UPDATE:
IT CAME! IT CAME!!! IT CAME!!!!!!!!!!!! Our last and final form for our dossier arrived in the mail this morning so we spent the rest of the day running around crazy getting all of our paperwork just perfect. Tomorrow I will take it to the county clerk's office for county seals and then we will likely drive it to Nashville at the beginning of next week for state seals. After that it will go to our agency, who will then forward it to the US consulate for federal approval. Then it's OFF TO ETHIOPIA! The process from us taking it to our agency after the county and state seals to it arriving in Ethiopia for translation is around 3 weeks. Prayers for efficient, effective mail service, please! Grateful beyond words.
Original Post:
It has been a wild few weeks for us, so the blog needs some cobwebs to come down!
Our family has been battling viruses, infected bug bites (that ended up with staph & cellulitis), double ear infections, my biopsy site became infected 10 days post-procedure, strep throat, & high fevers. Wanna come over for dinner? Ahem, just kidding. Oh, wait, did I forget in the middle of it all we spent time at Disney (thanks to sweet friends who treated us to a place to stay!). We also made our trek to Nashville for fingerprinting on May 17. The following week I met with our agency & got the final list of paperwork needed to complete our dossier (the big batch of paperwork sent to Ethiopia). The only form we are waiting for is the form issued from immigration that can't be processed until our fingerprints are done. So, guess what I do everyday? Run to the mailbox with high hopes. So far, we continue to wait.
But, in the waiting.......
God continues to do a supernatural work in us. The week prior to our Disney trip was also our anniversary. So, we decided to get away for dinner. Sitter was found, reservations were made. There was only one problem: I cried most of the day. The way God wires us with emotions during the adoption process continues to astound me. On the one hand our daughter felt so close. On the other hand, she felt light years away. My heart was heavy and sad throughout the day. As the day went on I prayed, crying out for comfort for my grief so I could focus on 11 amazing years with my man! I pulled it together enough to get dressed & get the kids fed. However, we didn't make it far when I confessed to Mark that I had had a tough day thinking about our daughter. He chuckled & said, "That's just like God. I've thought about her all day, too." In that moment it occurred to me.... God did send comfort, but it was in the words & sympathy of my sweet husband. We talked through it, cried a little, & enjoyed a great anniversary date.
In the waiting......
God continually grabs my heart in scripture when I read about my rebellion against Him, yet He shows mercy, grace, & steadfast forgiveness towards me. In that, I'm reminded of my need for a Spiritual Father & a Savior. How blessed to know that both are found in the person of Jesus Christ. In my rebellion He chose to adopt me and make me His own. Just tonight Mark & I came across a song by Third Day that is about adoption (www.third day.com/adopted). A man who spoke at the beginning of the song spoke such truth that i was in tears over God's graciousness toward us. He said (& I am not quoting) that adoption had taught him that his adopted children are no different than his natural children to him. And we consider how that translates to our spiritual life, when God adopts us we are no different to Him than His very own son.
Unbelievable.
In the waiting......
I'm learning so much about grace. Packing for & going on vacation nearly killed me. I kept feeling like I was leaving someone out. Repeatedly I would have to remind myself that God's plan & timing are all perfectly calculated. In those minutes & hours of missing her I found God's grace to be sufficient. Without fail. Then, I laughed (though through tears sometimes) while we were gone and 3 of the 4 kids were sick that I was distracted from pondering it too much because I had 3 antibiotics, steroids, Motrin, Tylenol, cough syrup, antacids, and Phenergan to administer to 4 kids who were sick on vacation. In it all we had a great time and again, His grace kept me from bawling my eyes out on more than one occasion!
In the waiting.....
I am seeing God grow our kids into giants of faith! Brycen had to fill out a paper Sunday morning in his small group about a faith journey. One of his questions read, "What have you had to have faith in God for or what was happening in your life when He surprised you in a big way?" My eyes filled with tears immediately when I read his response in red magic marker this morning when I found it. He wrote, "God surprised me that I was getting a sister from Ethiopia!!" I don't think I give this process enough credit for what it's doing IN each of us individually as well as together. When we shared with the kids this week that we only lacked our travel money for the adoption Regan looked at me, like only she can, & said, "Oh good, Momma! That will be easy to get!" I laughed, knowing the cost in my mind (so does she!!) but also knowing she wouldn't have changed her answer even if she had a better grasp of how much money that really is. As we were leaving the Magic Kingdom the last night I said, "guess what? Next time we are here you all will have a new sister!" Later Regan said, "Momma, my sissy is gonna love Disney. And even if she doesn't it will be fun to show her." Yes, sweet pea, it will. I'm thinking about that day more and more....
In the waiting.
Monday, June 13, 2011
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Celebrating....
When I sit and consider all of the attributes of God that my finite mind can list, it becomes overwhelming at times. He is Sovereign, Gracious, Healing, Forgiving, Omnipresent, Omniscient, Serving, Loving, Providing, Securing, Saving, Giving.... Oh my, the list could go on until all the ink on the planet is used up. And then it occurs to me:
He is Kind.
In the list of all of God's attributes I, for one, often KNOW, yet rarely celebrate the simplicity of God's kindness. On the one hand simple on the other hand, however, so intricate and precise is His kindness. Only in HIm could it be so simple, yet so precise. He is, after all, the One who made Salvation so simple, yet so precise and intricate down to the last detail. I am celebrating His kindness today.
Over the course of the last six weeks our family has been on a roller coaster of emotions. We have been excited about finishing up our home study and pressing toward getting our letter from the USCIS (immigration) confirming we are in their system and ready for fingerprinting on the federal level. Both are huge steps in the adoption process. In those same six weeks I went to the doctor with new, one-sided breast pain that had been radiating into my armpit and down my arm. The enemy is so deceptive and timely. Then it occurs to me... again...
God is Kind.
After three physicians have seen me, two sets of mammograms, and an ultrasound, it was decided that the lump in my left breast (not the one that had been causing pain mind you) should be biopsied. All three physicians assured me that they suspected the lump to be benign, but why wonder when we could know for certain? Sounded reasonable to me. All the while we wait for the USCIS paperwork. I would run to the mailbox every day like a kid on Christmas morning. Nothing. Friday morning I woke eager to start the day well at field day with Brycen and Regan and then I would go for the biopsy. I woke with a supernatural peace, not anxious at all to face the day. When I came home after field day to pick up the little boys and Mark there it was. Homeland Security. The paper we had been waiting on from USCIS stating we were ready for fingerprinting. And then, 20 minutes before I left for the biopsy, with freshly opened mail, it hit me fresh and new...
He is so, so kind.
