining room table that seats 8! Our old table sat 6, but we wanted to be proactive in making her part of our family... moving forward in faith that she will be sitting with us soon. With every passing meal I look at that empty chair (we moved one chair away from the table to make more room) and remind myself it won't be empty forever. We often refer to that chair by her name (the name we are likely to give her if we use her Ethiopian name as her middle name). With meals it often feels like a double-edged sword. Not only is that chair empty, but the table often has meat, veggies, bread, etc on it... plenty to go around and more times than not with leftovers. Then it occurs to me that she is living with famine and with no table or seat to call her own. Just when I get overwhelmed by it all and think the world has forgotten I am reminded,
He knows.
Today Mark and I went to Regan's first-of-the-year parent/teacher conference. While there, we were chatting about Regan's academics and her goals for the year. The teacher commented on Regan's willingness to help others and her sweet spirit. Then she said the bible verse for the students to memorize this week is Psalm 139:16 "...All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." Ms. Bond (Regan's teacher) then said as the class discussed the verse through the week she asked them for examples about things God already knows. Some of the kids said things like, "He already knows what I am going to eat tomorrow" or "He already knows what reading part I am going to get tomorrow." And Regan interjected by saying, "He already knows when I will get my sister." Yes, sweetheart, He does. And I, for one, needed the reminder. It brings comfort to my longing heart to simply hear,
He knows.
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Only One
Sigh.
With heavy-hearts we continue to wait. We knew the average wait time for a referral was 3-6 months after our dossier was submitted, but what we didn't expect was for the worst famine in history to hit during those months of waiting. The waiting is tough in the best of circumstances. In the worst of circumstances, I can see it wouldn't take long for it to become more than any human could bear. We are there... waiting. With so many suffering and watching their children and parents and friends and community die right before their eyes, it feels so overwhelming. Though my heart breaks and agonizes for those parents holding their children knowing they cannot protect them from this horror, I would be lying if I didn't say I am broken, longing, yearning, and literally aching for
only one.
This morning as I continued my study of David and read about his life on the run from King Saul (Saul was trying to kill David), Beth Moore pointed out the responses David had to his circumstances. First, he prayed and then he cried out (Psalm 142). Next, he complained only to God and rehearsed his trust in God. Lastly, he begged for God's presence and confessed his desperate need for God to intervene. Big sigh. And some people think the Word isn't alive and applicable. I am so grateful today for this tangible reminder to me of my need for God to intervene and for my need to cry out. Praying is one thing. Crying out... that's altogether different. So, today I find myself on bended knee with laundry all around in the laundry room floor.... Crying out on behalf of our daughter. In the midst of millions who are dying and suffering I am praying for a supernatural release of the oppression from the famine as well as the oppression rebels are putting on the beautiful people of Somalia. I am praying God will open their spiritual eyes to the deception from the enemy and break their hearts to their deeds. I am also praying in the midst of it very specifically for
only one.
Together, Mark and I, are praying for a quick referral, one that comes sooner than average. We do, after all, serve the Mountain Mover, the One who does the impossible, the One who longs to hear our hearts cries. I believe Him when He says He came for the broken-hearted, to set the captives free. I trust He loves our daughter more than we do, knowing her since the beginning of time. I know He loves her more than we do, even when my heart wonders how. I know His grace is more than adequate to cover her needs and the needs of those in Ethiopia, Somalia, and all of East Africa. Just this past Sunday I had the privilege of teaching first graders about grace: our undeserved gift. One of the games we played we discussed how God doesn't love those who go to church more than those who don't, or older people more than younger people, or boys more than girls, etc. As I pondered that truth more and more I have seen how often our American culture lives as though God DOES love us more than the rest of the world. Conviction struck me to my core. As we seek ways to be His hands and feet to those suffering unlike any suffering we've ever known we cry out to
Only One.
I have been reminded in recent days about how our country mourned together ten years ago on September 11. Though the twin towers weren't in Tennessee and I didn't personally know anyone who died that day, my heart ached and I cried for our country and for those who lost so much. It felt personal. Today, I know all of Africa is hurting for their country, crying for those who have lost and continue to lose so much. As the rebels continue to invade and take over Somalia, taking all the relief being sent, I know the attack feels personal to them all. And today, it feels personal to me. I have a hurting daughter who is likely hungry today, alone with nothing to call her own, except her name. As our family prays for a quick referral and for protection over her health, spirit, and safety we rest in the promises, security, love, comfort, and Name of
Only One.
