"This is what I really want"

This journey, young as it is, has already been so humbling, so emotional, so... did I mention humbling? Over the past couple of years our children have known the ups & downs, certainty & uncertainty, beauty & ashes, that all come with any adoption story. My niece and nephew, Tia and Garrett, have only been with their forever family for nearing 12 weeks. Brycen and Regan prayed and prayed, even cried and cried with us along the journey to make them part of our extended family. Just last weekend as we visited Charlotte, NC to enjoy a few days with Mendy, David, and their 6 kids (Tia and Garrett are the newest additions) I sat and listened to all the cousins playing. Bliss. It brought back all the car ride talks, bedtime chats, and prayers at all hours of the night in the pursuit to bring Tia and Garrett home. Bliss. Oh wait, I think I already said that. Anyway. My heart was drawn to thankfulness, my lips couldn't be quiet as I prayed aloud, "Thank you, God, for this gift of adoption. And, thank you that you are faithful, always making a way for the orphan." Though Mark and I never left our children out of the talks about Tia and Garrett and what was going on paperwork wise, neither did we necessarily think they really understood all that was going on. How wrong we (at least, I) was.

Humbling.... Yes, this process has been so humbling. About 6 weeks ago it was a busy Wednesday night and I was trying to get all the kids loaded into the car for church. I had all the boys in and buckled in car seats. I started the car and waited. Regan. What in the world could possibly be taking her so long? Waited. Then, under my breath wondering where she could be I got out of the car, went inside loudly asking (to put it mildly), "Regan! Where are..." Then, she came around the corner in the kitchen holding something behind her. I could tell she had no idea she was "late."

"Sweety, what are you doing? The boys and I are waiting on you in the car."

"Well, Mom. I was wondering if you and Dad could save this to help bring a brother or sister home." Then, she handed me a quarter. Instant tears. Earlier that day I had struggled with how all this was financially going to come to fruition. In that moment God whispered in my spirit, "I have this, Carrie. Rest." So, our adoption fund officially started that night.

It opened up the perfect opportunity to talk to Brycen and Regan about needing to specifically pray for 2 things: that God would lead us the sweet girl who He wants in our family and that He would provide the money for her to come home.

Mark and I found the perfect glass container to put on the counter for "adoption money." We were overwhelmed to hear that lone, Regan-found quarter hit the bottom of that glass jar. Any of us can add loose change or bills when we want.... it's just a constant reminder to all of us that: (1) There is a sweet girl (I will get to that decision on another post) waiting for us in Ethiopia and we love her profusely without even knowing her name (2) God has to provide to make any of this possible (3) This is going to take sacrifice, not just the financial kind.

It wasn't until a couple of weeks later, I realized how much Brycen, too, "got it." Brycen received a late birthday card with a $20 in it. That night after we got home I overheard Mark say, "Hey buddy, you don't have to put that money in the adoption jar. That money is for you for your birthday. You can spend it and get something you really want for your birthday."

"Dad," Brycen replied back, opening the lid to the glass container, "this is what I really want."

He locked the lid after his crisp $20 hit the bottom, watching it fall the whole way.

Humbling.