Of all the days, of all the times for that envelope to come, He chose now. From the beginning of time when He set the world in motion with all precision and creativity, when He was planning your beginning and ending as well as mine, He thought of this day in all of that and He showed me kindness. Could it be coincidence? Of course. However, the Holy Spirit won't let me believe that, because then I am not recognizing His personal love for me and the fatherless. In that moment, with the envelope opened on the counter it occurred to me (and I was later reminded by a dear friend), "Satan hates adoption." And in the middle of all the unknowns, God was so kind to remind me that He is working hard to accomplish His plan, no matter what life throws our way.
He is so kind.
When Mark and I looked at our calendars Friday we knew the first time we could go to Nashville for the fingerprinting would be today (Tuesday). Mark had some things on his calendar that couldn't be changed last minute and I (and my body) needed a down day. But, when I woke Monday morning to my phone ringing, my heart sank a bit. I thought, "Here goes..." when I saw the doctor's number on my phone. And then I heard that my biopsy was, indeed, benign. Praises. I find myself wondering how I would have responded had the outcome been different, because even then, He is kind. As I searched scripture I found Biblical evidence that even with different results, I could celebrate God's kindness. I love Titus 3:4-7 from the Message, " But when God, our kind and loving Savior God, stepped in, He saved us from all that. It was all His doing; we had nothing to do with it. He gave us a good bath, and we came out of it new people, washed inside and out by the Holy Spirit. Our Savior Jesus poured out new life so generously. God's gift has restored our relationship with Him and given us back our lives. And there's more life to come- an eternity of life!"
He is so kind.
When we can't celebrate what our life is handing us now, we can still celebrate Him. His kindness offers us an eternity of life.
So, as I type at 4:28am, unable to sleep because I woke and couldn't shake these thoughts, His thoughts for mankind, His ways of knowing so simply, yet precisely, what we need to be reminded of His presence in the midst of tough days, I am in awe of Him. Leaving in a few short hours for Nashville to make our daughter one step closer to being ours, I can't shake it. I can't shake Him. I am choosing to celebrate Him for so many reasons. But today I am focusing on one....
He is kind. So, so kind.
He is Kind.
In the list of all of God's attributes I, for one, often KNOW, yet rarely celebrate the simplicity of God's kindness. On the one hand simple on the other hand, however, so intricate and precise is His kindness. Only in HIm could it be so simple, yet so precise. He is, after all, the One who made Salvation so simple, yet so precise and intricate down to the last detail. I am celebrating His kindness today.
Over the course of the last six weeks our family has been on a roller coaster of emotions. We have been excited about finishing up our home study and pressing toward getting our letter from the USCIS (immigration) confirming we are in their system and ready for fingerprinting on the federal level. Both are huge steps in the adoption process. In those same six weeks I went to the doctor with new, one-sided breast pain that had been radiating into my armpit and down my arm. The enemy is so deceptive and timely. Then it occurs to me... again...
God is Kind.
After three physicians have seen me, two sets of mammograms, and an ultrasound, it was decided that the lump in my left breast (not the one that had been causing pain mind you) should be biopsied. All three physicians assured me that they suspected the lump to be benign, but why wonder when we could know for certain? Sounded reasonable to me. All the while we wait for the USCIS paperwork. I would run to the mailbox every day like a kid on Christmas morning. Nothing. Friday morning I woke eager to start the day well at field day with Brycen and Regan and then I would go for the biopsy. I woke with a supernatural peace, not anxious at all to face the day. When I came home after field day to pick up the little boys and Mark there it was. Homeland Security. The paper we had been waiting on from USCIS stating we were ready for fingerprinting. And then, 20 minutes before I left for the biopsy, with freshly opened mail, it hit me fresh and new...
He is so, so kind.
Of all the days, of all the times for that envelope to come, He chose now. From the beginning of time when He set the world in motion with all precision and creativity, when He was planning your beginning and ending as well as mine, He thought of this day in all of that and He showed me kindness. Could it be coincidence? Of course. However, the Holy Spirit won't let me believe that, because then I am not recognizing His personal love for me and the fatherless. In that moment, with the envelope opened on the counter it occurred to me (and I was later reminded by a dear friend), "Satan hates adoption." And in the middle of all the unknowns, God was so kind to remind me that He is working hard to accomplish His plan, no matter what life throws our way.
He is so kind.
When Mark and I looked at our calendars Friday we knew the first time we could go to Nashville for the fingerprinting would be today (Tuesday). Mark had some things on his calendar that couldn't be changed last minute and I (and my body) needed a down day. But, when I woke Monday morning to my phone ringing, my heart sank a bit. I thought, "Here goes..." when I saw the doctor's number on my phone. And then I heard that my biopsy was, indeed, benign. Praises. I find myself wondering how I would have responded had the outcome been different, because even then, He is kind. As I searched scripture I found Biblical evidence that even with different results, I could celebrate God's kindness. I love Titus 3:4-7 from the Message, " But when God, our kind and loving Savior God, stepped in, He saved us from all that. It was all His doing; we had nothing to do with it. He gave us a good bath, and we came out of it new people, washed inside and out by the Holy Spirit. Our Savior Jesus poured out new life so generously. God's gift has restored our relationship with Him and given us back our lives. And there's more life to come- an eternity of life!"
He is so kind.
When we can't celebrate what our life is handing us now, we can still celebrate Him. His kindness offers us an eternity of life.
So, as I type at 4:28am, unable to sleep because I woke and couldn't shake these thoughts, His thoughts for mankind, His ways of knowing so simply, yet precisely, what we need to be reminded of His presence in the midst of tough days, I am in awe of Him. Leaving in a few short hours for Nashville to make our daughter one step closer to being ours, I can't shake it. I can't shake Him. I am choosing to celebrate Him for so many reasons. But today I am focusing on one....
He is kind. So, so kind.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
"Brown Sissy"
Mother's Day.
I thought going through Christmas was tough without our sweet Ethiopian princess! Mother's Day might give it a run for it's money!! I'm so blessed. Like, super blessed. More than mere words could express or actions could show. As I press toward Mother's Day weekend I'm reminded of what rich treasure I have in my own Mom. She taught me the importance of The Word, not by forcing me to have a quiet time or dragging me to church. Rather, by being up early each morning with Bible already opened & poured over (Dad had his out too!). Recognizing the importance scripture played in her life gave me a deep love & yearning for the Word. I'm so grateful. And blessed.... Oh, I think I wrote that already. Anyway......