With heavy-hearts we continue to wait. We knew the average wait time for a referral was 3-6 months after our dossier was submitted, but what we didn't expect was for the worst famine in history to hit during those months of waiting. The waiting is tough in the best of circumstances. In the worst of circumstances, I can see it wouldn't take long for it to become more than any human could bear. We are there... waiting. With so many suffering and watching their children and parents and friends and community die right before their eyes, it feels so overwhelming. Though my heart breaks and agonizes for those parents holding their children knowing they cannot protect them from this horror, I would be lying if I didn't say I am broken, longing, yearning, and literally aching for
only one.
This morning as I continued my study of David and read about his life on the run from King Saul (Saul was trying to kill David), Beth Moore pointed out the responses David had to his circumstances. First, he prayed and then he cried out (Psalm 142). Next, he complained only to God and rehearsed his trust in God. Lastly, he begged for God's presence and confessed his desperate need for God to intervene. Big sigh. And some people think the Word isn't alive and applicable. I am so grateful today for this tangible reminder to me of my need for God to intervene and for my need to cry out. Praying is one thing. Crying out... that's altogether different. So, today I find myself on bended knee with laundry all around in the laundry room floor.... Crying out on behalf of our daughter. In the midst of millions who are dying and suffering I am praying for a supernatural release of the oppression from the famine as well as the oppression rebels are putting on the beautiful people of Somalia. I am praying God will open their spiritual eyes to the deception from the enemy and break their hearts to their deeds. I am also praying in the midst of it very specifically for
only one.
Together, Mark and I, are praying for a quick referral, one that comes sooner than average. We do, after all, serve the Mountain Mover, the One who does the impossible, the One who longs to hear our hearts cries. I believe Him when He says He came for the broken-hearted, to set the captives free. I trust He loves our daughter more than we do, knowing her since the beginning of time. I know He loves her more than we do, even when my heart wonders how. I know His grace is more than adequate to cover her needs and the needs of those in Ethiopia, Somalia, and all of East Africa. Just this past Sunday I had the privilege of teaching first graders about grace: our undeserved gift. One of the games we played we discussed how God doesn't love those who go to church more than those who don't, or older people more than younger people, or boys more than girls, etc. As I pondered that truth more and more I have seen how often our American culture lives as though God DOES love us more than the rest of the world. Conviction struck me to my core. As we seek ways to be His hands and feet to those suffering unlike any suffering we've ever known we cry out to
Only One.
I have been reminded in recent days about how our country mourned together ten years ago on September 11. Though the twin towers weren't in Tennessee and I didn't personally know anyone who died that day, my heart ached and I cried for our country and for those who lost so much. It felt personal. Today, I know all of Africa is hurting for their country, crying for those who have lost and continue to lose so much. As the rebels continue to invade and take over Somalia, taking all the relief being sent, I know the attack feels personal to them all. And today, it feels personal to me. I have a hurting daughter who is likely hungry today, alone with nothing to call her own, except her name. As our family prays for a quick referral and for protection over her health, spirit, and safety we rest in the promises, security, love, comfort, and Name of
Only One.
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Because He first loved us
Along the adoption journey we have been asked, and have asked ourselves, many questions. One of the most recent questions is, "what next? and When?" Of course the dates are unsure and the timeline varies, but I never hear the question without thinking about Christ. As imitators of Him, we have chosen to adopt, confidant that at the end of our pursuing, longing, waiting, praying, sacrificing, there will be a little girl in our arms trusting us to be her forever family. When I consider Ephesians 1: 3-6 it stops me in my tracks. It reads:
"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ, just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love, having predestined us to adoption as sons of Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the good pleasure of His will, to the praise of the glory of His grace, by which He made us accepted in the Beloved."
or Romans 5:6-8
"For when we were still without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly. For scarcely for a righteous man will one die; yet perhaps for a good man someone would even dare to die. But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners Christ died for us."
Jesus came, lived perfectly, and died in order that we could be adopted into God's family. And He did it with no guarantee we would love Him back or accept His sacrifice. "While we were still sinners...." Giving us freewill, He chose to let our acceptance of Him be our choice. Yes, He is sovereign, but He is also just. So, He pursued, fought for, loved us, and paid the ultimate price with no guarantee "When?" would ever come. We are hopeful and expectant that we will get a phone call informing us of who our daughter is, her age, her name, etc God set our adoption into motion and met every requirement and then waited (and continues to wait for those who don't know Him)..... The mere thought that He longed for me like I long for our daughter makes me love Him in a fresh new way. His heart for the fatherless never gets old. The truth of the matter is, as I continue to study covenants in scripture, the bottom line is this: Our relationship with Him has nothing to do with us. It's only possible
because He first loved us.
