Tangible

What a difference two weeks makes.

As we have journeyed the last two weeks from hearing about MOWA's plans to only view 5 cases per day as opposed to the previous 50-60 cases per day, our emotions have wavered from fear, sadness, & grief to hope, joy, & peace. It's like riding some kind of crazy roller coaster that you are unfamiliar with. Blind-folded. But, here we are. Overwhelmingly grateful to be on the roller coaster, deep valleys and all. We only received official confirmation from our agency yesterday that MOWA is now seeing 20 cases per day! Praises! It isn't back to 100%, but nearing 50% sure is better than the previous 90% decrease. We are overjoyed and thankful. God is answering our prayers and I do not believe it would be happening without them. The MOWA office did fire their previous personnel and now have a new director and all new personnel. The new staff seems to be willing to work with the US State Dept, other governments around the world, and agencies to resolve the corruption without such a drastic decrease in case load. For about 10 days we were in a "wait and see" mode. Just waiting and "watching" what was actually happening in adoption cases from Ethiopia. Two weeks ago tomorrow I was emotional all day, knowing if I had one quiet second alone I would have burst into tears all over the place. And I did a few times. I was so sad, fearing we would have to wait years to hold our daughter, but knowing it was all in God's timing. The human in me was just really, really sad. I was crying for orphans who would be left to the streets without the revenue from international adoptions to keep their orphanages open. That night I decided to shower late after the kids had gone to bed. In the shower, I sat down and prayed aloud, asking God to heal my heart and to give me the courage to trust Him. No matter what. Over and over I pleaded and said, "I trust You with my family." Over and over He was faithful to whisper in my spirit, "I know her, Carrie, and she is worth it. No matter what the next few months look like. She is worth the wait. I see her even now." The more He spoke to me, the more I trusted and believed Him.
When I woke the next morning, I was choosing hope and praise. I led stay-at-home-Mom's bible study that morning and chose not read any emails or internet updates until Bible study was over. When I opened my email and read that MOWA had only seen 5 cases that day, I began to cry. I was so grateful to have a few friends still here who loved on Sharon (also adopting from Ethiopia) and I. Through out the day I would audibly say, "I am putting my hope in You, Lord" more to get my heart and mind focused on Him than anything. Reminding myself that His timing is perfect, He sees all, He knows all, and His ways are full of purpose. That night our family went to IHOP for dinner, I wasn't up to cooking. I was hesitant all afternoon, waiting for Brycen or Regan to ask me if I had "talked to Ethiopia yet." That morning they woke up, knowing it was a big decision day in Ethiopia, and asked if we could pray for the people making decisions. Their involvement and encouragement are such a bright spot on this journey. I was grateful, however, they didn't ask me about it right after school. I wasn't sure I could drive and explain in effectively. I really wanted to be able to sit and talk to them about God's timing and trusting in Him, etc. That night at IHOP Regan and I went to the ladies room. While she was washing her hands she looked up at me and said, "Oh, Mom, I meant to ask you if you talked to Ethiopia today." Gulp. I replied, "Yes, Sweetie, I did. Listen, " (and I squatted down to get on eye level with her), "Ethiopia is slowing down how many adoptions they are doing. By a lot. So, it is just going to take a lot longer to get a sister than we originally thought." Wide-eyed she replied, "But, I can still get a brown sister, right?" "Yes," I said, "it is just going to take a while. Do you understand?" She turned and reached for a paper towel and began drying her hands. As she opened the door she looked back and said, "Yes. She will be worth the wait."
Tangible.
I could hardly get myself back to the table. The way God loves us overwhelms me sometimes. I was so in awe of Him, right there in the IHOP bathroom! He knew I needed something tangible to know He had heard our hearts' cries. The very words He had whispered to me the night before my six year old just spoke audibly. Sigh. He is so good to us, fighting our battles for us and protecting us along the way.

Needless to say, I replayed that bathroom conversation over and over in my mind about a million times over the next week when things were still in chaos and when scheduled meetings to give concrete answers were repeatedly cancelled. It was becoming more and more clear that putting my Hope in anything other than Him would prove inconsistent, unreliable, and temporary. But, as the days pressed on, the news got better and better.
It came to a huge mountain-top for us Thursday. In the middle of all of the unknowns, I was feeling like we may never get started on our home study or our next batch of paper work. I had taken the kids to the park Thursday to play and when I got back into the car I realized I had missed a call. When I listened to the voicemail, tears fell. It was our social worker from our agency wanting to start our home study! I initially thought the home study would take about a month. It is one visit alone with me, one alone with Mark, one with us together, and then one at our home. When I called back to give our available days, she said, "How about let's do your interview alone Thursday, then Friday you and Mark come in together and then I will do his after we finish with the two of you together." What? 3 of the 4 visits in 2 days? Yes. Our God is tangible. We are hoping to have our final home visit at the beginning of next week (before we leave for Passion: Ft. Worth) or at the beginning of the following week. From the latest information we have received this week it seems that our process will go "as normal" from now until we get our referral (so we need to do immigration paper work/fingerprinting, finish up our dossier, get it all authenticated at the state and federal levels, send it to Ethiopia, and wait). Once the Ethiopian government receives all of our paper work they will match us with a little girl. After we receive her information we wait a few months and go to "court." We will go to court in Ethiopia (this is the process where she becomes a McKeehan!) and we will be able to meet her and spend a few hours a day with her while we are there. Then, we will return home. This is where the new changes will likely cause a delay. Currently, there are about 5-6 weeks between your court date and your embassy appointment (when you travel back to Ethiopia and she becomes a US citizen and is able to enter our country and come to live with us!). The chances are, the time frame from court to embassy will at least double ( on the fast end). Rather than focusing on that, we are so excited to be getting our home study completed and to get on with the good stuff, without worrying and focusing on the negative stuff.
We are so honored and humbled to have you journeying with us. Our hearts are often in awe over the gratitude and support so many have offered us. Above all, we are humbled and brought to our knees with arms raised high at the faithfulness of our God. He is good. He is purposed. He is Sovereign. And in this season, I am so thankful

He is tangible.