Mother's Day also makes me focus on these sweet kiddos who made me a mom!!! I often joke that the reason kids don't remember what happens before age 4 or 5 is because as parents we are still messing up so much, we need a few practice years. Of course I am kidding (mostly), but when I think about the blonde-haired, blue-eyed crew God has entrusted to our care I get weepy. Just today we were doing family devotions from our favorite kids devotional called, " Jesus Calling." In it we were asked to think about all that the world teaches us to "store up." then, we focused on joy, love, & peace & how we don't just store them up for ourselves, but we give them away. Then, they multiply! I love God's math.... By giving away, things multiply. Sigh. Back to my point. Brycen, Regan, Corbin, & Hudson have taught me so much about joy, love, & peace. Not because they are always joyful, loving, or peaceful, but because I recognize more tangibly how God loves us, me, as His adopted children. Nearly every night before bed I look at each of the kids and say, " you know what I love about you?" to which now they know & give the answer, "everything." I won't share everything about the kids that I love, but I want to honor them this Mother's Day because without them, well, I'm not a mom!
Brycen.... He is the only person I know who can give a ballgame play-by-play with as much emotion & drama as a Broadway play (ahem, and this is not an exaggeration). He loves to read & cuddle (shhh, don't tell!). Brycen would play ball 24 hrs a day, 7 days a week if I'd let him. So, when I go outside & play baseball with him (like yesterday) he gets a kick out of kicking my tail even though I didn't think we were keeping score! He is maternal in his instincts, often thinking about what I'm gonna need next before I do & often, he has already taken care of it. For instance, nearly every Sunday morning when I say, "let's start loading in the car," Brycen takes the little boys out & buckles them in their carseats. I've never, the first time, asked or expected him to. He loves scripture more than anyone I know & he is passionate about others knowing it as well. I'm so glad he's our first-born. I often whisper to him, " I'm so glad God chose you to be the one I'd first learn to be a Mommy to!" he just grins, hugs me, looks up at me, & hugs me again. I mean every word of it!
Regan......big things definitely come in small packages! She might be petite, but her personality & heart are the size of Texas!! If you follow the blog much at all, you know Regan has a huge heart for her sister in Ethiopia. She speaks of her often & always encourages me when she suspects I'm anxious about the adoption or sad about missing her sister. Regan asked me last summer if we could go buy backpacks, fill them with hygiene products, canned food, and a little money & keep them in our car so when we saw a homeless person we could give them one. Sigh. She teaches me so much about seeing people the way Jesus does. She also likes to dress up, wear make-up & big earrings (I have NO idea where she gets THAT!), & put on the best concerts you've ever seen (often times ending her concerts with, "Now please help me invite to the stage our pastor, Pastor Mark McKeehan, for a few words." cracks. me. up). Regan's creativity astounds me & her ability to love the difficult-to-love sets her apart. I'm so honored God chose me to be her mom.
Corbin..... FIRE BALL. I can't help but snicker just trying to think about what all to write. Corbin has his own language of which he gives us the privilege of understanding about every fifth word. He is energetic & super funny. As it turns out I believe he's gonna be our "class clown." He also happens to be the child who most longs for hugs, kisses, & quality time. In our adoption process I've had some very specific prayers. One has been that Corbin would never feel like we didn't have time for him & that he would understand the changes more than we thought a two year old could. Two weeks ago I was finding it difficult to put down a new book we'd found called, "Orphanology." On the cover are three pictures of children. The far left is a blonde-haired girl, in the middle is an Asian boy, & on the right is an African girl. As I read, Corbin was sitting on my lap. He pointed to the blonde girl & said, "Sissy" (Corbin affectionately refers to Brycen as "Bubba" and Regan as "Sissy"). I replied (half paying attention because I was trying to read while he was messing with the cover of my book!), " Yes, she does look like Sissy." Then he pointed to the picture on the right & said, "brown Sissy." My heart nearly stopped. I closed the book & said, "Show Mommy again." And again, he pointed to the blonde & said, "Sissy", then pointed to the African girl & said, "brown Sissy." We have never called our sweet Ethiopian princess "brown sissy", so I was taken aback. I quickly started videoing with my phone to send Mark a text. It was such confirmation to me that God is teaching him & he is understanding, indeed, more than we thought a two year old could. Thank you, Jesus, for loving us so kindly through Corbin!
Hudson..... Such a sweet boy!!!! His smile (with all 7 teeth) could light up any room. And his dimples? Oh please... To. Die. For!! Just recently he started wanting to play peek-a-boo again. However, he gets confused & when we say, "where's Hudson?" he covers his ears instead of his eyes! I get tickled every time. There's nothing like his little legs waddling as fast as they will carry him to me when he sees me coming to pick him up at church or when I come home from being out. Hudson loves to play in my shoes & he loves trying to keep up with Brycen & Corbin when they play play baseball with Mark in the living room. He doesn't look as much like the other three & his mannerisms are uniquely his. It has been such a joy to have all these "firsts" with our fourth! There is no other boy on the planet I'd want to be our baby!!
As you can see, this Mothers Day I have so much to celebrate & be grateful for. I'm asking for grace & supernatural comfort for my heart as I cherish these miracles & as I pray for our daughter who doesn't yet know she has a Mommy waiting, longing, coming for her. I'm humbled God entrusted me to mother Brycen, Regan, Corbin, & Hudson. And, "brown sissy."
I thought going through Christmas was tough without our sweet Ethiopian princess! Mother's Day might give it a run for it's money!! I'm so blessed. Like, super blessed. More than mere words could express or actions could show. As I press toward Mother's Day weekend I'm reminded of what rich treasure I have in my own Mom. She taught me the importance of The Word, not by forcing me to have a quiet time or dragging me to church. Rather, by being up early each morning with Bible already opened & poured over (Dad had his out too!). Recognizing the importance scripture played in her life gave me a deep love & yearning for the Word. I'm so grateful. And blessed.... Oh, I think I wrote that already. Anyway......
Mother's Day also makes me focus on these sweet kiddos who made me a mom!!! I often joke that the reason kids don't remember what happens before age 4 or 5 is because as parents we are still messing up so much, we need a few practice years. Of course I am kidding (mostly), but when I think about the blonde-haired, blue-eyed crew God has entrusted to our care I get weepy. Just today we were doing family devotions from our favorite kids devotional called, " Jesus Calling." In it we were asked to think about all that the world teaches us to "store up." then, we focused on joy, love, & peace & how we don't just store them up for ourselves, but we give them away. Then, they multiply! I love God's math.... By giving away, things multiply. Sigh. Back to my point. Brycen, Regan, Corbin, & Hudson have taught me so much about joy, love, & peace. Not because they are always joyful, loving, or peaceful, but because I recognize more tangibly how God loves us, me, as His adopted children. Nearly every night before bed I look at each of the kids and say, " you know what I love about you?" to which now they know & give the answer, "everything." I won't share everything about the kids that I love, but I want to honor them this Mother's Day because without them, well, I'm not a mom!