So, when I began thinking about some of the questions that raised in my own spirit, I realized there are probably lots of questions (many of them we have been asked) people have that they don't want to ask. So, I thought I would address the most common ones just to let you know our hearts on the matter.
First, Why? especially given you already have four healthy, happy kids?
Good question :) There are lots of reasons, but I will attempt to narrow them down. To start, we can pick and choose passages in scripture that make us feel good and that lend themselves to our comfort. But, to accept those, we must also look at the ones that our hard. The ones that push us past what we thought we were capable of. The ones that call us to live like Christ in the way we seek justice for the injustice of the world. The way we love the "least of these," the way we live out His view of pure and genuine religion as defined by James 1:27. We really sought His heart on what these matters meant to us and to our family. The fact that orphans and their care are important to God forced us to look at our care for the orphan. We had discussed adoption from the beginning of our marriage, but were never sure of the timing. When I returned home from Ethiopia having seen so many orphans, held them, knowing their names, I came home changed. It felt selfish and arrogant to come back "empty-handed." I quickly asked Mark, "Why are we not doing something about this already?" One of my favorite answers to this question I got from a book called "Orphanology." A man called his sister while he and his wife were in the Dominican Republic to adopt. They had just been shown the photo of a sibling group of 4 (they went to adopt 2). He and his wife felt drawn to the larger sibling group and he wanted his sister's input. She said, "To answer the question are you crazy....yes, you are. But so was God to send His Son. So was God to forgive us, to adopt us. So was Jesus to be murdered and homeless and penniless... by living out a reckless faith, you are more like Christ than ever before... " So, the best answer to the question, "Why?" is really the only answer that matters: because He called us to this task.
The next most common question is "that's a lot of money. It's just SO expensive, I don't know if I could justify it."
Yes, it is expensive. On the one hand. When we stop to consider the other side of that coin we find in our society people who pay the equivalent amount of money for a car they are only going to drive 5 years or less. They sign papers and finance $35,000 for something with depreciating value. Often it might even be two cars totaling that cost. Either way, we can seem to justify the money when it lends to our comfort or appearance. When the same amount calls us to inconvenience or uncertainty, we tend to think it's "too much." One of the things Mark and I have talked through is the fact that God never intended for orphans to be cared for by the state or government. Orphans have always been the call of the church. So, the fact that we have to pay such large sums now isn't a matter of who is pocketing the money or even where it is going. The fact is, we have to pay those prices to get the paperwork done because we are paying the price for the church missing their call. Lastly, I even thought through the fact that we could probably impact a lot more people for the price of adoption and travel. And then the Holy Spirit intervened and said, "slow down, Carrie.. think about what you are saying..." When we consider the people we are impacting from the agency workers, to those working at our bank, in our police department (background checks), in our local, state, and federal governments, at FedEx Office (a million copies!), UPS, Walgreens, passport office, airport personnel, flight attendants, restaurant workers, van drivers in Ethiopia, guest home personnel, judges and court personnel in Ethiopia, our own family, friends, those we will be able to start conversations with after she arrives home about adoption and our adoption in Christ, as well as her biological family, should we meet them. Wow. It doesn't sound like a large sum at all when you consider the number of people we have the opportunity to encounter in Jesus' name. The simple thought that we have the privilege to take a child with a broken past, full of grief and change her family tree forever is humbling. A life of hurt, possible abuse, poverty, and loss can come to a place of healing. That is after all, adoption. It is amazing that in the process of healing, offering unconditional love, safety, and security we are also placing her in a position to hear the gospel and respond to it. That's the bottom line. And, in His likeness, choosing to see the plight of the fatherless and say, "At all cost we will make a way for them."
Finally, another common question is "Why Ethiopia?"
