Because He first loved us

Along the adoption journey we have been asked, and have asked ourselves, many questions. One of the most recent questions is, "what next? and When?" Of course the dates are unsure and the timeline varies, but I never hear the question without thinking about Christ. As imitators of Him, we have chosen to adopt, confidant that at the end of our pursuing, longing, waiting, praying, sacrificing, there will be a little girl in our arms trusting us to be her forever family. When I consider Ephesians 1: 3-6 it stops me in my tracks. It reads:

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ, just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love, having predestined us to adoption as sons of Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the good pleasure of His will, to the praise of the glory of His grace, by which He made us accepted in the Beloved."

or Romans 5:6-8

"For when we were still without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly. For scarcely for a righteous man will one die; yet perhaps for a good man someone would even dare to die. But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners Christ died for us."

Jesus came, lived perfectly, and died in order that we could be adopted into God's family. And He did it with no guarantee we would love Him back or accept His sacrifice. "While we were still sinners...." Giving us freewill, He chose to let our acceptance of Him be our choice. Yes, He is sovereign, but He is also just. So, He pursued, fought for, loved us, and paid the ultimate price with no guarantee "When?" would ever come. We are hopeful and expectant that we will get a phone call informing us of who our daughter is, her age, her name, etc God set our adoption into motion and met every requirement and then waited (and continues to wait for those who don't know Him)..... The mere thought that He longed for me like I long for our daughter makes me love Him in a fresh new way. His heart for the fatherless never gets old. The truth of the matter is, as I continue to study covenants in scripture, the bottom line is this: Our relationship with Him has nothing to do with us. It's only possible

because He first loved us.

So, when I began thinking about some of the questions that raised in my own spirit, I realized there are probably lots of questions (many of them we have been asked) people have that they don't want to ask. So, I thought I would address the most common ones just to let you know our hearts on the matter.
First, Why? especially given you already have four healthy, happy kids?
Good question :) There are lots of reasons, but I will attempt to narrow them down. To start, we can pick and choose passages in scripture that make us feel good and that lend themselves to our comfort. But, to accept those, we must also look at the ones that our hard. The ones that push us past what we thought we were capable of. The ones that call us to live like Christ in the way we seek justice for the injustice of the world. The way we love the "least of these," the way we live out His view of pure and genuine religion as defined by James 1:27. We really sought His heart on what these matters meant to us and to our family. The fact that orphans and their care are important to God forced us to look at our care for the orphan. We had discussed adoption from the beginning of our marriage, but were never sure of the timing. When I returned home from Ethiopia having seen so many orphans, held them, knowing their names, I came home changed. It felt selfish and arrogant to come back "empty-handed." I quickly asked Mark, "Why are we not doing something about this already?" One of my favorite answers to this question I got from a book called "Orphanology." A man called his sister while he and his wife were in the Dominican Republic to adopt. They had just been shown the photo of a sibling group of 4 (they went to adopt 2). He and his wife felt drawn to the larger sibling group and he wanted his sister's input. She said, "To answer the question are you crazy....yes, you are. But so was God to send His Son. So was God to forgive us, to adopt us. So was Jesus to be murdered and homeless and penniless... by living out a reckless faith, you are more like Christ than ever before... " So, the best answer to the question, "Why?" is really the only answer that matters: because He called us to this task.

The next most common question is "that's a lot of money. It's just SO expensive, I don't know if I could justify it."
Yes, it is expensive. On the one hand. When we stop to consider the other side of that coin we find in our society people who pay the equivalent amount of money for a car they are only going to drive 5 years or less. They sign papers and finance $35,000 for something with depreciating value. Often it might even be two cars totaling that cost. Either way, we can seem to justify the money when it lends to our comfort or appearance. When the same amount calls us to inconvenience or uncertainty, we tend to think it's "too much." One of the things Mark and I have talked through is the fact that God never intended for orphans to be cared for by the state or government. Orphans have always been the call of the church. So, the fact that we have to pay such large sums now isn't a matter of who is pocketing the money or even where it is going. The fact is, we have to pay those prices to get the paperwork done because we are paying the price for the church missing their call. Lastly, I even thought through the fact that we could probably impact a lot more people for the price of adoption and travel. And then the Holy Spirit intervened and said, "slow down, Carrie.. think about what you are saying..." When we consider the people we are impacting from the agency workers, to those working at our bank, in our police department (background checks), in our local, state, and federal governments, at FedEx Office (a million copies!), UPS, Walgreens, passport office, airport personnel, flight attendants, restaurant workers, van drivers in Ethiopia, guest home personnel, judges and court personnel in Ethiopia, our own family, friends, those we will be able to start conversations with after she arrives home about adoption and our adoption in Christ, as well as her biological family, should we meet them. Wow. It doesn't sound like a large sum at all when you consider the number of people we have the opportunity to encounter in Jesus' name. The simple thought that we have the privilege to take a child with a broken past, full of grief and change her family tree forever is humbling. A life of hurt, possible abuse, poverty, and loss can come to a place of healing. That is after all, adoption. It is amazing that in the process of healing, offering unconditional love, safety, and security we are also placing her in a position to hear the gospel and respond to it. That's the bottom line. And, in His likeness, choosing to see the plight of the fatherless and say, "At all cost we will make a way for them."

Finally, another common question is "Why Ethiopia?"
Another great question and one whose answer wasn't clear cut for us. We began our adoption journey looking at several places: Guatemala, Nicaragua, domestic adoption from US, Ethiopia. Those were at the top of our list for one reason: we wanted to adopt from a place we would revisit regularly and where we would be investing in a ministry. When we sat down and looked, after asking for clear direction, God closed the door to Guatemala because it is closed for adoption at the time. Nicaragua requires an 18 month residence to adopt internationally and clearly we can't live there for 18 months! So then we looked at Ethiopia and the US. The fact is, domestic adoption tends to be a little less expensive and for some, a bit more appealing. In the US adoptive parents often know more about a child, his/her past, and his/her birth family info. With international adoption you know very little (especially in Ethiopia as a general rule) and there is no guarantee what you "know" is accurate. We also thought about the fact that in America orphans still have the opportunity to eat and to get an education. So, we felt like God was calling us to adopt internationally. We recognize there are orphans in America and we have been and continue to be active in helping families adopting these children. Scripturally, God never specifies about WHAT orphans to care for, but simply that we care for them. Mark and I still often talk about if/when we will adopt again and from where. We would love to see our family, as well as our church family, resemble heaven with "every nation, tribe, and tongue." Clearly, having a niece and nephew who were born in Ethiopia will aide in having others who understand living in a transracial family and having others who relate to the struggles adoption can bring. This wasn't our reason for choosing Ethiopia, but it certainly was used as confirmation once God led us there. Another confirmation for us was the fact that our church has funded and continues to fund wells in Ethiopia, a ministry we plan to follow-up on regularly. The big question for us isn't "Why Ethiopia when we have so many orphans here?" The big question is, "What am I doing for an orphan?" We are so blessed to have gotten to know this country more and to learn more about the culture. It has been such a joy for our family.

Thank you for praying with us and for us. As we wait for the call to come (and it could come any day now!) about our daughter, we are praying for God to prepare us in the mean time for the challenges and unique struggles adoption can bring as well as the joy and laughter that will come in the coming days of transition. When I ponder questions regarding adoption I am always led back to one common answer, the only one that makes sense stacked up against all the "Why's?" :

Because He first loved us.