Brycen.... He is the only person I know who can give a ballgame play-by-play with as much emotion & drama as a Broadway play (ahem, and this is not an exaggeration). He loves to read & cuddle (shhh, don't tell!). Brycen would play ball 24 hrs a day, 7 days a week if I'd let him. So, when I go outside & play baseball with him (like yesterday) he gets a kick out of kicking my tail even though I didn't think we were keeping score! He is maternal in his instincts, often thinking about what I'm gonna need next before I do & often, he has already taken care of it. For instance, nearly every Sunday morning when I say, "let's start loading in the car," Brycen takes the little boys out & buckles them in their carseats. I've never, the first time, asked or expected him to. He loves scripture more than anyone I know & he is passionate about others knowing it as well. I'm so glad he's our first-born. I often whisper to him, " I'm so glad God chose you to be the one I'd first learn to be a Mommy to!" he just grins, hugs me, looks up at me, & hugs me again. I mean every word of it!
Regan......big things definitely come in small packages! She might be petite, but her personality & heart are the size of Texas!! If you follow the blog much at all, you know Regan has a huge heart for her sister in Ethiopia. She speaks of her often & always encourages me when she suspects I'm anxious about the adoption or sad about missing her sister. Regan asked me last summer if we could go buy backpacks, fill them with hygiene products, canned food, and a little money & keep them in our car so when we saw a homeless person we could give them one. Sigh. She teaches me so much about seeing people the way Jesus does. She also likes to dress up, wear make-up & big earrings (I have NO idea where she gets THAT!), & put on the best concerts you've ever seen (often times ending her concerts with, "Now please help me invite to the stage our pastor, Pastor Mark McKeehan, for a few words." cracks. me. up). Regan's creativity astounds me & her ability to love the difficult-to-love sets her apart. I'm so honored God chose me to be her mom.
Corbin..... FIRE BALL. I can't help but snicker just trying to think about what all to write. Corbin has his own language of which he gives us the privilege of understanding about every fifth word. He is energetic & super funny. As it turns out I believe he's gonna be our "class clown." He also happens to be the child who most longs for hugs, kisses, & quality time. In our adoption process I've had some very specific prayers. One has been that Corbin would never feel like we didn't have time for him & that he would understand the changes more than we thought a two year old could. Two weeks ago I was finding it difficult to put down a new book we'd found called, "Orphanology." On the cover are three pictures of children. The far left is a blonde-haired girl, in the middle is an Asian boy, & on the right is an African girl. As I read, Corbin was sitting on my lap. He pointed to the blonde girl & said, "Sissy" (Corbin affectionately refers to Brycen as "Bubba" and Regan as "Sissy"). I replied (half paying attention because I was trying to read while he was messing with the cover of my book!), " Yes, she does look like Sissy." Then he pointed to the picture on the right & said, "brown Sissy." My heart nearly stopped. I closed the book & said, "Show Mommy again." And again, he pointed to the blonde & said, "Sissy", then pointed to the African girl & said, "brown Sissy." We have never called our sweet Ethiopian princess "brown sissy", so I was taken aback. I quickly started videoing with my phone to send Mark a text. It was such confirmation to me that God is teaching him & he is understanding, indeed, more than we thought a two year old could. Thank you, Jesus, for loving us so kindly through Corbin!
Hudson..... Such a sweet boy!!!! His smile (with all 7 teeth) could light up any room. And his dimples? Oh please... To. Die. For!! Just recently he started wanting to play peek-a-boo again. However, he gets confused & when we say, "where's Hudson?" he covers his ears instead of his eyes! I get tickled every time. There's nothing like his little legs waddling as fast as they will carry him to me when he sees me coming to pick him up at church or when I come home from being out. Hudson loves to play in my shoes & he loves trying to keep up with Brycen & Corbin when they play play baseball with Mark in the living room. He doesn't look as much like the other three & his mannerisms are uniquely his. It has been such a joy to have all these "firsts" with our fourth! There is no other boy on the planet I'd want to be our baby!!
As you can see, this Mothers Day I have so much to celebrate & be grateful for. I'm asking for grace & supernatural comfort for my heart as I cherish these miracles & as I pray for our daughter who doesn't yet know she has a Mommy waiting, longing, coming for her. I'm humbled God entrusted me to mother Brycen, Regan, Corbin, & Hudson. And, "brown sissy."
Thursday, April 14, 2011
When the gavel falls....
It's a legal process. It's a costly process. It's a qualifications process.
It's adoption.
The more time that passes the more amazed I become at this entire process and how closely it mirrors, quite purposely I feel, our adoption into God's family. We have officially completed our home study and had it approved at all necessary levels in our agency. Oh glorious day! Our agency is being painted and having new carpet installed this week, so we can't pick up our home study until Tuesday or Wednesday when printers are reinstalled and the notary returns. When we get the home study in our hands we will immediately overnight all of our immigration paperwork (thank goodness the government didn't shut down!). We will also begin applying for adoption grants. The home study is a required part of adoption grant paperwork, so all of these moves get us closer and closer!
All that to say, the home study being complete is a big deal. I believe our social worker knows more about us than anyone else (besides the One who knows all the hairs on our head!) from personality, to finances, to parenting, to how we relate to others. We gladly sat through many questions and filling out lots of paperwork. Adoption is about being "qualified." I understand the rationale for it, there are people out there with ill motives seeking to do harm to children. On the other hand, we can go have as many biological children as we want without answering the first question about being "qualified." However, as an adopted daughter into the family of God I am reminded that I am not qualified to be in His family. On my own, I could never do enough, pay enough. or be enough to sit as His table to dine. How grateful I am that He was the only One qualified, the Only One who could make it possible. He met every qualification perfectly. Adoption is a qualifications process.
And, speaking of grants.... Adoption is a costly process. We are SO blessed to have so many joining in with us financially on this journey. We couldn't do it with out the help. God has provided and used people that we could have never imagined. I love Him for that. We are about halfway to our fundraising goal, which is amazing. We are so grateful for the adoption grants out there that we have the opportunity to apply for as well. We will still need more, even with the grants, but we aren't anxious about it. God has provided so perfectly thus far, we have total faith He will continue to provide in His way and time. He is perfect at provision and knowing the cost of adoption. All too well. Along this adoption road we have had many raised eyebrows regarding the cost and many "there's no way we could afford it" comments. God is growing me to see that no excuse is new to Him or justified by Him. The cost of adopting me cost Him everything. Literally. The cost to adopt you, if you know Him, cost Him everything. Literally. I stand in awe and bow low in gratitude that He never shook His head, looked at the ledger and balance, and said, "I can't do that. It's too much." Adoption is a costly process.