Another great question and one whose answer wasn't clear cut for us. We began our adoption journey looking at several places: Guatemala, Nicaragua, domestic adoption from US, Ethiopia. Those were at the top of our list for one reason: we wanted to adopt from a place we would revisit regularly and where we would be investing in a ministry. When we sat down and looked, after asking for clear direction, God closed the door to Guatemala because it is closed for adoption at the time. Nicaragua requires an 18 month residence to adopt internationally and clearly we can't live there for 18 months! So then we looked at Ethiopia and the US. The fact is, domestic adoption tends to be a little less expensive and for some, a bit more appealing. In the US adoptive parents often know more about a child, his/her past, and his/her birth family info. With international adoption you know very little (especially in Ethiopia as a general rule) and there is no guarantee what you "know" is accurate. We also thought about the fact that in America orphans still have the opportunity to eat and to get an education. So, we felt like God was calling us to adopt internationally. We recognize there are orphans in America and we have been and continue to be active in helping families adopting these children. Scripturally, God never specifies about WHAT orphans to care for, but simply that we care for them. Mark and I still often talk about if/when we will adopt again and from where. We would love to see our family, as well as our church family, resemble heaven with "every nation, tribe, and tongue." Clearly, having a niece and nephew who were born in Ethiopia will aide in having others who understand living in a transracial family and having others who relate to the struggles adoption can bring. This wasn't our reason for choosing Ethiopia, but it certainly was used as confirmation once God led us there. Another confirmation for us was the fact that our church has funded and continues to fund wells in Ethiopia, a ministry we plan to follow-up on regularly. The big question for us isn't "Why Ethiopia when we have so many orphans here?" The big question is, "What am I doing for an orphan?" We are so blessed to have gotten to know this country more and to learn more about the culture. It has been such a joy for our family.
Thank you for praying with us and for us. As we wait for the call to come (and it could come any day now!) about our daughter, we are praying for God to prepare us in the mean time for the challenges and unique struggles adoption can bring as well as the joy and laughter that will come in the coming days of transition. When I ponder questions regarding adoption I am always led back to one common answer, the only one that makes sense stacked up against all the "Why's?" :
Because He first loved us.
"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ, just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love, having predestined us to adoption as sons of Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the good pleasure of His will, to the praise of the glory of His grace, by which He made us accepted in the Beloved."
or Romans 5:6-8
"For when we were still without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly. For scarcely for a righteous man will one die; yet perhaps for a good man someone would even dare to die. But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners Christ died for us."
Jesus came, lived perfectly, and died in order that we could be adopted into God's family. And He did it with no guarantee we would love Him back or accept His sacrifice. "While we were still sinners...." Giving us freewill, He chose to let our acceptance of Him be our choice. Yes, He is sovereign, but He is also just. So, He pursued, fought for, loved us, and paid the ultimate price with no guarantee "When?" would ever come. We are hopeful and expectant that we will get a phone call informing us of who our daughter is, her age, her name, etc God set our adoption into motion and met every requirement and then waited (and continues to wait for those who don't know Him)..... The mere thought that He longed for me like I long for our daughter makes me love Him in a fresh new way. His heart for the fatherless never gets old. The truth of the matter is, as I continue to study covenants in scripture, the bottom line is this: Our relationship with Him has nothing to do with us. It's only possible
because He first loved us.
So, when I began thinking about some of the questions that raised in my own spirit, I realized there are probably lots of questions (many of them we have been asked) people have that they don't want to ask. So, I thought I would address the most common ones just to let you know our hearts on the matter.
First, Why? especially given you already have four healthy, happy kids?
Good question :) There are lots of reasons, but I will attempt to narrow them down. To start, we can pick and choose passages in scripture that make us feel good and that lend themselves to our comfort. But, to accept those, we must also look at the ones that our hard. The ones that push us past what we thought we were capable of. The ones that call us to live like Christ in the way we seek justice for the injustice of the world. The way we love the "least of these," the way we live out His view of pure and genuine religion as defined by James 1:27. We really sought His heart on what these matters meant to us and to our family. The fact that orphans and their care are important to God forced us to look at our care for the orphan. We had discussed adoption from the beginning of our marriage, but were never sure of the timing. When I returned home from Ethiopia having seen so many orphans, held them, knowing their names, I came home changed. It felt selfish and arrogant to come back "empty-handed." I quickly asked Mark, "Why are we not doing something about this already?" One of my favorite answers to this question I got from a book called "Orphanology." A man called his sister while he and his wife were in the Dominican Republic to adopt. They had just been shown the photo of a sibling group of 4 (they went to adopt 2). He and his wife felt drawn to the larger sibling group and he wanted his sister's input. She said, "To answer the question are you crazy....yes, you are. But so was God to send His Son. So was God to forgive us, to adopt us. So was Jesus to be murdered and homeless and penniless... by living out a reckless faith, you are more like Christ than ever before... " So, the best answer to the question, "Why?" is really the only answer that matters: because He called us to this task.