I sometimes let myself day dream about the day the judge rules her, "ours." A McKeehan through and through. Her REAL parents. Our REAL heir. I think about how I will feel, what I will say, and how I will respond. I think about how the gavel will sound in the judges hand, knowing that sound is the only thing that finalizes the process. I don't want to forget the sound of the gavel on the desk, knowing it is the sound of a victory song of one more added to the family. A courtroom. The scene is nothing new to adoption, to orphans, or to justification. As children, adopted by God himself, we know, we live, we depend on justification. Without it, we are still declared guilty rather than righteous. It is the legal process by which we declare His righteousness, His name, His inheritance, and the bond moves past legalities straight to family. To be found in His bloodline IS salvation. It IS redemption. It IS our hope. Our ONLY hope. Without adoption, we are still spiritual orphans. To know Him is to know adoption. Just when the enemy tries to distort the Truth of who I am in Christ I try to remember Him, our Righteous Judge. The Ancient of Days seated, gavel in hand. Knowing that with every drop of the gavel one more is added to the family. The legal process of justification starting and quickly turning into a familial relationship that no jury could deny. He holds the gavel and as the Judge He is the one who finalizes our adoption process....
when the gavel falls.
Adoption is a legal process. I know the Judge. He is qualified and already paid in full.
It's adoption.
The more time that passes the more amazed I become at this entire process and how closely it mirrors, quite purposely I feel, our adoption into God's family. We have officially completed our home study and had it approved at all necessary levels in our agency. Oh glorious day! Our agency is being painted and having new carpet installed this week, so we can't pick up our home study until Tuesday or Wednesday when printers are reinstalled and the notary returns. When we get the home study in our hands we will immediately overnight all of our immigration paperwork (thank goodness the government didn't shut down!). We will also begin applying for adoption grants. The home study is a required part of adoption grant paperwork, so all of these moves get us closer and closer!
All that to say, the home study being complete is a big deal. I believe our social worker knows more about us than anyone else (besides the One who knows all the hairs on our head!) from personality, to finances, to parenting, to how we relate to others. We gladly sat through many questions and filling out lots of paperwork. Adoption is about being "qualified." I understand the rationale for it, there are people out there with ill motives seeking to do harm to children. On the other hand, we can go have as many biological children as we want without answering the first question about being "qualified." However, as an adopted daughter into the family of God I am reminded that I am not qualified to be in His family. On my own, I could never do enough, pay enough. or be enough to sit as His table to dine. How grateful I am that He was the only One qualified, the Only One who could make it possible. He met every qualification perfectly. Adoption is a qualifications process.
And, speaking of grants.... Adoption is a costly process. We are SO blessed to have so many joining in with us financially on this journey. We couldn't do it with out the help. God has provided and used people that we could have never imagined. I love Him for that. We are about halfway to our fundraising goal, which is amazing. We are so grateful for the adoption grants out there that we have the opportunity to apply for as well. We will still need more, even with the grants, but we aren't anxious about it. God has provided so perfectly thus far, we have total faith He will continue to provide in His way and time. He is perfect at provision and knowing the cost of adoption. All too well. Along this adoption road we have had many raised eyebrows regarding the cost and many "there's no way we could afford it" comments. God is growing me to see that no excuse is new to Him or justified by Him. The cost of adopting me cost Him everything. Literally. The cost to adopt you, if you know Him, cost Him everything. Literally. I stand in awe and bow low in gratitude that He never shook His head, looked at the ledger and balance, and said, "I can't do that. It's too much." Adoption is a costly process.
I sometimes let myself day dream about the day the judge rules her, "ours." A McKeehan through and through. Her REAL parents. Our REAL heir. I think about how I will feel, what I will say, and how I will respond. I think about how the gavel will sound in the judges hand, knowing that sound is the only thing that finalizes the process. I don't want to forget the sound of the gavel on the desk, knowing it is the sound of a victory song of one more added to the family. A courtroom. The scene is nothing new to adoption, to orphans, or to justification. As children, adopted by God himself, we know, we live, we depend on justification. Without it, we are still declared guilty rather than righteous. It is the legal process by which we declare His righteousness, His name, His inheritance, and the bond moves past legalities straight to family. To be found in His bloodline IS salvation. It IS redemption. It IS our hope. Our ONLY hope. Without adoption, we are still spiritual orphans. To know Him is to know adoption. Just when the enemy tries to distort the Truth of who I am in Christ I try to remember Him, our Righteous Judge. The Ancient of Days seated, gavel in hand. Knowing that with every drop of the gavel one more is added to the family. The legal process of justification starting and quickly turning into a familial relationship that no jury could deny. He holds the gavel and as the Judge He is the one who finalizes our adoption process....
when the gavel falls.
Adoption is a legal process. I know the Judge. He is qualified and already paid in full.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Not Surprised
Well, our house has been busy the past few days as Mark and I prepare to leave for Passion: Ft. Worth tomorrow. The weekend was full of laundry, packing, writing notes for all the childcare help, organizing thoughts/stuff/ more stuff. And, then Monday was a continuation of the busyness, except with one big difference: Our final home study visit!!!! We were thrilled to have our social worker here to meet our kids, see our home, and get to know us in our environment. We started our home study interviews on Thursday (my individual meeting), then Friday (our couple interview and Mark's individual), and then, finally, Monday's visit in our home. At the end of my visit on Thursday, our social worker asked me what states I have lived in since I turned 18. I simply answered, "North Carolina," she typed on her computer and then had me fill out a section of my back ground check for North Carolina. She was gonna complete the rest of the form. Mark did the same thing on Friday after noon (late afternoon, like 4 pm). Just before she left her office Monday to come to our house, the social worker said she walked by the fax machine as something was coming through. Then, she realized it was from North Carolina. She said, "I thought to myself, 'I must have omitted something and they need clarification.' Then I realized it was your completed back ground checks. I have never had back ground checks come back that fast." I had to smile and say, "I am not surprised. That is what we are praying for."
It's in the little things I am learning to see Him and learning to just say, "Not surprised." He is hearing, He is answering, He is making a way. We are so, so grateful and humbled.
Once our home study is typed up and completed by the social worker we will apply for the immigration approval, fingerprinting, etc. Thanks for journeying with us. We will keep you updated as things progress. You being with us along way has made it so much sweeter. It is one of the unexpected blessings for us, one no one could have prepared us for. Then, again, I think about how He has crafted us to be His body, His Plan A. When I think about that I have to shrug and say, "Not surprised." We love you.
It's in the little things I am learning to see Him and learning to just say, "Not surprised." He is hearing, He is answering, He is making a way. We are so, so grateful and humbled.
Once our home study is typed up and completed by the social worker we will apply for the immigration approval, fingerprinting, etc. Thanks for journeying with us. We will keep you updated as things progress. You being with us along way has made it so much sweeter. It is one of the unexpected blessings for us, one no one could have prepared us for. Then, again, I think about how He has crafted us to be His body, His Plan A. When I think about that I have to shrug and say, "Not surprised." We love you.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Tangible
What a difference two weeks makes.
As we have journeyed the last two weeks from hearing about MOWA's plans to only view 5 cases per day as opposed to the previous 50-60 cases per day, our emotions have wavered from fear, sadness, & grief to hope, joy, & peace. It's like riding some kind of crazy roller coaster that you are unfamiliar with. Blind-folded. But, here we are. Overwhelmingly grateful to be on the roller coaster, deep valleys and all. We only received official confirmation from our agency yesterday that MOWA is now seeing 20 cases per day! Praises! It isn't back to 100%, but nearing 50% sure is better than the previous 90% decrease. We are overjoyed and thankful. God is answering our prayers and I do not believe it would be happening without them. The MOWA office did fire their previous personnel and now have a new director and all new personnel. The new staff seems to be willing to work with the US State Dept, other governments around the world, and agencies to resolve the corruption without such a drastic decrease in case load. For about 10 days we were in a "wait and see" mode. Just waiting and "watching" what was actually happening in adoption cases from Ethiopia. Two weeks ago tomorrow I was emotional all day, knowing if I had one quiet second alone I would have burst into tears all over the place. And I did a few times. I was so sad, fearing we would have to wait years to hold our daughter, but knowing it was all in God's timing. The human in me was just really, really sad. I was crying for orphans who would be left to the streets without the revenue from international adoptions to keep their orphanages open. That night I decided to shower late after the kids had gone to bed. In the shower, I sat down and prayed aloud, asking God to heal my heart and to give me the courage to trust Him. No matter what. Over and over I pleaded and said, "I trust You with my family." Over and over He was faithful to whisper in my spirit, "I know her, Carrie, and she is worth it. No matter what the next few months look like. She is worth the wait. I see her even now." The more He spoke to me, the more I trusted and believed Him.
When I woke the next morning, I was choosing hope and praise. I led stay-at-home-Mom's bible study that morning and chose not read any emails or internet updates until Bible study was over. When I opened my email and read that MOWA had only seen 5 cases that day, I began to cry. I was so grateful to have a few friends still here who loved on Sharon (also adopting from Ethiopia) and I. Through out the day I would audibly say, "I am putting my hope in You, Lord" more to get my heart and mind focused on Him than anything. Reminding myself that His timing is perfect, He sees all, He knows all, and His ways are full of purpose. That night our family went to IHOP for dinner, I wasn't up to cooking. I was hesitant all afternoon, waiting for Brycen or Regan to ask me if I had "talked to Ethiopia yet." That morning they woke up, knowing it was a big decision day in Ethiopia, and asked if we could pray for the people making decisions. Their involvement and encouragement are such a bright spot on this journey. I was grateful, however, they didn't ask me about it right after school. I wasn't sure I could drive and explain in effectively. I really wanted to be able to sit and talk to them about God's timing and trusting in Him, etc. That night at IHOP Regan and I went to the ladies room. While she was washing her hands she looked up at me and said, "Oh, Mom, I meant to ask you if you talked to Ethiopia today." Gulp. I replied, "Yes, Sweetie, I did. Listen, " (and I squatted down to get on eye level with her), "Ethiopia is slowing down how many adoptions they are doing. By a lot. So, it is just going to take a lot longer to get a sister than we originally thought." Wide-eyed she replied, "But, I can still get a brown sister, right?" "Yes," I said, "it is just going to take a while. Do you understand?" She turned and reached for a paper towel and began drying her hands. As she opened the door she looked back and said, "Yes. She will be worth the wait."
Tangible.
I could hardly get myself back to the table. The way God loves us overwhelms me sometimes. I was so in awe of Him, right there in the IHOP bathroom! He knew I needed something tangible to know He had heard our hearts' cries. The very words He had whispered to me the night before my six year old just spoke audibly. Sigh. He is so good to us, fighting our battles for us and protecting us along the way.
Needless to say, I replayed that bathroom conversation over and over in my mind about a million times over the next week when things were still in chaos and when scheduled meetings to give concrete answers were repeatedly cancelled. It was becoming more and more clear that putting my Hope in anything other than Him would prove inconsistent, unreliable, and temporary. But, as the days pressed on, the news got better and better.
It came to a huge mountain-top for us Thursday. In the middle of all of the unknowns, I was feeling like we may never get started on our home study or our next batch of paper work. I had taken the kids to the park Thursday to play and when I got back into the car I realized I had missed a call. When I listened to the voicemail, tears fell. It was our social worker from our agency wanting to start our home study! I initially thought the home study would take about a month. It is one visit alone with me, one alone with Mark, one with us together, and then one at our home. When I called back to give our available days, she said, "How about let's do your interview alone Thursday, then Friday you and Mark come in together and then I will do his after we finish with the two of you together." What? 3 of the 4 visits in 2 days? Yes. Our God is tangible. We are hoping to have our final home visit at the beginning of next week (before we leave for Passion: Ft. Worth) or at the beginning of the following week. From the latest information we have received this week it seems that our process will go "as normal" from now until we get our referral (so we need to do immigration paper work/fingerprinting, finish up our dossier, get it all authenticated at the state and federal levels, send it to Ethiopia, and wait). Once the Ethiopian government receives all of our paper work they will match us with a little girl. After we receive her information we wait a few months and go to "court." We will go to court in Ethiopia (this is the process where she becomes a McKeehan!) and we will be able to meet her and spend a few hours a day with her while we are there. Then, we will return home. This is where the new changes will likely cause a delay. Currently, there are about 5-6 weeks between your court date and your embassy appointment (when you travel back to Ethiopia and she becomes a US citizen and is able to enter our country and come to live with us!). The chances are, the time frame from court to embassy will at least double ( on the fast end). Rather than focusing on that, we are so excited to be getting our home study completed and to get on with the good stuff, without worrying and focusing on the negative stuff.
We are so honored and humbled to have you journeying with us. Our hearts are often in awe over the gratitude and support so many have offered us. Above all, we are humbled and brought to our knees with arms raised high at the faithfulness of our God. He is good. He is purposed. He is Sovereign. And in this season, I am so thankful
He is tangible.