The next most common question is "that's a lot of money. It's just SO expensive, I don't know if I could justify it."
Yes, it is expensive. On the one hand. When we stop to consider the other side of that coin we find in our society people who pay the equivalent amount of money for a car they are only going to drive 5 years or less. They sign papers and finance $35,000 for something with depreciating value. Often it might even be two cars totaling that cost. Either way, we can seem to justify the money when it lends to our comfort or appearance. When the same amount calls us to inconvenience or uncertainty, we tend to think it's "too much." One of the things Mark and I have talked through is the fact that God never intended for orphans to be cared for by the state or government. Orphans have always been the call of the church. So, the fact that we have to pay such large sums now isn't a matter of who is pocketing the money or even where it is going. The fact is, we have to pay those prices to get the paperwork done because we are paying the price for the church missing their call. Lastly, I even thought through the fact that we could probably impact a lot more people for the price of adoption and travel. And then the Holy Spirit intervened and said, "slow down, Carrie.. think about what you are saying..." When we consider the people we are impacting from the agency workers, to those working at our bank, in our police department (background checks), in our local, state, and federal governments, at FedEx Office (a million copies!), UPS, Walgreens, passport office, airport personnel, flight attendants, restaurant workers, van drivers in Ethiopia, guest home personnel, judges and court personnel in Ethiopia, our own family, friends, those we will be able to start conversations with after she arrives home about adoption and our adoption in Christ, as well as her biological family, should we meet them. Wow. It doesn't sound like a large sum at all when you consider the number of people we have the opportunity to encounter in Jesus' name. The simple thought that we have the privilege to take a child with a broken past, full of grief and change her family tree forever is humbling. A life of hurt, possible abuse, poverty, and loss can come to a place of healing. That is after all, adoption. It is amazing that in the process of healing, offering unconditional love, safety, and security we are also placing her in a position to hear the gospel and respond to it. That's the bottom line. And, in His likeness, choosing to see the plight of the fatherless and say, "At all cost we will make a way for them."
Finally, another common question is "Why Ethiopia?"
Another great question and one whose answer wasn't clear cut for us. We began our adoption journey looking at several places: Guatemala, Nicaragua, domestic adoption from US, Ethiopia. Those were at the top of our list for one reason: we wanted to adopt from a place we would revisit regularly and where we would be investing in a ministry. When we sat down and looked, after asking for clear direction, God closed the door to Guatemala because it is closed for adoption at the time. Nicaragua requires an 18 month residence to adopt internationally and clearly we can't live there for 18 months! So then we looked at Ethiopia and the US. The fact is, domestic adoption tends to be a little less expensive and for some, a bit more appealing. In the US adoptive parents often know more about a child, his/her past, and his/her birth family info. With international adoption you know very little (especially in Ethiopia as a general rule) and there is no guarantee what you "know" is accurate. We also thought about the fact that in America orphans still have the opportunity to eat and to get an education. So, we felt like God was calling us to adopt internationally. We recognize there are orphans in America and we have been and continue to be active in helping families adopting these children. Scripturally, God never specifies about WHAT orphans to care for, but simply that we care for them. Mark and I still often talk about if/when we will adopt again and from where. We would love to see our family, as well as our church family, resemble heaven with "every nation, tribe, and tongue." Clearly, having a niece and nephew who were born in Ethiopia will aide in having others who understand living in a transracial family and having others who relate to the struggles adoption can bring. This wasn't our reason for choosing Ethiopia, but it certainly was used as confirmation once God led us there. Another confirmation for us was the fact that our church has funded and continues to fund wells in Ethiopia, a ministry we plan to follow-up on regularly. The big question for us isn't "Why Ethiopia when we have so many orphans here?" The big question is, "What am I doing for an orphan?" We are so blessed to have gotten to know this country more and to learn more about the culture. It has been such a joy for our family.
Thank you for praying with us and for us. As we wait for the call to come (and it could come any day now!) about our daughter, we are praying for God to prepare us in the mean time for the challenges and unique struggles adoption can bring as well as the joy and laughter that will come in the coming days of transition. When I ponder questions regarding adoption I am always led back to one common answer, the only one that makes sense stacked up against all the "Why's?" :
Because He first loved us.
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