As we have journeyed the last two weeks from hearing about MOWA's plans to only view 5 cases per day as opposed to the previous 50-60 cases per day, our emotions have wavered from fear, sadness, & grief to hope, joy, & peace. It's like riding some kind of crazy roller coaster that you are unfamiliar with. Blind-folded. But, here we are. Overwhelmingly grateful to be on the roller coaster, deep valleys and all. We only received official confirmation from our agency yesterday that MOWA is now seeing 20 cases per day! Praises! It isn't back to 100%, but nearing 50% sure is better than the previous 90% decrease. We are overjoyed and thankful. God is answering our prayers and I do not believe it would be happening without them. The MOWA office did fire their previous personnel and now have a new director and all new personnel. The new staff seems to be willing to work with the US State Dept, other governments around the world, and agencies to resolve the corruption without such a drastic decrease in case load. For about 10 days we were in a "wait and see" mode. Just waiting and "watching" what was actually happening in adoption cases from Ethiopia. Two weeks ago tomorrow I was emotional all day, knowing if I had one quiet second alone I would have burst into tears all over the place. And I did a few times. I was so sad, fearing we would have to wait years to hold our daughter, but knowing it was all in God's timing. The human in me was just really, really sad. I was crying for orphans who would be left to the streets without the revenue from international adoptions to keep their orphanages open. That night I decided to shower late after the kids had gone to bed. In the shower, I sat down and prayed aloud, asking God to heal my heart and to give me the courage to trust Him. No matter what. Over and over I pleaded and said, "I trust You with my family." Over and over He was faithful to whisper in my spirit, "I know her, Carrie, and she is worth it. No matter what the next few months look like. She is worth the wait. I see her even now." The more He spoke to me, the more I trusted and believed Him.
When I woke the next morning, I was choosing hope and praise. I led stay-at-home-Mom's bible study that morning and chose not read any emails or internet updates until Bible study was over. When I opened my email and read that MOWA had only seen 5 cases that day, I began to cry. I was so grateful to have a few friends still here who loved on Sharon (also adopting from Ethiopia) and I. Through out the day I would audibly say, "I am putting my hope in You, Lord" more to get my heart and mind focused on Him than anything. Reminding myself that His timing is perfect, He sees all, He knows all, and His ways are full of purpose. That night our family went to IHOP for dinner, I wasn't up to cooking. I was hesitant all afternoon, waiting for Brycen or Regan to ask me if I had "talked to Ethiopia yet." That morning they woke up, knowing it was a big decision day in Ethiopia, and asked if we could pray for the people making decisions. Their involvement and encouragement are such a bright spot on this journey. I was grateful, however, they didn't ask me about it right after school. I wasn't sure I could drive and explain in effectively. I really wanted to be able to sit and talk to them about God's timing and trusting in Him, etc. That night at IHOP Regan and I went to the ladies room. While she was washing her hands she looked up at me and said, "Oh, Mom, I meant to ask you if you talked to Ethiopia today." Gulp. I replied, "Yes, Sweetie, I did. Listen, " (and I squatted down to get on eye level with her), "Ethiopia is slowing down how many adoptions they are doing. By a lot. So, it is just going to take a lot longer to get a sister than we originally thought." Wide-eyed she replied, "But, I can still get a brown sister, right?" "Yes," I said, "it is just going to take a while. Do you understand?" She turned and reached for a paper towel and began drying her hands. As she opened the door she looked back and said, "Yes. She will be worth the wait."
Tangible.
I could hardly get myself back to the table. The way God loves us overwhelms me sometimes. I was so in awe of Him, right there in the IHOP bathroom! He knew I needed something tangible to know He had heard our hearts' cries. The very words He had whispered to me the night before my six year old just spoke audibly. Sigh. He is so good to us, fighting our battles for us and protecting us along the way.
Needless to say, I replayed that bathroom conversation over and over in my mind about a million times over the next week when things were still in chaos and when scheduled meetings to give concrete answers were repeatedly cancelled. It was becoming more and more clear that putting my Hope in anything other than Him would prove inconsistent, unreliable, and temporary. But, as the days pressed on, the news got better and better.
It came to a huge mountain-top for us Thursday. In the middle of all of the unknowns, I was feeling like we may never get started on our home study or our next batch of paper work. I had taken the kids to the park Thursday to play and when I got back into the car I realized I had missed a call. When I listened to the voicemail, tears fell. It was our social worker from our agency wanting to start our home study! I initially thought the home study would take about a month. It is one visit alone with me, one alone with Mark, one with us together, and then one at our home. When I called back to give our available days, she said, "How about let's do your interview alone Thursday, then Friday you and Mark come in together and then I will do his after we finish with the two of you together." What? 3 of the 4 visits in 2 days? Yes. Our God is tangible. We are hoping to have our final home visit at the beginning of next week (before we leave for Passion: Ft. Worth) or at the beginning of the following week. From the latest information we have received this week it seems that our process will go "as normal" from now until we get our referral (so we need to do immigration paper work/fingerprinting, finish up our dossier, get it all authenticated at the state and federal levels, send it to Ethiopia, and wait). Once the Ethiopian government receives all of our paper work they will match us with a little girl. After we receive her information we wait a few months and go to "court." We will go to court in Ethiopia (this is the process where she becomes a McKeehan!) and we will be able to meet her and spend a few hours a day with her while we are there. Then, we will return home. This is where the new changes will likely cause a delay. Currently, there are about 5-6 weeks between your court date and your embassy appointment (when you travel back to Ethiopia and she becomes a US citizen and is able to enter our country and come to live with us!). The chances are, the time frame from court to embassy will at least double ( on the fast end). Rather than focusing on that, we are so excited to be getting our home study completed and to get on with the good stuff, without worrying and focusing on the negative stuff.
We are so honored and humbled to have you journeying with us. Our hearts are often in awe over the gratitude and support so many have offered us. Above all, we are humbled and brought to our knees with arms raised high at the faithfulness of our God. He is good. He is purposed. He is Sovereign. And in this season, I am so thankful
He is tangible.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Shaping Worries into Prayers
Update:
I'm choosing Hope.
The news out of Ethiopia wasn't what we wanted. In fact, they did enforce a 90% decrease in cases heard at MOWA today. The response from our agency indicated that the Ethiopian government, as well as many other governments (including the US), are opposed to this plan and decision. The response also suggests that MOWA personnel is all new and there is a hope that the new leadership there will find a way to effectively communicate and put an end to this "looming crisis." I'm not doubting God's call, His plan, His way, or His will. I fully trust Him. I am, however, really sad. Heart-broken. Not just for what this could mean for our family ( a super long wait), but more for all the children living in Ethiopian orphanages who will soon be put on the streets from a 90% decrease in funding to orphanages. God has a heart to fight for the orphan and to make a way for them at all cost. I trust that today. I'm choosing to believe He will change the hearts and minds of those decision-makers and make this change temporary. I'm choosing Hope.
Thank you for your continued prayers. You have no idea how grateful we are for them. We are grieving, but continuing to fight for our daughter. She has never felt as far away as she does today, but I know the One who sees her, knows her, loves her, made her, and is fighting for her.
Psalm 56:8 (from the Message):
You've kept track of my every toss and turn through the sleepless nights,
Each tear you entered in your ledger, each ache written in your book
So grateful He fights our battles for us.
I'm choosing Hope.
Original post:
Easier said than done.
That pretty much sums up so much of our lives right now regarding adoption. Waiting. It is an innate part of the adoption journey on a million levels and knowing God's timing is perfect is always in the forefront of my mind. However, it is easier said than done. Anxiety. It, too, can be part of the process considering all of the unknowns and dependence on so many other people. Believing and claiming Philippians 4:6 (from the Message): Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns.
Easier said than done.
I am trying to focus on those words, "Shape your worries into prayers." As some of you know (and others have just seen facebook posts), tomorrow is a crucial day in the vitality and future of adoptions in Ethiopia. MOWA (Ministry of Women's Affairs) plays a large role in finalizing adoptions on the Ethiopian side of things... meaning without a MOWA letter of approval, you don't pass court, and therefore don't adopt. The MOWA office is making an announcement of some sort tomorrow (March 10) regarding rumors that starting tomorrow they are only going to hear 5 international adoption cases a day rather than the 40-50 per day they have been hearing. 90% decrease. Sigh. In an effort to decrease corruption and rampant unethical practices involved in Ethiopian adoptions recently, the government is trying to do more thorough investigations of each case. For that, I am grateful. However, there are other plans out there to decrease this corruption and increase investigations without the 90% decrease. From what I understand there is still division among the Ethiopian government as to the best approach for monitoring/investigating each case. In all reality, the orphanages and a large sector of governmental jobs would be devastated by this decrease, being unable to survive without the revenue that adoptions give. This decrease, most importantly, would leave hundreds of thousands of orphans currently living in orphanages completely homeless.
Focus on, "Shape your worries into prayers."
If you are reading this and are willing, please commit to prayer tonight and in the morning for decision-makers in Ethiopia, the government officials, and these affected children. Please pray for wisdom, discernment, and clarity for those deciding whether or not to enforce this 90% decrease in adoptions. With all my heart, I believe and know God is passionate about caring for orphans and always making a way for them. I am grateful He already knows the outcome. As I lean into Him and the truth of His sovereignty, I would love you to join me (us) in prayer.
Focus on, "Shape your worries into prayers."
I will keep you posted on what news we hear... our agency has people "on the ground" in Ethiopia at the MOWA office trying to get to the bottom of what is going on. Please pray for our family as we seek comfort in knowing He sees, He knows, He cares, He fights our battles for us. Deep Sigh. Seeking to move to a place where it isn't easier said than done. Thanks for loving on us and being supportive. We are honored and thankful to be on this road.... So, so thankful.
"Instead of worrying, pray."
I'm choosing Hope.
The news out of Ethiopia wasn't what we wanted. In fact, they did enforce a 90% decrease in cases heard at MOWA today. The response from our agency indicated that the Ethiopian government, as well as many other governments (including the US), are opposed to this plan and decision. The response also suggests that MOWA personnel is all new and there is a hope that the new leadership there will find a way to effectively communicate and put an end to this "looming crisis." I'm not doubting God's call, His plan, His way, or His will. I fully trust Him. I am, however, really sad. Heart-broken. Not just for what this could mean for our family ( a super long wait), but more for all the children living in Ethiopian orphanages who will soon be put on the streets from a 90% decrease in funding to orphanages. God has a heart to fight for the orphan and to make a way for them at all cost. I trust that today. I'm choosing to believe He will change the hearts and minds of those decision-makers and make this change temporary. I'm choosing Hope.
Thank you for your continued prayers. You have no idea how grateful we are for them. We are grieving, but continuing to fight for our daughter. She has never felt as far away as she does today, but I know the One who sees her, knows her, loves her, made her, and is fighting for her.
Psalm 56:8 (from the Message):
You've kept track of my every toss and turn through the sleepless nights,
Each tear you entered in your ledger, each ache written in your book
So grateful He fights our battles for us.
I'm choosing Hope.
Original post:
Easier said than done.
That pretty much sums up so much of our lives right now regarding adoption. Waiting. It is an innate part of the adoption journey on a million levels and knowing God's timing is perfect is always in the forefront of my mind. However, it is easier said than done. Anxiety. It, too, can be part of the process considering all of the unknowns and dependence on so many other people. Believing and claiming Philippians 4:6 (from the Message): Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns.
Easier said than done.
I am trying to focus on those words, "Shape your worries into prayers." As some of you know (and others have just seen facebook posts), tomorrow is a crucial day in the vitality and future of adoptions in Ethiopia. MOWA (Ministry of Women's Affairs) plays a large role in finalizing adoptions on the Ethiopian side of things... meaning without a MOWA letter of approval, you don't pass court, and therefore don't adopt. The MOWA office is making an announcement of some sort tomorrow (March 10) regarding rumors that starting tomorrow they are only going to hear 5 international adoption cases a day rather than the 40-50 per day they have been hearing. 90% decrease. Sigh. In an effort to decrease corruption and rampant unethical practices involved in Ethiopian adoptions recently, the government is trying to do more thorough investigations of each case. For that, I am grateful. However, there are other plans out there to decrease this corruption and increase investigations without the 90% decrease. From what I understand there is still division among the Ethiopian government as to the best approach for monitoring/investigating each case. In all reality, the orphanages and a large sector of governmental jobs would be devastated by this decrease, being unable to survive without the revenue that adoptions give. This decrease, most importantly, would leave hundreds of thousands of orphans currently living in orphanages completely homeless.
Focus on, "Shape your worries into prayers."
If you are reading this and are willing, please commit to prayer tonight and in the morning for decision-makers in Ethiopia, the government officials, and these affected children. Please pray for wisdom, discernment, and clarity for those deciding whether or not to enforce this 90% decrease in adoptions. With all my heart, I believe and know God is passionate about caring for orphans and always making a way for them. I am grateful He already knows the outcome. As I lean into Him and the truth of His sovereignty, I would love you to join me (us) in prayer.
Focus on, "Shape your worries into prayers."
I will keep you posted on what news we hear... our agency has people "on the ground" in Ethiopia at the MOWA office trying to get to the bottom of what is going on. Please pray for our family as we seek comfort in knowing He sees, He knows, He cares, He fights our battles for us. Deep Sigh. Seeking to move to a place where it isn't easier said than done. Thanks for loving on us and being supportive. We are honored and thankful to be on this road.... So, so thankful.
"Instead of worrying, pray."
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